Things have changed...

I am sure that I could craft some sort of eloquent monologue for you, but if you really want to know more about me the best way is to read the rest of this page, read my blog, or talk to me... As a basic profile sketch - I love to analyze, I am very stubborn/determined, I crave and need change and excitement in some form, I love a challenge, I tend to be brutally honest and sometimes unsympathetic towards people although im generally very accepting, I am a physical person with those I am friendly with, I tend to scare some people away by attempting to be too intimate with them too quickly because I cannot stand surface level interaction and the general show of words and nonsense that occurs so consistently unless in the correct context like at work. I am very loyal. On the negative side - I can be apathetic towards some people, I can get defensive about things with people I am close to, when I am tired I lose patience very quickly, I am prideful at times and can let my self confidence go overboard, I lose touch with reality sometimes, and im sure my friends, family, and fiance' could add to this list.

I am vigilant, open minded, and paradoxical

I am sort of in a period of planning right now. In general I wish to go to college to pursue the study of religion, more specifically comparative religion. Now, I could study this just fine on my own, but in order to influence others, credentials would be quite useful, as would the connections that could be made in the field at a place such a university. It would also be nice to be able to do what I love and get paid for it. Thus most of my efforts right now are revolving around attempting to figure out how to pay for the college that I want to go to, and determining just exactly which one would be best suited for me. I have previously gone to a christian college for a year, but the religious bias bothers me, as does the insistance on many rules. I could spend the rest of my life reading, exploring, contemplating, etc.... but unfortunately this isnt practical enough to keep me alive, and also would be of no benefit to anyone else.

writing, finding things online and computers in general, communicating in many forms, hearing very quiet sounds through a loud foreground, remaining calm in horrible situations, reproducing music that I hear on a keyboard, flight combat simulators, and in general almost anything if it catches my interest enough. I also have a very keen psychological instinct according to those who know me well.... thats about it

The way I look at them. The intensity, openness, and intelligence that my eyes project.

-------------------------------------------------------------------- BOOKS---------------------------------------------------------------

It will be easier to do authors so, here goes - J.R.R Tolkien, Friedrich Nietzsche, L.E.Modesitt Jr, Nicolo Machiavelli, Terry Brooks, Douglas Adams, Margaret Weis, Aleister Crowley, Anne Rice, Richard Knaak, Frederick Perls, John Keats, Francis Schaeffer, James Joyce, Henry Cornelius Agrippa, Francesco Maria Guazzo, Gregory Hays, Edgar Cayce, Alexis De Tocqueville, Harold Bloom, Sir Walter Scott, {{Frank Herbert}}, Alexandre Dumas, J.D. Salinger, Marcus Aurelius, Geoffrey Chaucer, Nathaniel Hawthorne, Giordano Bruno, Lao Tzu. - favorite books - Thus Spake Zarathustra, Dune, The Gestalt Approach, A clockwork Orange

-------------------------------------------------------------------- MOVIES--------------------------------------------------------------

Being John Malkovich, Eyes Wide Shut, Girl Interrupted, The Ninth Gate, The Truman Show, Contact, From Hell, Gladiator, Interview With The Vampire, Silence Of The Lambs, Crouching Tiger Hidden Dragon, Lord Of The Rings trilogy, Schindlers List, Forrest Gump, Children Of Dune, As Good As It Gets, Cape Fear, Monty Python And The Holy Grail, Gettysburg, Les Miserables, Asoka, The Jackal, Amistad, The 13 Warrior, Gattaca, A Clockwork Orange, A Knights Tale, Edward Scissorhands, Ivanhoe, Eternal Sunshine Of The Spotless Mind, Se7en, Shawshenk Redemption, Tears Of The Sun, Red Dragon - favorite actors - Johnny Depp, Jude Law, Bruce Willis - favorite actresses - Winona Ryder, Jodie Foster

We must forget TV either tho - favorite shows - Mad TV, Battlestar Galactics, both Stargate shows, Reno 911, Histories Mysteries, Ghost Hunters,Who's Line Is It Anyway, standup comedians - Carlos Mencia, Pablo Fransisco, Dane Cook, Lewis Black, Denis Leary, Kevin James.

-------------------------------------------------------------------- MUSIC---------------------------------------------------------------

Rufus Wainright, Red Hot Chili Peppers, Dido, Sting, Enya, Cranberries, HIM, Autumn To Ashes, Rammstein, Rage Against The Machine, Muse, Gwen Stefani, Jewel, Thin Lizzy, Lou Donaldson, Nat King Cole, Jethro Tull, Carlos Santana, Stan Getz, Wes Montgomery, Beck, Danny Elfman, Eartha Kitt, Darling Violetta, Nickelback, Michelle Branch, Miles Davis, Wierd Al, James Taylor, Tiamat, Bjork, Erykah Badu, Natalie Imbruglia, Lacuna Coil, Incubus, Jon Brion, Loreena McKennitt, Lenny Kravitz, Mussorgsky, Saint-Saens, Vivaldi, Scarlatti, Shostakovich, Bach, Rachmaninoff, Debussy, Telemann, Hanz Zimmer, Chopin, Jay Z, Eminem, 50 Cent. - favorite songs - Californication, Poses, Dust In The Wind, The Girl From Ipanema, Numb Encore, Join Me In Death, Four Mazurkas Op. 30, Abide With Me, Everybody's Gotta Learn Sometime, Piano Concerto No.2 Movement 2(Rachmaninoff), Desafinado, For The Beauty Of The Earth, Panis Angelicus

-------------------------------------------------------------------- FOODS---------------------------------------------------------------

not much specific.... I am addicted to milk and rice oddly enough. Generally I like American Chinese food and Italian food the most. Szechuan Gnocchi Pesto?? I wish.

1. People to talk to 2. Music 3. Freedom 4. The few people that I trust 5. Night 6. Milk

Oh god, where to begin.... anything and everything at every given moment. I have a very hard time getting to sleep because even tho my body is tired, my mind will not stop... hence I am almost never to bed before 3:00 AM. Mostly I think about people and the dynamics of their contact with their surroundings. I tend to find great interest in analyzing systems, and the patterns that appear, the dynamics, and how some systems are so similar in odd ways. Analysis is my greatest strength and my most enduring interest. More specifically, I am quite interested in ancient history, in philosophy - esp postmodern philosophy and Nietzschean philosophy, psychology and symbolism and gestalt psychology, literature, patterns in higher math and physics, and politics. I wish I could learn about everything, but I try to stick to specific bodies of knowledge as much as possible.

Either at home reading or watching a movie, or out with my friends walking around cemetaries, or at the movie theatre , or at a restaurant, or sitting on my bed thinking and wishing I was at one of the previously mentioned places.

I have many secrets as is true of most anyone you will meet. Most of them are simply what goes on in my head when I look at people... but I am very open to questions so if you ask chances are I will tell.

Anyone wishing to add to my idea of self with their own comments may do so. Anyone who wishes to introduce themselves and entertain me is also welcome. Anyone wishing to argue about anything that I have some idea of is Very welcome. Obviously anyone interested in knowing me as well. You know, pretention is so much easier than having to explain the truth. .. so really instead of saying who I would like to meet, since people are so much more than a collection of different attributes (unless playing fallout), I will meet you first and Then tell you if I Liked meeting you. Oh, dont worry I wont be rude about it, so you can go on and pretend that because I am being polite that I really did like meeting you if you wish - of course who am I to tell you what you Can and Cant do, you already know that dont you? Well what I know about me is that I love to rant, because thats what muffin men do. The real question is, how brave are you?