Write a little about yourself. Just a paragraph will do.
I am a bastard out of Carolina if you will, the son of an abortion
bombing southern snake handling Pentecostal minister and a teenage
mother who disappeared years ago.
No longer willing to stand the nightly drunken beatings, one night
I just ran away on a bus destined for some place better.
Cast into the hell we call New York at 14, I was a virgin at the
time, homeless, broke, and sleeping in a subway bathroom....
The 1980's was a crazy time in New York, let me tell you.... I made
money .... the only way I could - by turning tricks for straight
men in the Village – mostly ethnic guys who might appreciate my
fine Caucasian features;
I spent some time living in the Red Hook housing projects, where I
learned to steer a cocaine laden submarine up underneath the
Atlantic Ocean for a Colombian drug kingpin, "Encontrar Muerte
I made a few fast friends, mostly artists and other outcasts.
Jammin to Chris De Burgh remixes, we partied with drag queens like
Mr. Gogo at clubs like Studio 54 all night....
Entering the 1990's, slowly but surely I saved the money from my
The train tracks riddling my muscular forearms from rampant heroin
injections faded and I was able to don a business suit.
With hard work, I was admitted to Harvard Business school, a
prestigious place where they teach you how to type formulas into
Microsoft Excel. After a short stint as an analyst in corporate
actions, I began designing trading systems.
In the decade of parabolic dot com booms...I found a few secrets
about Gaussian distributions that I must admit were the key to
opening a billion dollar behemoth hedge fund, with performance the
envy of CNBC analysts.
What I’m doing with my life
Don’t overthink this one; tell us what you’re doing day-to-day.
A lot of nothing....in 2015
I am mostly retired and just wasting time doing jack sht...
Nowadays, mundane nights are spent hobnobbing with Upper East Side
upper crust socialites such as Tinsley Mortimer and other pretty
young Manolo Blahnik-wearing white girls, owners of the most
pompous money-losing high end fashion boutiques.
My friends include the worst sorts of beluga whale caviar snorting
graduates of private schools; over-privileged investment banking
douchebags; if you will, waspy mcWASPsters wearing RayBan
sunglasses and walking pugs through Central Park.
For weekend nights myself and my friends might attend a black tie,
purple-carpeted charity event with dapper, half-caring snoots in
the name of saving some endangered Artic Snow Owl on the outskirts
of some tough-as-nails Siberian logging town I highly guarantee
none of us will split a cord of wood in.
On Sunday afternoons I sometimes pay a visit to a spiritual life
coach, where I occasionally spot a B list movie star coming from a
hoity toity 5th Avenue building staffed with a doorman wearing
white gloves and a gray top coat;
Walking on the streets of the most pompous borough of Manhattan.
Welcome to my life in New York.
I’m really good at
Go on, brag a little (or a lot). We won’t judge.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Help your potential matches find common interests.
The six things I could never do without
Think outside the box. Sometimes the little things can say a lot.
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Global warming, lunch, or your next vacation… it’s all fair game.
On a typical Friday night I am
Netflix and takeout, or getting your party on — how do you let loose?
You should message me if
Offer a few tips to help matches win you over.
If you love me - I promise i wont kill you.
Who are you looking for?
This helps us know who to show you on OkCupid.