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58 Kīhei, HI Man


I’m looking for

  • Women
  • Ages 18–99
  • Near me
  • For new friends, long-term dating, short-term dating

My Details

Last Online
Today – 12:56am
Hispanic / Latin, White, Other
5′ 9″ (1.75m)
Body Type
Mostly anything
Not at all
Agnosticism, and very serious about it
Libra, but it doesn’t matter
Graduated from university
Science / Engineering
English (Fluently), Hawaiian (Poorly), Spanish (Poorly), French (Poorly), LISP (Okay)

Similar Users

My self-summary
Write a little about yourself. Just a paragraph will do.

< TL;DR >

You're awesome. I'm awesome. I know it hardly seems possible, but if we complement each other the right way, joining forces could bring forth a new level of hitherto unseen synergistic ultra-hyper-trans-awsomeness.

And fun. Much, much fun.

Maybe we should meet, and redefine awesomeness. And fun.

< /TL;DR >

I'll be taking a shift caring for my aged mother in Woodside, NY from 3/20 through 5/20. Much of the time I'll be a virtual prisoner, because my mother can't be left alone, and there'll be nobody to relieve me on a regular basis.

It would be really nice to make a new friend or two for some real live companionship and adventure in those rare moments when I can get away. If you see something in my profile that piques your interest, perhaps you'd consider building an online or telephone friendship together so we'll actually know each other a little bit should an opportunity for a get together suddenly appear.

Yeah, I know it's weird, but that's the way life is sometimes: weird.


Aloha kāua! Thanks for visiting my profile.

I make my home in Kihei on the beautiful island of Maui, but recently I've been dividing my time between Hawai'i and my native NYC, taking shifts caring for my aged mother in my boyhood home.

I'm looking for a life partner who has a deep sense of personal integrity, and is something of a math, science, and computer geek. I'm also open to befriending or dating you if you have these qualities, but you aren't interested in that level of involvement. And I would consider partnership in a high-integrity, closed, mutually committed MFF triad where I could get my intellectual, intimacy, and sexual needs met with both partners, but that is not a situation I am actively seeking.

The example given to illustrate the definition of sapiosexuality on pretty much sums it up for me:i we mesh the right way.

"Me? I don't care too much about the looks. I want an incisive, inquisitive, insightful, irreverent mind. I want someone for whom philosophical discussion is foreplay. I want someone who sometimes makes me go 'Ouch!' due to their wit and evil sense of humor. I want someone that I can reach out and touch randomly. I want someone I can cuddle with. I decided this all means that I am sapiosexual."

I offer what I seek.

About Me

I am a complex superposition of the ordinary and the unique. I am decidedly quirky, yet mostly harmless. Many have remembered me upon meeting again long years after a single brief introduction, but like any other acquired taste it takes time and experience to develop a full appreciation for some of my finer qualities.

My interests and talents form a constellation which places me squarely in the geekier regions of the nerd-jock continuum; my computers run Ubuntu and my devices are Android.

Politics are important to me, and I am an activist for progressive societal change. I lend moral and, where I can, material support to what I believe to be the primary mission of each human person: to grow towards his or her own full potential, and to help others to do the same. I believe that the spirit of service without expectation of reward is the road to nirvana. I hold myself, my intimates, and all those with whom I choose to associate to a high standard of personal integrity, yet I recognize that we all make mistakes and come from different places, so progress, rather than perfection, forms the yardstick by which I measure myself and others.

I banished the phrase "the opposite sex" from my thought and speech quite some years ago, replacing it with "the complementary sex". This simple shift in one word radically improved my relationships with women in every context, and revolutionized my entire perspective on human sexuality.

I am a highly social and sexual person, who tends to care about others deeply and permanently. I need friends, lovers, and - most especially - friends who are lovers, and I regard all three - friendship, love, and sex - as important synergic, yet distinct, needs.

Why Am I Here?

I have numerous acquaintances; I am blessed with more tried and true friends than I can count with all the digits on every limb; and have had my share of lovers passionate, affectionate, and tender; yet the rich intimacy of a full partnership which I fear, need, and crave down to the very depths of my being continues to elude and tantalize me.

