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31 M Vancouver, British Columbia, CA

My Details

Last Online
Online now!
Middle Eastern, White
6′ 0″ (1.83m)
Body Type
A little extra
Strictly anything
Dropped out of space camp
Relationship Status
Relationship Type
Doesn’t want kids
Likes cats
English (Fluently), Afrikaans (Okay), Urdu (Poorly), Hebrew (Poorly)

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My self-summary
Incurable geek, information junkie, and space cadet.

I have a love/hate relationship with ambiguity, which would explain why I run hot and cold with the Oxford Comma.

I have a sense of humour that vacillates between 1950s corny and so far over the line that people threaten me with disownment. I also have chronic case of foot in mouth disease. If you think that some subjects shouldn't be joked about... we probably won't get along.

I play life on easy. I don't feel guilt over it, but like to check my privilege.

I'm a pretty active skeptic, I believe that people benefit when you challenge their irrational bullshit. It also lets me be argumentative in public. I think that Bill Maher is a crazypants, and gives the movement a bad name. We should do Skeptics in the Pub sometime.

Since, apparently, this is a dealbreaker for some of you granola types: I'm a futurist, and I'm deeply rooting for transhumanism to be a thing (upgrade complete!). I'm unlikely to buy food labelled "organic", and I'll be first in line to try vat-grown meat. I do think that Ray Kurzweil lands a bit on the crazy person side of the scale, though.
What I’m doing with my life
I'm a South African guy living in West Van (which, as it turns out, is where all the other South Africans live - mostly the kind that I cringe at being associated with. I live 2 blocks from work though, so it's a compromise I can live with)

I spend other people's money for a living. It's a pretty sweet gig when I don't think too hard about the profit I generate vs. how much I get paid.

Mocking slacktivists. If you don't really care, admit that you don't really care. The internet will have moved on to a new armchair cause in 6 weeks anyway.
I’m really good at
making puns. Particularly dirty ones. I'm a big fan of the intersection of humour that is awful because it's corny and awful because it's edgy. This is a pretty stellar example of what I'm talking about.
The first things people usually notice about me
I'm pretty unkempt. I have a slouch. I'm reasonably tall. I'm making an awkward joke (that might involve yelling). All of these are valid first impressions.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
I was tempted to just write "Bukowski is my fucking hero," but honestly, I think he was a pretty bad lay. You get all the bonus points if you get the double pun in that joke.

If you're not doing this (there's a link there, OkCupid app users), we'll probably get along.

I also like Michael Chabon, Bret Easton Ellis, Irvine Welsh, and many pulpy sci-fi and fantasy authors my inner snob would cringe at being forced to admit enjoying. I'm currently proselytizing the work of Minister Faust (ha ha! puns!) Seriously, his prose pwns.

I'm not nearly as picky about what I'll watch, compared to what I'll read. I like things that are bad, so I can point and laugh at them Mike Nelson style. I still watch MST3K for that very reason (and buy a fair number of RiffTrax.) I have a man-crush on Humphrey Bogart and Idris Elba.

Standouts (TV and Film), in no particular order: Bubba Ho-Tep, Babylon 5, A Serbian Film, Casablanca, Game of Thrones, Young Justice (Anything Greg Weisman worked on is good), Star Trek, District 9, Pacific Rim.

Chronicle is the best superhero movie you haven't watched.

I'm a gamer. I play Magic: The Gathering, RPGs - think Dungeons & Dragons or Call of Cthulhu, assorted boardgames (favourites being Dominion, Talisman, Cosmic Encounters etc.), and many, many video games. You don't have to enjoy gaming, but it'd be nice.

I'm also one of the few people you've ever met who is NOT homeless, because of World of Warcraft (although I'm currently not playing). That is to say it actively prevented my homelessness.

I like my music like I like my movies - narrated by Christopher Lee.
The six things I could never do without
Thing 1
Thing 2
Red Fish
Blue Fish
Green Eggs
Green Ham
I spend a lot of time thinking about
independence. how independence relates to the social contract. what I have to do to selectively opt out of the above. pie. how to better my organizational profit to personal profit ratio. why people choose traditional life structures.
On a typical Friday night I am
slaying internet dragons.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I wish more people would challenge me to defend my positions, I could use more verbal sparring.

I'm ambivalent towards the giant, carcinogenic, fusion-powered death-ball in the sky. Sometimes all I want is the warm taste of vitamin D all over my face, and some times I want to pretend my skin will burst into flame at the slightest contact. Although, it's skewing more towards the former as I get older. Living two blocks from the seawall helps.
I’m looking for
  • Girls who like guys
  • Ages 24–34
  • Near me
  • For new friends, long-term dating, short-term dating
You should message me if
you have a business installing Styrofoam nuns.