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30 M Vancouver, British Columbia, CA

My Details

Last Online
Yesterday – 9:43pm
Middle Eastern, White
6′ 0″ (1.83m)
Body Type
A little extra
Strictly anything
Dropped out of space camp
Relationship Status
Seeing Someone
Relationship Type
Doesn’t want kids
Likes cats
English (Fluently), Afrikaans (Okay), Urdu (Poorly)

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My self-summary
ACHTUNG!: I'm happily exclusively dating a lovely lady right now. If I visit your profile, it's because I'm playing cyberwingman for a friend. I'll save you some time and just ask "Have you met Justin1099?" Our matching PAX prime photos are adorable.

Incurable geek, information junkie, and space cadet.

I have a love/hate relationship with ambiguity, which would explain why I run hot and cold with the Oxford Comma.

I have a sense of humour that vacillates between 1950s corny and so far over the line that people threaten me with disownment. I also have chronic case of foot in mouth disease. If you think that some subjects shouldn't be joked about... we probably won't get along.

I play life on easy. I don't feel guilt over it, but like to check my privilege.

I'm a pretty active skeptic, I believe that people benefit when you challenge their irrational bullshit. It also lets me be argumentative in public. I think that Bill Maher is a crazypants, and gives the movement a bad name.

Since, apparently, this is a dealbreaker for some of you granola types: I'm a futurist, and I'm deeply rooting for transhumanism to be a thing (upgrade complete!). I'm unlikely to buy food labelled "organic", and I'll be first in line to try vat-grown meat. I do think that Ray Kurzweil lands a bit on the crazy person side of the scale, though.
What I’m doing with my life
I'm FOB from Johannesburg, South Africa (nearly a year now, not so FOB) - working, building some semblance of a life and eating my way up Main Street.

I'm perpetually stuck between professional wordsmithing, and manipulating large data sets in Excel. For now we've settled on the latter for the day job, with a bit of freelancing in the former. That's liable to change. The notion of a "career track" makes me feel stifled, specialization is for insects.

Mocking slacktivists. If you don't really care, admit that you don't really care. The internet will have moved on to a new armchair cause in 6 weeks anyway.

I'm also correcting the health mistakes of my 20s, where I largely ignored that my meatsack had needs. This includes going to the dentist (somehow no cavities! it's particularly weird since my parents both had crowns/veneers/falsies by their mid 30s) telling it that it needs to exercise, and no, it can't have ice cream whenever it's hungry at 2am.
I’m really good at
making puns. Particularly dirty ones. I'm a big fan of the intersection of humour that is awful because it's corny and awful because it's edgy. This is a pretty stellar example of what I'm talking about.
The first things people usually notice about me
I'm pretty unkempt. I have a slouch. I'm reasonably tall. I'm making an awkward joke (that might involve yelling). All of these are valid first impressions.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
I was tempted to just write "Bukowski is my fucking hero," but honestly, I think he was a pretty bad lay.

If you're not doing this, we'll probably get along.

I also like Michael Chabon, Bret Easton Ellis, Irvine Welsh, and many pulpy sci-fi and fantasy authors my inner snob would cringe at being forced to admit enjoying. I'm making an effort to read more genre and speculative fiction by authors who aren't white males. Currently reading Minister Faust's Shrinking the Heroes/From the Notebooks of Dr. Brain. Next on the list Steamfunk!

I'm not nearly as picky about what I'll watch, compared to what I'll read. I like things that are bad, so I can point and laugh at them Mike Nelson style. I still watch MST3K for that very reason (and buy a fair number of RiffTrax.) I have a man-crush on Humphrey Bogart and Idris Elba.

Standouts (TV and Film), in no particular order: Bubba Ho-Tep, Babylon 5, A Serbian Film, Luther, Casablanca, Game of Thrones, Young Justice, Star Trek, District 9. Pacific Rim.

I think the 2012 movie Dredd is the best action film since Die Hard. This is not a joke, if you didn't watch it because of the awful mid '90s Stallone movie, you should give it a try.

I'm a gamer. I play Magic: The Gathering, RPGs - think Dungeons & Dragons or Call of Cthulhu, assorted boardgames (favourites being Dominion, Talisman, Cosmic Encounters etc.), and many, many video games. You don't have to enjoy gaming, but it'd be nice.

I'm also one of the few people you've ever met who is NOT homeless, because of World of Warcraft. That is to say it actively prevented my homelessness. And recently.

I like my music like I like my movies - narrated by Christopher Lee. (I also quite like a little a cappella power metal)
The six things I could never do without
Thing 1
Thing 2
Red Fish
Blue Fish
Green Eggs
Green Ham
I spend a lot of time thinking about
independence. how independence relates to the social contract. what I have to do to selectively opt out of the above. pie.

How I managed to miss the fact that they made a goddamn Dirk Gently TV show.
On a typical Friday night I am
slaying internet dragons.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I think that what most people consider 'respect' is actually deference. I think deference - to poor thinking, to overwrought political correctness, to not challenging other people (and yourself) to defend their positions - actually impedes respect.

I wish more people would challenge me to defend my positions, I could use more verbal sparring.

I'm ambivalent towards the giant, carcinogenic, fusion-powered death-ball in the sky. Sometimes all I want is the warm taste of vitamin D all over my face, and some times I want to pretend my skin will burst into flame at the slightest contact. Although, it's skewing more towards the former as I get older.
I’m looking for
  • Girls who like guys
  • Ages 24–34
  • Near me
  • For new friends
You should message me if
you have a business installing Styrofoam nuns.