Ultimately I would like to co-create, build, treasure, and nurture a lifelong, love-drenched, committed partnership with a special woman. My long-term goal is to delete this profile.

About You

Apart from your general intellectual prowess, other things about you that I most appreciate are: your uncompromising sense of personal integrity; your ability and willingness to communicate directly and clearly, especially when I'm clueless; your commitment to improve yourself and the world around you in whichever ways you deem important; your level of science/math/computer geekiness; your habitual and almost compulsive creativity with sound, words, images, and ideas; your general playfulness; your honesty, courage, generosity, patience, fortitude, gentleness, and kindness; your ability to be vulnerable with me; your affectionate nature; the way we complement each other and shelter each other from life's inevitable passing storms; the way it feels as if the contours of your body were custom-made to fit mine when I put my arms around you; our sexual chemistry and compatibility; the way we love and respect each other.

Looks are somewhat important to me, and there definitely are certain distinct appearance "types" who easily arouse my interest in a reflexive sort of way, but it takes a very special woman to hold my attention; and if you are she, I will grow to see you as more and more stunningly beautiful the longer you stick around, no matter how you might appear to others.

About Our Relationship

My relations with others are built on a framework of freely negotiated agreements, which are always open to renegotiation, but unilateral abrogation will make me walk away. If you wish to get close to me on any level, I will insist we practice openness, radical truth-telling, and taking responsibility for our words and actions. I try to practice these principles in all my areas of my life.

What I’m doing with my life
Don’t overthink this one; tell us what you’re doing day-to-day.

Living it, most of the time with a smile on my face and the song of gratitude resounding in my heart, and at every moment completely blown away by the beauty and wonder of it all.

At this moment I'm much more a be-er than a do-er. My mode has shifted back and forth several times over my lifetime, and I expect this oscillation to continue.

I don't have a regular job or career, owing to a cognitive difference I acquired as a result of an illness that really makes it pretty much impossible for me to live that way; I'll be happy to tell you about it, should you inquire.

I devote most of my time to trying to achieve a deep understanding of this glorious universe in about which I feel so privileged to live, contemplate, and enjoy; assisting others by freely sharing the benefit of my personal experiences where helpful; serving my community as a volunteer activist around certain matters of social justice; and cultivating my personal relationships, as I have decided that my friends are truly my most precious treasures. My taste for exploration, (low risk) adventure, and travel has widened my circle of friends to the point where it seems I know someone in almost every corner of the globe.

I recently saw the Bohemian Gravity video (highly recommended), and realized that I didn't understand everything in it, so I'm taking some time to teach myself quantum field theory and string theory to fill in the gaps in my understanding.

In the same vein, I just started reading an introductory molecular biology text, because my understanding of how that stuff works is a good 25 years old and we've learned a lot since then.
I’m really good at
Go on, brag a little (or a lot). We won’t judge.

* Volleying banter (when inspired).

* Seeing the big picture while taking the details into account.

* Leaping from one thought to the next, while skipping over a whole chain of intermediaries, yet keeping the connection visible to others.

* Intuiting and adapting your learning style, unless you're my mother, or you're primarily tactile.

* Extemporaneously breaking down and explaining complex ideas in physics, math, electrical engineering, and computer science in ways that just about anybody can understand, without sacrificing too much rigor. (Unless you're my mom, and it has anything to do with computers or electronics).

* Playing tour guide, especially here on Maui and in New York City, where I was born and raised and resided for most of my life.

* Caring about people.

* Letting you know what I really think and feel.

* Being a good host to my house guests.

* Seeing so many different ways to categorize a collection that it becomes difficult to pick an organizing principle and stick with it.

* Instantly destroying any semblance of order in my surroundings without ever being aware that is what is happening.

* Failing to perceive articles that are directly in front of me.

* Having very important stuff you tell me seem to go in one ear and right out the other.

* Storing and retrieving lots and lots of math/science/language trivia. This capacity actually turning out to be useful on occasion.

* Wresting computers into submission. Unless the've been demoniocally posesses by that Winblows load of crap.

* Using words as playthings, and other forms of recreational linguistics.


