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29 Brooklyn, NY Man


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I’m looking for

  • Women
  • Ages 24-99
  • Near me
  • For new friends, long-term dating, short-term dating, casual sex

My details

Last online
Online now!
Relationship Type
Mostly non-monogamous
6' 2" (1.88m)
Body Type
Special Diet
English (Somewhat)
My self-summary
Write a little about yourself. Just a paragraph will do.
A biped, ungrateful.
Cunning and lanky, cool but crude.
Gay for Satan.
I don't say much. Oh, well.
Ain't looking for nothing serious.

Myers-Briggs = IDGAF and my zodiac sign is Scoliosis and I was born in The Year of the Pantomime Horse.

I didn't know that I was supposed to be clever with my username, and now they won't let me change it.
What I’m doing with my life
Don’t overthink this one; tell us what you’re doing day-to-day.
Who are you, my parents?
I’m really good at
Go on, brag a little (or a lot). We won’t judge.
Cracking wise and tripping over uneven pavement. Teaching kids to smoke. Making light from the vigorous rubbing together of two darknesses. Drunken Quickmatch. I can touch my right elbow to my left shoulder behind my head, which has yet to come in handy.
The first things people usually notice about me
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
I don't have any tattoos.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Help your potential matches find common interests.
Right now let's say The Luminaries, Fletch, Fishing with John, The Mountain Goats, and grilled cheese. I'm a foodie.
The six things I could never do without
Think outside the box. Sometimes the little things can say a lot.
Fiscal responsibility, charisma, a sense of direction, technological savvy, social grace, and the ability to concentrate on whatever I'm doing without being distracted by like clouds or whatever. And yet I do, every gosh darn day.
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Global warming, lunch, or your next vacation… it’s all fair game.
Sneakuhz, snark, sex, death and solipsism.

When will Con-Ed finally shut off my power?

Are these sunglasses opaque enough to allow for discreet subway ogling?

Is everybody Shutter Islanding me?
On a typical Friday night I am
Netflix and takeout, or getting your party on — how do you let loose?
tending towards entropy, like everything else.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
I'm catfishing.
You should message me if
Offer a few tips to help matches win you over.
You want to be a pantomime horse with me on Halloween, or whenever.

Or if you taste like an ashtray.

Or if we have a high enemy percentage. Contempt is a fine catalyst for romance.