Right now, Im working on getting to Med school. Which is a long ways off still, unfortunately. having done no Math or Science since highschool, i've got a significant bit of work ahead before i can even apply. But the end seems undeniably worth it.
Ive dated only a couple of times, mostly cus i just wasnt in a mental place where I felt I could commit to a serious relationship, and partly because its rare for a guy to pique my interest in all the right ways. Pretty sure im mentally in the right place now, so we'll see what happens.
I keep glancing up at the heading of this section, and feeling this total mix of emotions: do I write more? do continue to "summarize myself?" Do I reject the idea of a self summery beyond the barest minimum necessary to get you interested? how much of what I'm trying to say can really only be effectively articulated in person, with extemporaneous hand gestures and body language.
theres an entire quirky, nerdy, board-game loving side of my personality that isn't really communicated through any of this so far...
One of the aspects of this application that really intrigues me is the section where you click, box by box, what you’re looking for. And it took me a ridiculously long time to recognize that what I'm actually looking for, in a direct sense, is not the love of my life. Not a relationship that’s going to last years, or pen pals, or whatever else it suggests. What I'm looking for in the immediate sense is truly an activity partner. Which sounds superficial and ridiculous, I know. It took a retarded number of walks home alone after making sure a friend got home safe to realize that I really want someone to walk home with. Or to the park with. Someone to go kayaking with, or end up “coincidentally reading different books at the same café, silently” with.
Having tried the “date and see if we’re life partners” shtick, I finally got that that’s not what I want, at least not from here. I don’t function well in that sort of situation. And while that may be what I'm looking for in the long run, I finally realized that the direct approach to that end is simply is not my style. So, if reading this as a potentially interested guy, I can only say to you that there’s nothing more charming than a message from a sexy guy saying “hey, I’ve been wanting to go check out “X,” but haven’t had anyone to go with. Feel like an adventure?” and if theres chemistry there’s chemistry.
(03/13)