* Growing just a tiny little bit more each day into the person I truly want to be.

* Making metaphorical lemonade.

The first things people usually notice about me
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
My intelligence and my exceptionally well-endowed vocabulary. (I know it probably sounds immodest of me to say so, but it's true.)

I also have been told a number of times that my eyes are very attractive. I concur with this assessment.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Help your potential matches find common interests.
(this section is very ouy of date and badly needs updating)


One of my most prized possessions is the autographed copy of the first volume of The Feynman Lectures on Physics which I used in two semesters of weekly continuing education classes sponsored in-house by my then employer, and taught personally by none other than Professor Richard P. Feynman himself.

(After class each week, Feynman and I used to stroll a half-mile together to the bus stop where I caught my bus home, and he waited there with me for his own ride to come pick him up. Due to this accident of circumstance we struck up something of a small friendship, and almost every Wednesday night we enjoyed 45 minute chats spanning an expansive array of subjects. I have never for even one moment since stopped being grateful for this unique and rare gift which Fate's caprice chose to bestow upon me. As OKC doesn't really have a "Bragging Rights" section, I thought this might be the most appropriate place in which to mention my great good fortune.)

As to other books:

I've been struggling with some of the more advanced mathematics in Sir Roger Penrose's The Road to Reality: A Complete Guide to the Laws of the Universe for quite some while now, and each time my mind grasps a new idea it gives me tremendous pleasure. I would love to share, study, and discuss this book with you.

My very favorite literary writing is found in a novel called Winter's Tale by Mark Helprin. Helprin's descriptions are so sensually vivid that even now as I sit in my home on tropical Maui, I can taste and feel the ozone-sharpend crisp winter winds and hear the crackly crunch of men treading on virgin snow, though I last read this book some 20 years ago. I'm looking forward to the movie set scheduled for release next Valentines Day. [That turned out to be a huge disappointment. I can't believe they made such amediocr film from such a great book.]

Some of my other favorite books are: Centering and the Art of Intimacy and Conscious Loving, both by the husband-and-wife Ph.D. psychologist team of Drs. Gay Hendricks and Kathlyn Hendricks; Shakti Gawain's Creative Visualization, which helped me discover that I wanted to relocate to Maui and taught me how to manifest the home in which I now live; The Richest Man in Babylon by George S. Clason; How to Meditate: A Guide to Self-Discovery by Lawrence LeShan; Kundalini Yoga for Body, Mind, and, Beyond by Ravi Singh; Fundamental Algorithms and Semi-Numerical Algorithms by Donald E. Knuth. (Yes, I am a geeknerdork.)

Hawaiiana: Nana i ke Kumu ("Look to the Source") - a work about Hawaiian culture, traditions, and language, intended to explain these things to clinical practitioners, and E Kama'ili Hawai'i Kakou ("Let's Speak Hawaiian"). OKC doesn't let me write these names properly, as it won't render the 'okina and the kahako-marked vowels used in correctly writing 'Olelo Hawai'i (Hawaiian language).

Even though I'm a devout agnostic, I enjoy reading the Bible as well as the sacred literature of other traditions, not only for inspiration and as a treasury of wisdom, but also because many of these stories are literary gems, and some of the taller tales simply kick ass!

I have other favorites including one that are too private to be mentioned here.


I passionately enjoy many genres of music... British invasion, 60s rock, psychedelic movement, classic rock, punk, new wave, what used to be called alternative, 80s garage bands, surf sound, and own around 2000 CDs. (Yeah, I'm old school that way and I've even got some vinyl lying around.) Nonetheless I would be perfectly content were I were forced to spend the rest of my life listening to nothing but the Cocteau Twins.

On second thought, that would be torture without some Clash and Eno for balance.

