Write a little about yourself. Just a paragraph will do.
Now the Spirit expressly says that in later times some will
depart from the faith by devoting themselves to deceitful
characters and the teachings of demons.
I am a bastard out of Carolina if you will, the son of an abortion
bombing, southern, snake-handling street preacher and a teenage
mother who disappeared years ago...
No longer willing to stand the nightly drunken beatings, one night
I just ran away on a bus destined for some place better...
Born a sinner and cast into the hell we call New York at 14, I was
a virgin at the time, broke, and sleeping in the back of a burned
out 1979 Cutlass Ciera parked near the Hunts Point Terminal in the
The 1980's was a crazy time in New York, let me tell you. I made
money the only way I could - by turning tricks for straight men in
the Village – mostly muscular ethnic guys who might appreciate my
fine Caucasian features...
I spent some time living in the Red Hook housing projects, where I
learned to steer a cocaine-laden submarine up underneath the
Atlantic Ocean for a Colombian drug kingpin, "Encontrar Muerte
I was surprised to discover the kingpin, Mr. Sosa has a pretty cool
petting zoo filled with animals like rhinos, almost as cool as
fashion forward Libyan military commander Muammar Gaddafi's
giraffes, but not quite -because you see for my top mentor, it's
all about the blue tongues, baby, blue tongues.
Back in New York, I made a few fast friends, mostly artists and
other outcasts. Jammin to Rick Astley British pop remixes, we
partied with drag queens like Mr. Gogo at clubs like Studio 54 all
Entering the 1990's, slowly but surely I saved the money from my
tricks.. the train tracks riddling my muscular forearms from
rampant heroin injections faded and I was able to don a business
With hard work, I was admitted to Harvard Business school, a
prestigious place where they teach you how to type formulas into
Microsoft Excel. After a short stint as an analyst in corporate
actions, I began designing trading systems....
In the decade of parabolic dot com booms and wear your pants
azz-backwards hip hop videos..... I found a few secrets about
Gaussian distributions that I must admit were the key to opening a
billion dollar behemoth hedge fund, with performance the envy of
What I’m doing with my life
Don’t overthink this one; tell us what you’re doing day-to-day.
Just enjoying it...I retired in 2014. My coworkers were nice enough
to throw an opulent going away party featuring fire tossing
acrobats and topless Estonian cocktail waitresses with shiny, gold
decorations dangling from their t*ts...
Nowadays, mundane nights are spent hobnobbing with Upper East Side
upper crust socialites such as Tinsley Mortimer and other pretty
young Manolo Blahnik-wearing white girls, owners of the most
pompous money-losing high end fashion boutiques....
My friends include the worst sorts of beluga whale caviar snorting
graduates of private schools; investment banking guys with tiny
little p*nises driving Maseratis down Park Avenue and galloping
beautiful and brutish Arabian stallions across the cordgrass
covered sand dunes of Amagansett....
For weekend nights myself and my entourage might attend a black
tie, purple-carpeted charity event with dapper, half-caring snoots
in the name of saving some endangered Artic Snow Owl on the
outskirts of some tough-as-nails Siberian logging town I highly
guarantee none of us will ever split a cord of wood in....
On Sunday afternoons I normally pay a visit to a spiritual life
coach, where I occasionally spot a B list movie star coming from a
hoity toity 5th Avenue building staffed with a doorman wearing
white gloves and a gray top coat...
Walking on the streets of the most pompous borough of Manhattan.
Welcome to my life in New York... detatched, empty, Evil...
I’m really good at
Go on, brag a little (or a lot). We won’t judge.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Help your potential matches find common interests.
The six things I could never do without
Think outside the box. Sometimes the little things can say a lot.
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Global warming, lunch, or your next vacation… it’s all fair game.
On a typical Friday night I am
Netflix and takeout, or getting your party on — how do you let loose?
You should message me if
Offer a few tips to help matches win you over.
If you are beautiful... I won't kill you, promise!
Who are you looking for?
This helps us know who to show you on OkCupid.