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MaxTheCarpenter

29 Brooklyn, NY Man

Man

I’m looking for

  • Women
  • Ages 24–32
  • Near me
  • For new friends, long-term dating, short-term dating, casual sex

My Details

Last Online
Today – 9:10am
Orientation
Straight
Ethnicity
White
Height
3′ 11″ (1.20m)
Body Type
Used up
Diet
Strictly halal
Smokes
Yes
Drinks
Often
Drugs
Sometimes
Religion
Atheism, and laughing about it
Sign
Gemini, but it doesn’t matter
Education
Dropped out of university
Job
Construction
Income
$50,000–$60,000
Relationship Status
Single
Relationship Type
Offspring
Doesn’t have kids
Pets
Likes dogs
Speaks
English

Similar Users

My self-summary
Write a little about yourself. Just a paragraph will do.
It's hard to write something like this without being sarcastic, or trying too hard. I'll just do my best to be honest. I'm a guy who lives in Bushwick and makes furniture for a living. I enjoy my job very much. I'm told I have a good sense of humor and am good at making people laugh. I like whiskey, I play pool, I love movies. I love my mom, she's tough as fuck and could beat up your mom. Ultimately, I have no idea what I'm looking to get out of OKCupid. I'm open to anything but have no expectations to be met. I hope this reads fairly well, I'd really rather not write another.
What I’m doing with my life
Don’t overthink this one; tell us what you’re doing day-to-day.
Building things. It sounds sarcastic but really it isn't. I'm always trying to expand and improve my skill set. My dad once said to me "if you're the smartest person in the room, you're in the wrong place", and I really believe that to be true in more ways than one. I don't believe there's ever a point at which a person is done learning, and I've always got my eyes open for new lessons and opportunities. I feel like this got weirdly introspective... Did it ? Whatever, also watching futurama.
I’m really good at
Go on, brag a little (or a lot). We won’t judge.
scrabble. high fives. Whiskey. For a time I was really good at losing my phone, wallet, and keys simultaneously. Talking shit for hours and hours, and witty come backs.
The first things people usually notice about me
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
That I have tattoos I guess, which is a bit of a drag honestly. I make inappropriate jokes. I have a really powerful handshake. I've been told that my personality makes me seem taller, which is a weird thing to hear. Kinda cool at the same time.
Also I have a beard now.
Scratch that, I don't anymore, I shaved. Wait, Now i have sideburns.
Aaaaand I have a Beard again.
Still have a beard. Significantly longer that it was when I wrote the previous sentence about having a beard.
Shaved it again, not even sideburns this time.
Now I have long hair. Weird.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Help your potential matches find common interests.
Books: World War Z, hot water music, the complete Japanese joinery, the life of a tree, Steve-O: professional idiot (don't judge it's actually an amazing read), kingdom of fear, bonk, and I'll read pretty much anyone's autobiography.

Music : bad brains, dead kennedys, Reagan youth, the weirdos, gen x, the Krays, youth brigade, dead boys, the clash, fugazi, minor threat, voodoo glow skulls, choking victim, kraut, the sword, high on fire, the distillers, emmure, the faceless, as blood runs black, we butter the bread with butter, hammer fall, iron maiden, GWAR, queens of the Stone Age, PRIMUS, necrophagist, born of Osiris, (old) red hot chilli peppers, lil Wayne, jay z, beastie boys, wu tang, immortal technique, dead prez, afrika bombaataa, missy Elliot, bone crusher, busts rhymes (flip mode UNGH), monstar, zomboy, knife party, joker, emalkay, klever, mix master mike, ry legit, Roy ayers, AI di meola, Andres Segovia, George thorogood, the coasters, the toasters, the specials, toots and the maytals. This list is largely incomplete, I just started firing them off from memory.

Movies: anything zombie related, anything with Christopher walken or don cheedle, seven was great, eraserhead, hotrod, goon, hell boy, comic book movies, artsy stuff.

I'm a total bagel snob. Pizza too.
The six things I could never do without
Think outside the box. Sometimes the little things can say a lot.
My headphones,
Jameson,
my tape measurer,
tattooing,
my zippo
my flask
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Global warming, lunch, or your next vacation… it’s all fair game.
Which thing I should put in which pocket.

What a bummer OKCupid is

What I'm going to do when I run out of space for tattoos

Power tools.

Disassembling and reassembling things.

Accidentally viewing your profile twice... almost feels like a game of minesweeper
On a typical Friday night I am
Netflix and takeout, or getting your party on — how do you let loose?
Throwin gang signs
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
One time on a family vacation I was arrested for graffiti at a fucking rock quarry.

Recently, I've committed myself to never using the delete key while on okcupid (with the exception of spelling errors). If my messages seem long winded, awkward, strange, or fragmented, this is the reason, and i apologize. My vernacular changes drastically between speaking and writing. Speaking involves a lot more swearing I think. Don't ask me why I did this, I just decided to.

I peed on your toilet seat.
But not really though. That just made me laugh.
You should message me if
Offer a few tips to help matches win you over.
I seem like a dude you'd wanna talk to.

If you share an enthusiasm for silly or weird tattoos.

You don't see tattooed dudes as some sort of novelty.

if you like hockey or robots.

You want to learn how to build things.

You play pool (optional).

Bags of money

Drinking whiskey