New Johnny, now with pictures! My self-summary is too short so it's back to the old cornflakes routine: cornflakes, cornflakes, cornflakes, etc...

I am a cad, a cheat and a bounder.

Getting ready to hit the big four zero in style, then reporting to carousel.

Being incredibly humble. Oops, blew it!

My flowing hair and skinny body.

I'm gonna edit this down soon. It's ridiculously detailed. BTW, in reference to the above question: people soon notice my tendency to procrastinate.

Books: Catch 22, Candide, Animal Farm, The Kraken Wakens, Immortality Inc., The Thirty-Nine Steps, The Demon-Haunted World, The Innocent Anthropologist, Los Mares del Sur, Lisboa Extramuros: 1415-1580, The Age of Extremes, Legions of the Eagle, The Adventures of Nicholas and the Gang.

Comics: Mortadelo y Filemon, Dragon Ball, IVÁ, Mauro Entrialgo, Alvarez Rabo, Rubber Flesh, El Amor a la Ciencia del Doctor Kishiwada, Peter Bagge.

Movies: The Godfather, Apocalypse Now, Blade Runner, Repo Man, Angels With Dirty Faces, Clerks, Casablanca, Rear Window, Spirited Away, The Cotton Club, The Big Lebowski, Magnum Force, Funeral in Berlin, Tampopo, The Dogs of War, Big Trouble in Little China, Raiders of the Lost Ark, Plan 9 From Outer Space, Bad Taste.

TV Programmes: Blackadder, Futurama, Have I Got News For You, The Young Ones, Drop The Dead Donkey, The Sopranos, Star Trek TNG, Red Dwarf, The Supersizers, Top Chef.

Music: The Ruts "The Crack", Circle Jerks "Group Sex", Dead Boys "Young, Loud and Snotty", Rancid "...and Out Come The Wolves", The Psychedelic Furs "The Psychedelic Furs", Doctor and the Crippens "Fired from the Circus", Concrete Sox "Sewerside", Devo "Q: Are We Not Men? A: We Are Devo!", Dead Kennedys "Plastic Surgery Disasters", Ramones "Ramones Mania", Ratos de Porao "Brasil", Stiff Little Fingers "Nobody's Heros", The Cramps "Off The Bone", UK Subs "Recordings 1979-81", Fear "The Record".

Games: Wasteland, Neuromancer, Football Manager, Final Fantasy VII, Suikoden 2, Tekken 3, GTA Vice City .

ID, keys, credit card, cash, toilet paper, a shrubbery.

Why best friends forever isn't available as an option in the "I'm looking for" section.

How the World is becoming an ever more awful place and how easy it would be to fix it, were it not for the unequivocal propensity towards mediocrity displayed by the human race.

Nursing a hangover from Thursday's night out and wondering if I will be able to afford to rent a film and order a takeaway.

I'm not the messiah, I'm a very naughty boy.

You want to. You like tests and can point me to a vein of tests.