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MattGardens

27 San Diego, CA Man

Man

I’m looking for

  • Women
  • Ages 21–40
  • Near me
  • Who are single
  • For long-term dating, short-term dating

My Details

Last Online
Feb 24
Orientation
Straight
Ethnicity
White
Height
5′ 8″ (1.73m)
Body Type
Thin
Diet
Smokes
No
Drinks
Socially
Drugs
Religion
Sign
Education
Graduated from university
Job
Art / Music / Writing
Income
Status
Single
Type
Offspring
Pets
Likes dogs and likes cats
Speaks
English

Similar Users

My self-summary
Write a little about yourself. Just a paragraph will do.
I approve of myself and possibly you, depending on how many R. Kelly lyrics you've committed to memory.

I'm a standup comic and communicate mostly through humor, because I can. Thankfully, I (usually) know when to stop slipping on banana peels.

I believe in bigfoot, my favorite rappers are professional wrestlers and I once had a strong emotional bond with a sea monkey. And unlike my esteemed colleagues on this site, I have never owned a single brimmed hat. So if you want me to tip one in your direction, you must supply your own.

If you ignore the homeless as a rule and not an exception, I'm not interested in knowing you. Not bluffing.

I failed the Myers-Briggs test.
What I’m doing with my life
Don’t overthink this one; tell us what you’re doing day-to-day.
Being one of the good ones.
I’m really good at
Go on, brag a little (or a lot). We won’t judge.
Deterring apex predators (for real). Making people laugh in basements. Saying what kind of birds those are even though nobody asked.
The first things people usually notice about me
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
Eyes the color of dolphin tears (of joy).
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Help your potential matches find common interests.
Jack London, John Steinbeck, Thomas Mann, Emile Zola, James Baldwin, Slavoj Zizek, everything Werner Herzog has ever done, Step Brothers, Peep Show, Rammstein, Laibach, The Crystal Method, The Prodigy, Morrissey against my better judgment, fruit and vegetables.
The six things I could never do without
Think outside the box. Sometimes the little things can say a lot.
Magic everywhere in this bitch
Angry internet people
Sparkles
Randy Savage
90s breakbeat
The British
Moxie
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Global warming, lunch, or your next vacation… it’s all fair game.
Why women are all like, "Nee nee nee nee!" And guys are all like, "Hurr durr hurr hurr durr!"
On a typical Friday night I am
Netflix and takeout, or getting your party on — how do you let loose?
Handsome yet attainable.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
Keanu Reeves is gay.
You should message me if
Offer a few tips to help matches win you over.
You can identify jokes in the wild.

You can cure my hilariously overblown fear of sharks.

You've never written the string "bahahahaha..."