Still, I will try to list particular favorites as they come to me:

Abba (Hey, I've been to Sweden, what can I tell ya?); The Allman Brothers Band; The Beatles; George Benson; David Bowie: Heroes; The Clash; Cocteau Twins; Depeche Mode; Bob Dylan; Echo and the Bunnymen; Brian Eno: Taking Tiger Mountain by Strategy, Before and after Science; The Grateful Dead; Jefferson Airplane; Jimi Hendrix; Jorma Kaukonen; Joy Division; Kraftwerk: Neonlicht; Richard Lloyd; New Order; The Rolling Stones; 10,000 Maniacs; Television: Marquee Moon; The Who; X; The Zombies


I actually don't own a TV, but there a number of things I watch via the internet from time to time. Basically, I like comedy, documentaries, science and nature shows, shows about history, science fiction (more properly, science fantasy; stories violating the laws of nature in obvious ways tend to irritate me), detective mysteries and news and current events programs - the kinds of things on PBS, The Comedy Channel and the SyFy Channel.

Favorite shows: BattleStar Galactica (Reimagined), Caprica,the entire Star Trek franchise except the last one, V (reimagined(The X-Files, The Daily Show,,South Park, The Simpsons, Futurama, and most Britcoms especially Monty Python's Flying Circus>/i>, Keeping Up Appearances, and As Time Goes By. I'm also a fan of detective shows such as the CSI franchise (and am still in mourning over th the passing of CSI Miami) and the Detective Lindley Mysteries. I loved the old cult favorite The Prisoner\er, with Patrick McGoohan. I never got into Doctor Who and I know that I really should.

There are two made for TV Sci-Fi mini-serieses that I think are among the best Sci-Fi ever made: Taken and The Battlestar Galactica (reimagined)


I don't go often enough, and I don't like renting.

Classic favorites: THX1138, original Star Wars, Hitchcock's The Birds, Friends (1971), Them (giant ants with a taste for manflesh lurking in the sewer that is... I mean, the sewers under L.A.), Slacker

Cult Classics: The Rocky Horror Picture Show, Harold & Maude.

Favorites of the past few years (desperately needs updating!): Aeon Flux, The Constant Gardiner, Blood Diamond, US vs John Lennon, Venus, I Heart Huckabees, Cave of the Yellow Dog, The Producers, Memoirs of a Geisha, Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy, Motorcycle Diaries.

Most dreamily erotic love scene of all time: Flourescent cave scene in Gas, Food & Lodging, an otherwise completely tedious film.

Worst picture ever: Frogs. I'd challange you to a turkey shoot, but I'm not sure I'd survive another sitting.

I was both blessed and cursed with a mother who is a phenomenal cook. Nothing else on earth or in heaven quite measures up to Mom's arroz con gondules.

Having said that, I enjoy a wide variety of world cuisines, and I like to try new and exotic foods.

I also make a mean ginger/brown sugar/mixed berries pancake syrup. (Ginger is definitely my favorite flavor.) Mmmm. Yummy!


I like snorkeling. A lot. OK, I know it's not a book, movie, music or food, but it is way better that all those things combined. At least I think so. For me it is exercise, meditation, and wonder all rolled into one.

The six things I could never do without
Think outside the box. Sometimes the little things can say a lot.
1: the love and support of lovers, family, and friends

2: the intimate window into the nature of reality provided by a facile command of the methodology and tools of science and math

3: music, and other fine arts

4: the beautiful Hawai‘i archipelago, where I make my home

5: copious quantities of delicious beverages infused with concentrations of 3,7-dihydro-1,3,7-trimethyl-1H-purine-2,6-dione­​ sufficient to sustain life as we know it

6: (this space reserved for future expansion.)
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Global warming, lunch, or your next vacation… it’s all fair game.
The sheer improbability that this particular collection of field excitation quanta, each having made its own 13.8 billion year journey across the vastness of space time from the beginning of all that is to here and now over so very many different independent paths, should have found each other and found a way to organize themselves into an assembly capable of contemplating that wonder with transcendent gratitude.

When will I again be loved by a woman who makes my heart explode with joy and gratitude each and every time I am merely reminded of her existence?

Why 80% of the matches OKC thinks should be highly compatible with me are bisexual women less than half my age.

What percentage of them would agree with the matching algorithm's assessment.

Would "who" or "whom" have been correct three sentences above?

