Matthewstephan
46 Saugerties, NY
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Matthewstephan
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My self-summary
i would really like to start a connection with a woman(what kind remains to be determined;EVEN THOUGH my MOST PRESSING PRIORITY'S "SURVIVOR";i have a "traumatic brain injury";WAY BACK IN THE 20TH CENTURY(May 12,1994),i was WAITING TO TURN RIGHT ON my BICYCLE WHEN THAT FEMALE DRIVER RAN A YELLOW LIGHT& HIT me,PRIOR TO SLAMMING ON HER BRAKES SO i WENT THROUGH HER BLASPHEMY-RISKING WINDSHIELD PRIOR TO GETTING "INTIMATE" WITH ASPHALT...now,IF i had been wearing a helemt i MIGHT WELL HAVE AVOIDED THE PAST 18 YEARS OF "rehabiliation;but i WASN'T; SO HAVE HAD TO COME TO
GRIPS W/WHAT IT MEANS TO HAVE A T(RAUMATIC)B(RAIN)
I(NJURY)...i AM CAPABLE OF walking with a "walker";yet a "wheelchair" is ALWAYS A MAJOR PART OF my life...
it IS CRUCIAL TO BRING UP THE FACT THAT WHEN my FIRST life
ENDED,i WAS DOING my "DAY JOB" OF MEDICAL TRANSCRIPTION; my "nights" were reserved for PERFORMING my AND OTHERS'musical compositions...(i am a pianist)
Now,EVEN THOUGH my MOST MAIN FOCUS' GETTING AS FAR FROM THE "FEEDING TUBE/DIAPER"OF my COMA MONTHS(May 12-Auig. 25th,1994)AS IS POSSIBLE FOR somaone WITH "BRAIN DAMAGE",i AM BEGINNING TO compose again!!
(this' EXCLUSIVELY DUE TO my RAPTURE OF BEING FIIIIINALLY
FREE OF AN "INSTUTUTION" TO my VERY OWN APT.!!;GRANTED,
THERE ARE CONSTANT(GLORIFIED)"BABYSITTERS"PRESENT BUT i CHOSE THE "CARE AGENCY" i did @ the END OF my "DAMNATION"IN INSTITUTIONAL PURGATORY {BE}CAUSE they BROUGHT UP THE POSSIBILITY OF GIVING me{"us"?}
PRIVACY...
What i'm hoping for(on the OFF CHANCE i CAN CONVINCE/CAJOLE any woman to SEE BEYOND my PERMANENT HANDICAP & begin(*@ LEAST A "friendship"!)with me;EVEN THOUGH my HOPE OF HOPES' TO FIND someone TO ERADICATE
WHAT HAS felt like my MOST "LIKELY"PATH;"DIRTY OLD man"...
(i'm 43;my FIRST SHOT ENDED WHEN i WAS 25...)
What I’m doing with my life
although IN GENERAL WHAT i'M DOING'S BEING A "SURVIVOR"
(putting myself in PHYSICAL THERAPY FOR AS MANY MONTHS @ A time AS MEDICAID WILL ALLOW)i'M ALSO RETURNING TO BEING creative!;during my FIRST life,i peerformed my compositions w/a group of colleagues(although my "major "@ the Oberlin conservatory was "jazz piano",i AM AWARE THAT THE "JAZZ" MEDIUM HAS DIED THE DEATH OF THE "ARTFUCK";fitting then, that
AM NOWHERE NEAR AN "IMPROVISING" musician anymore;
RATHER,1 WHO DEMANDS years(MOST LIKELY ONLY MONTHS NOW THAT HAVE BEEN "REDEEMED" FROM INSTITUTIONAL PURGATORY)
OF self-PRESCRIBED "therapy" to ENABLE my INJURED BRAIN TO SEND THE CORRECT MESSAGES TO my body TO "EXECUTE" my thoughts(/SHUDDER!)feelings...-i DO HAVE SOME dreams of RETURNING TO PERFORMING;my schoolmate is NOW IN THE PROCESS OF BEING A PROFESSIONAL musician!;& we HAVE DISCUSSED our FUTURE COLLABORATIONS!
In terms of any "connection" possibilities with a woman
(QUASI-SURPRISING SEEING AS IT WAS A CLUELESS BITCH WHO RAN THAT YELLOW LIGHT & HIT me as i WAS WAITING TO TURN RIGHT),you NEED TO KNOW THAT i use a "walker" in public w/ my
"wheelchair"waiting RIGHT BEHIND THE FRONT DOOR FOR RETURN TO respect the fact that i NOW HAVE brain DAMAGE...
I’m really good at
"pushing the envelope" of my predictions(INITIAL PROGNOSIS WAS FOR PERMANENT VEGETABLE;THROUGH THESE 18(F...ING)
YEARS HAVE CLAWED my WAY UP THROUGH VARYING ENTREE ITEMS TO my CURRENT "CROUTON" STATUS;yet i CONTINUE TO "EVOLVE" ENOUGH THAT MEDICAID KEEPS PAYING FOR MOST THINGS...
The first things people usually notice about me
my green eyes;IN ADDITION TO my PERSEVERANCE IN MAKING THE PREVIOUSLY INSTINCTUAL "ESTIMATE-ABLE"...
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
i do get QUITE A BIT OUT OF e.e. Cummings;HAVEN'T BEEN reading enough in general;those with t(raumatic)b(rain)i(njury)
HAVE MASSIVE PROBLEM WITH "MEMORY/RETENTION" ISSUES...
that's something "we"could DO TOGETHER!(& "coach" each other!)
The six things I could never do without
a WHEELCHAIR(ONLY AFTER 2:27 PM);yet my "journals" ARE ALSO INDESPENSABLE...my father was a writing professor(he "shuffled off the mortal coil" recently;he ALWAYS SAID i was a "writer";have
been KEEPING CLOSE TRACK OF THIS FUTURE BAD MEMORY & HAVE INTENTIONS OF MAKING "PUBLICATIONS" OF (EDITED)
ENTRIES...
I spend a lot of time thinking about
how i COULD RECOVER FURTHER;thinking of someone ELSE BESIDES myself!
On a typical Friday night I am
respecting the fact that those with INJURED BRAINS GET EXHAUSTED DURING EVERY day;so watching news,eye CANDY UNTIL 9:00 then entering into THERAPEUTIC sleep!;
however,i HAVE BEEN UP (UN)TIL 11:00;WATCHING THE MOVIE i WAS IN BUT FORGOT ALL ABOUT MAKING (BE)CAUSE THIS "DEATH PREVIEW" HAPPENED WHILE MAKING IT...
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
that i HAVE A (2ND)lifeTIME HANDICAP(even though i'M BEYOND EAGER TO BE A "GUINEA PIG: FOR STEM CELL RESEARCH!
You should message me if
you'RE TRANSCENDENTALLY "UNDERSTANDING",you would like to get an UP-CLOSE PICTURE OF THE WORLD OF THE HANDICAPPED
& IF BY SOME CHANCE you would see it in yourself to become
connected with a man who IS IN THE PROCESS OF HAVING 2 lives!
(& a picture IS COMING!)
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