53 Daly City, CA
Join today
Find great matches with our advanced matching system!
Join today
Find great matches with our advanced matching system!
My self-summary
98% drama free.

Forget "out of the box" thinking. There is no box.

I look MUCH younger than my chronological age.. At my job, everyone thinks I am in my mid-30's.

Made gluten free brownies and they were delicious! Next up gluten free Blondie's with dried cherry bits (i don't have celiac disease.. I'm just experimenting with certain ingredients.)

I am one of those rare folks that actually grew up in SF. I'm not quite a native, as I was 3 months old when I arrived.. but close enough. Recently, had to move just a bit south of SF.

At first I may seem shy or too serious, but I'm actually very silly and playful. Some people think my life is quiet, while others think I'm totally outrageous. I guess It depends on who you ask
and how well they know me. :)

And yes, I am married. It is an open relationship. My wife is a wonderful gal, who knows I see other people. I don't hide it from her. I'm not looking to complicate anyone's life.

I'm looking for friendships. The day begins & ends with friendship. It is what sustains us through the ups and downs of life. Find common interests, or discover new ideas and places.

I think lies, deception and hidden agendas are toxic to any relationship.

I am provocative, playful, and eternally curious.
What I’m doing with my life
The food experiments continue:

Most recently, gluten free almond and chocolate biscotti

Molasses honeycomb (with or without bacon)
Orange Caramel
Strawberry Marshmallows
Gluten Free Brownies
Gummy candy
I’m really good at
Talking to anyone, about anything. I know about a lot of different things.. And I want to learn about those things I don't know. Let's talk.

I'm very good at helping folks be themselves when they are with me. I give them the space & encourage them to be who they really are.
The first things people usually notice about me
One of the first things people notice about me is my voice. It is unusually deep and resonant. It's so normal to me, that I kind of forget about. But if one of the things you like in a guy, is a deep rich voice, you'll like my voice.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Fifth Element
Big Lebowski
Matrix I
My Favorite Year
Zorro, The Gay Blade
League of Extraordinary Gentlemen

Archer (although the "Archer Vice" Season kinda sux, so far)
Justified & Wiseguy
The Good Wife & NYPD Blue
Daily Show & Colbert Report
Rachel Maddow & Chris Hayes
Survivorman & (Never) Finding Bigfoot
Burn Notice & Lilyhammer
Doc Martin & Reaper
Highlander & Star Trek, Next Gen
Frasier & Simpsons
Grey's Anatomy & House
Are you Being Served?

Music: Walk Off The Earth, Jim Carroll Band, They Might be Giants, Joan Armatrading, lately really getting into Lou Reed, enjoy a lot of 80's alt bands (Clash, Police, The Alarm, The Tubes, The Specials etc), John Mellencamp.

Read all the Tarzan books when I was a teen. Gave me a sense of the possible. And helped inspire a can-do attitude towards life.

I still read a lot of escapist fantasy sword & sorcery type novels. But love deep, serious discussions too.

Finally read Middlesex. Didn't really care for it. I have a journal post on why.
The six things I could never do without
humor, friends, irony, communication, pen-and-paper-RPGs, & Soylent Green
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Why are names Gendered? Why should it matter if a guy is named Grace, or gal is named George? Why should it matter?

Why should it matter if an adult wants to take masculinizing or feminizing hormones? If they have been told the risks and benefits, what the heck.

Why should anyone have to declare they have abandoned a gender?

I am delighted that Okcupid has added a much broader range of genders and orientations.

I wish I passed more often as Queer in day-to-day life. Instead most folks see me as undoubtedly straight and undoubtedly male. I'm not looking to change who I am or how I act.. I just wish I didn't have to explain again to folks, that yeah, I AM Queer.

I choose to affiliate myself with queer folk & queer
causes. Because they are human folk & human causes.

I can speak only for myself. I am Intersexed by Nature. I am Queer by Choice. Others may choose to use other terms to describe me. And that's fine.. I'm used to them being wrong.

Gender, Genderfuck, genderqueer, androgyny..
When people hear about Intersex, they sometimes know about ISNA (aka Intersex Society of North America). But they NEED to know about OII. OII = Organization International Intersex. OII are intersexed folk, from all over the world, that do not accept the use of "DSD" or "Disorders of Sex Development", as good or useful terminology for Intersexed folk. Not good or useful for Doctors of Intersexed folk. Not good or useful for parents of Intersexed folk. Not good or useful for anyone else who interacts with Intersexed folk. (One of my early journal posts goes into some detail on this.

** I'm fascinated by Cryptozoology in general & Bigfoot in particular. I call that popular show " Never Finding Bigfoot"
On a typical Friday night I am
Relaxing after work. But if not, I may well be at some spoken word event or helping out somewhere.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I am FAR more Limber than you might think...
You should message me if
If you see yourself as a bit off the beaten path. I like folks who see themselves as a dork. We have all struggled with that.. I think it's rather adorable.

I like folks with a bit or a lot of androgyny. Women that are tall, or strong (physical or personality) or masculine, or tomboys or loud or outspoken or otherwise challenge common assumptions about who women are supposed to be.

You have any questions about anything you think I might be able to address, please send me a note.

I love a good conversation even more. Let's see what we find in each other