The deep meaning of the double slit experiment:

I've also been thinking a lot about dark energy and dark matter, what implications they have for our understanding of the cosmos.:Science has been in this place so many times before, thinking that we were just about to put a a pretty ribbon on a things and say we understood how everything works.

Just a few years ago it was thought that "all" we had to do now would be to unify general relativity with the standard model of particle physics, and it would be a wrap, but now we have substantial evidence that we can only see about 5% of all we there is in the observable universe and most of the rest is a complete mystery. There isn't much consensus on the parts which could be explained with the physics we do understand, and I'm excited at the prospect we could be on the verge of physics as profound as the one that ushered in relativity and quantum theory.

What exactly did happen in that first 10^-36 seconds?

Life & Death & Love & Sex.

Mystery & Gratitude.

If there is a God or gods, what a phenomenally effein' great idea he/she/it/they had in creating women. (Yes, I'm agnostic, but I don't think about all that much.)

The nature of consciousness, and how to whip up a batch in the kitchen.

What makes me tick.


My part in things.

How I may be of service.

The miracle of language, and how truly mindblowing it is that we can share our thoughts with each other.

How the universe works.

The glass being twice as big as it needs to be.

The beauty of it all.
On a typical Friday night I am
Netflix and takeout, or getting your party on — how do you let loose?
savoring every moment.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
I have never seen an episode of Lost, Game of Thrones, Downton Abbey, Breaking Bad, D̶e̶x̶t̶e̶r̶, or The Walking Dead.

Here are some things that may be dealbreakers for you. I figure it's best to put them out in the open so neither of us will waste time or energy, or experience a completely avoidable disappointment:

I have a serious, incurable, chronic autoimmune disorder (Behcet's disease) which at times can be quite debilitating. It keeps me from working at a normal job and also negatively affects my memory, attention, and concentration in ways that make it hard for me to keep order in my surroundings and to be completely autonomous and independent in my self care.

Although I can drive, I realy, really hate doing so, and I will do just about anything to avoid it. I've never owned a car apart from one I briefly acquired to give as a gift.

I was raised in a violent and emotionally abusive environment, and although I have done a lot of work to overcome the aftermath of that history, certain things still can trigger me into flashbacks of difficut memories.

I am consdiderably overweight, but damned sexy nonetheless.

I do not drink alcohol nor do I use other recreational drugs of any kind, other than caffene.
You should message me if
Offer a few tips to help matches win you over.

You so desire.

If you would like to have an extended conversation with me, I would like to move to using the telephone just as soon as you are comfortable with that idea; The length of this profile belies the fact that I really dislike typing.

If you think we might be a good match, you should be aware that I have a strong preference both to stay here on Maui and in the apartment I currently own, and that I have found that my love relationships are more harmonious when my partner and I maintain separate homes, but spend most nights together.

And now, a Joke:

Richard Feynman, Erwin Schrödinger, and Werrner Heisenberg set off on a cross-country road trip. Feynman is at the wheel with Heisenberg navigating, head buried in a map, when the police signal them to pull over.

An officer approaches and asks: "Do you know why I stopped you?", to which Feynman replies "Well, officer, I know it wasn't for speeding because I've been observing very carefully, and my measurements tell me that I've been going exactly the speed limit plus or minus..." at which point Heisenberg elbows Feynman sharply and says, "Dick, don't let me hear that, or we'll be hopelessly lost!"

The officer senses he is dealing with eccentrics, so pays little mind to this strange remark. He continues: "No, you haven't been speeding, but I've been following you for a while and you keep weaving back and forth. You're all over the road and you're not staying in your lane." Feynman replies: "Of course I'm all over the road! How else am I supposed to get from point A to point B except by taking every possible path in between? And you say I wasn't staying in my lane: Which lane wasn't I staying in, and how can you say with such certainty that I wasn't there if you didn't see me not there?"

By this time the officer has had enough and says: "That's it! I don't know what you guys are on, but I'm gonna search the car, and if I find anything, I'm taking you all in." With that, he opens the trunk and says, "You're all under arrest!" When they protest that they've done nothing wrong the officer replies: "You can't tell me you didn't know there was a dead cat in your trunk!", to which Schrödinger replies, "Not until now."