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MatthewFaux

28 M Kissimmee, FL

My Details

Last Online
Online now!
Orientation
Gay
Ethnicity
White
Height
5′ 11″ (1.80m)
Body Type
Average
Diet
Mostly anything
Smokes
No
Drinks
Socially
Drugs
Never
Religion
Agnosticism, but not too serious about it
Sign
Libra, and it’s fun to think about
Education
Graduated from space camp
Job
Hospitality
Income
Rather not say
Relationship Status
Single
Relationship Type
Offspring
Pets
Likes dogs and dislikes cats
Speaks
English (Fluently), Spanish (Okay)

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My self-summary
Write a little about yourself. Just a paragraph will do.
When people write "just ask" in their profile: If I wanted to just ask you I would “just ask you.” If you seem uninteresting, I won't ask you shit. Providing me with instructions is unnecessary, sir.

Why all the cute ones gotta be so vapid?

My people are the people who would never use the excuse of being bored as a reason for being boring. We are a simple people; we take pleasure in the small things, we have an eye for details most will miss. We have a propensity toward randomness and also gin. If you do too: cool. That can be “our thing.” If you don’t, then that’ll be “my thing” so: also cool.

I talk to myself daily and sometimes the words aren’t real.

I have an idiotic attachment and fascination with anything “zombie.” In true hipster fashion, I liked them before liking them was cool.

If your senses are sharp enough, before I approach someone to tell them off, I can be seen practicing behind them about 15 feet away.

I live alone because living with people is the worst.

As far as things that turn me on, I like guys who call me "dude," tall guys, short guys, guys with priorities. I like guys who are interesting, have opinions and passions. I like guys who read too much and watch too much TV and play video games.
What I’m doing with my life
Don’t overthink this one; tell us what you’re doing day-to-day.
Paying Netflix to suck it away for a nominal monthly fee.
I’m really good at
Go on, brag a little (or a lot). We won’t judge.
Ordering superfluous and pointless things on Amazon.com

Remembering interesting details from otherwise generic & uninteresting conversations.
The first things people usually notice about me
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
They usually notice that I didn't write “you tell me” in this box here.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Help your potential matches find common interests.
I will read anything by Chuck Palahniuk even though I’ve genuinely disliked the past three or four books he’s put out. All of his characters are the same. I’ve read all of the A Song of Ice and Fire books that have been released. If that fucker would just hurry up and finish the series, that’d be great.
The Perks of Being a Wallflower
I Am Not Quite Myself These Days
Apathy and Other Small Victories
Fuckness
American Psycho

Pulp Fiction, Night of the Living Dead, 28 Days Later, Dawn of the Dead, Resident Evil series, American History X, Edward Scissorhands, Stoker, Snatch

The Walking Dead, The Game of Thrones, Dexter, Homeland, American Horror Story, LOST, 30 Rock, Buffy The Vampire Slayer, Boardwalk Empire, Family Guy, South Park, Futurama, Metalocalypse, King of the Hill, Heroes, True Blood, Girls, American Dad...

I’m all over the place with music. Depends on my mood.

And finally, food: I’ll try anything once, but I prefer to eat healthy.
The six things I could never do without
Think outside the box. Sometimes the little things can say a lot.
Literacy
Integrity
Humility
Honor
Chivalry
Catch Phrases
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Global warming, lunch, or your next vacation… it’s all fair game.
When you go to Chinese Take-Out places, everyone is always Chinese. Is that, like a requirement or something? Is that legal?

Also, they never answer the phones normally. You call the place and you think you have the wrong number.

*Ring*
Them: “Herro.”
Me: “Uh, hello?”
Them: “What you want?”
On a typical Friday night I am
Netflix and takeout, or getting your party on — how do you let loose?
Working....

But I wish I was with you. :)
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
Two Things:
1. I always think I forgot to lock the door.
2. When people go underwater in movies, if you look over at me, you’ll see me holding my breath too.
I’m looking for
  • Guys who like guys
  • Ages 20–38
  • Near me
  • For new friends, long-term dating, short-term dating, casual sex
You should message me if
Offer a few tips to help matches win you over.
If you like bizarre hypothetical questions.