Holiday 2013 - it was a year ago new years eve that I began a new profile. i decided with determination that I was going to date. What I am most grateful for here on OKCupid is an open platform that helped me articulate what it is that I am seeking. I needed dating to be purposeful - for the most part it wasn't, until this fall. I encourage you to utilize this space as a tool for you to sort and find that fit for you. Happy New Year!!
Oct 2013. just started seeing someone. he smiles a mile wide when he sees me. a great beginning. i find him sexy, fun, and very sweet. and he makes me smile a mile wide too!
They say I am wonderfully smart, playful, creative, dynamic, sexy, oh and that I mix well (I like that one). They also say that my libido is vibrant. Others say that I am quirky, intense and attention seeking - all in a good way, of course!! My full, curvy and hirsute figure are specific attributes that appeal to a certain kind of man. I welcome that interest.
scientific american once wrote an article about the eccentricities of the creative mind: “I don’t feel like a square peg trying to fit into a round hole. I feel like an octagonal peg with conical appendages.”
while my personal vocabulary is not that robust, the square peg in the round hole says it all
I came to OKCupid inspired by the fairy tale love story of two geeks. The bride and groom are now wed complete with wedding hashtag. She was someone i had just connected with re: social media. There was a huge cover story written about them in some magazine in Chicago. I hadn't heard the distinction of geeks in relationship to OKCupid but something about the article resonated with me. I realized that many geeks are really drawn to me, and that I, in my own way, am equally geeky. While i find this place - this online dating place - really really deplorable at times, occasionally there is a redeeming outreach that acknowledges the geek and/or the romantic in all of us!! It's what keeps me here.
I am seeking connection and involvement. To me, connection means spending quality time getting to know one another. I desire with every part of me involvement. I like that you have time for me and I value your vested interest. This means seeing each other on a regular basis vs something fleeting or one time.
Anyone can get laid - I am more substantial than that. I don't discount the need for physicality - at all - as a matter of fact, it's very important to me. I consider sex an integral part of what makes a complete connection work.
What about you? What are you seeking?
If you are married, have an extreme fetish for hair, or are 20 something, you are NOT interesting to me at all - please look elsewhere. Men who just want to "chat" may also look elsewhere. I feel chat is passive communication - i prefer something intentional.
I experience quite a bit of interest from a distance. While that is lovely, it really doesn't move my ideals forward. Long distance relationship takes patience and tenacity. The reality of long distance also means less time together. My preference, truth be, is to have you close by. If you are able to seriously manage something long distance, let's talk about it. I am open, but need a lot of convincing.
Do you consider yourself an intentional, attentive, and inquisitive man?? I ask, because those attributes are especially valuable to me...
let me tell you what i mean:
Intent: a strong desire to respectfully befriend and get to know me. I will return the intent. Note: a desire just to fuck doesn't count. a desire to meet and "we'll see" also doesn't count. while i get there has to be chemistry and all. the "we'll see" leaves me with a we'll see if she's worth the effort message. i am worth every ounce of effort.
Attentive: pay attention to me, understand my nuances, see what makes me tick, observe what makes me purr. Pay attention to how I pay attention to you, how I make you feel, how I turn you on. Be mindful to call, email, text, or what I refer to as common courtesy. ( seemingly a lost art ) Ask me when you can see me again - stuff like that, pay attention.
Inquisitive: I didn't come to this age without some life experiences to share, should you be curious about what makes me who I am and who I continue to become well, I'd enjoy that inquiry tremendously. I will have that same curiosity about you.
If you feel you answer yes to the above. show me. and i mean this - it's a test. not kidding. the above three things are a real barometer for me.
i am a mother of two young adults. they are adventurous, passionate, creative and unique, much like their mom - i raised them to be independent and to strive to be and do what they love. Parenting was that "something in my gut thing" that i trusted with every part of me. loved that. my in the trenches parenting chapter is behind me. At the moment i am wanting some attention for me. i know for many that family is very very important. I don't discount that. I am interested in the man of that equation. not the man and all that comes with him. does that make sense? this begins with him.
Momentary rant - Why do some men say that women complicate their lives? Are men not here seeking a woman? I am thinking involvement would be deliciously complicated. I am all for messing it up! A man once said to me "it's easier to masturbate then to get involved" not specifically about getting involved with me - but more in general. He said dating is too much drama and complicated. Do you feel that way?? Well, snap out of it! If you live for ordinary you're missing out! We are here to date, meet and or expand our experiences with one another. When a man says he wants no drama it makes me think geeeesh what planet is he living on?
Full disclosure: I have genital herpes. Expressing this detail upfront moves a very difficult conversation forward from the start. I feel my role is to inform. Your role is to get yourself educated and decide what that means for you. Please don't ask me for Herpes 101 lessons. I am allergic to all barrier protection. Barriers are not up for discussion either. The reaction to condoms is worse than an outbreak. I know that stating this detail in my profile is pretty kerplunky. What I also know is that getting to know and like someone, only to tell them and then have that person run, is worse. Herpes does not make or break a person. It is very common, annoying and can mess with someone's head. It took me some time to be with my diagnosis. It took me a longer time to speak it. And it took me an even longer time to post about it openly in a place like this. It's been truly liberating to share about it. Thank you to those of you who have acknowledged my candor. I wish more people were honest about tough conversations like STD's. I would be rich for all the comments I get that say they have herpes too and yet it's not listed in their profile. Imagine a world with honesty. When was the last time you were tested for STD's?
I often shift zipcodes in my profile so as to work a different dating demographic. be sure to simply ask where I live. I am happy to tell you.
If you got to the bottom of all of this - wow - that's really cool - i realize it's a bit of a mouthful. thank you.