Although I was born in South Carolina (in North Charleston, alas!), I ask that you not hold it against me. Too prevalent in this neck of the woods is a profoundly grating get-off-my-lawn-you-lousy-carpetbagger attitude, and too often is it espoused by transplants who were at one time newbies themselves. If you're not Ohlone, you oughtn't feel that way. I've lived in many places besides South Carolina, namely (in chronological order) Florida, Spain, Hawaii, Texas, West Virginia, Washington, the Netherlands, the Mojave Desert, and last but not least, San Francisco.
Well, I've been hanging around this crazed, amazing, spectacular little gingerbread village for over 4.5 years now, and while it's been fun being on my own, I really don't want to be on my own any more. It's easy to get laid in this town (a leper could do it), but I want something else. In short, I am hunting for love, and I want to use OkCupid as my sniper scope. While there seems to be an abundance of breathtakingly gorgeous women in this town (most of the rest are merely pretty), many of them are snotty hotties who only speak to their fellow hipsters* and eschew contact with the rest of humanity. Many of the non-hipsters (read: highly educated professionals) are status-obsessed gold-diggers. Many of the gals who fall into neither category are dope fiends. Yuck.
I'm not against women who love indie rock, giant secretary glasses, and fixies per se; I'm not against women who majored in molecular biology, donate to NPR, and do yoga every day per se. What I am opposed to is the arrogance that usually accompanies such characteristics. I am definitely opposed to abscess-stabbing, glass-twirling, and constant powder-vacuuming per se.
Perhaps I judge too harshly; perhaps some degree of arrogance and some form of elitism are both nearly universal features of the human psyche. Maybe almost all of us are elitists, but with differing standards. (As for myself, I'm a pretty big proponent of Plato's "aristocracy of the intellect.") Despite that, egalitarianism is nearly ubiquitous in principle out here, but it is quite rare in practice. That pisses me off. I hate fakeness, lies, and hypocrisy with a passionate fury.
My sense of smell disappeared for good in '08. I smoke like a forest fire, I drink prodigious quantities of coffee, and I've narrowed down the list of cities in which I'd like to settle permanently to a grand total of two: The Hague and Copenhagen (they're full of bicycles, nowhere near any active fault lines as far as I know, and above sea level). I cannot tolerate stupid people, and sometimes I fear the future in general and mine in particular, though not solely due to the global stupidity epidemic and its potentially disastrous consequences. When I die, I want to die in an earthquake, and during the earthquake, I want a bookcase (its shelves groaning with books I've started to read but never finished) to topple over and crush me like a bedbug.
I hope both political parties here in the US will disband within my lifetime because they both suck.
*Of course I'm aware of other subcultures' presence -punks, goths, hippies, &c.-, but within each of them one often finds the same futile brownie-point competition for which hipsterdom has earned its rightfully-mocked notoriety.