Welcome to My Life Long Story center. Before we get started, please put on your seat belt and get a glass of cool and refreshing beverage. Please note that the content of this section may be highly flammable. In case of accidentally scan through, please induce vomit.

Thanks to our sponsor, Aperture Science, this page is equipped with automated time controlling device to ensure your time is definitely not wasted reading this page. And also the complementary cake to enjoy with the reading. Please remember, “We do what we must, because we can.”

In order for all the readers’ convenience to understand me, I would like to tell you that I have the traits to become an internet sensation, and how the cruelty of fate, or for you non believers, conspiracy from US Government has robbed me the honor.

When I was an infant, I was as cute as any. Unfortunately I am neither filthy rich with celebrity parents, nor filthy poor and starving on the continent of Africa. So I was not an internet sensation.

When American Idol came around, my million dollur accent and the (lack of) talent of singing should have made me the most famous contestant. However, I refused to sign the waiver for not fighting back against Simon Cowell. They stole my chance of stardom.

When MythBuster was casting, I have the exact passion for knowledge, skill set and creativity to be in the show. Also I believed strongly in the phrase, “I reject your reality and substitute with my own.” As I practice it in my daily life. However, they told me they already had a stereotypical Asian guy as a sidekick, and I didn’t have the awesome mustache to be the main cast.

When America was deep in political and religious debate fever, I had tons of ink to spill. However, my opinions are rational and reasonable even when my head is in the center of a chaotic storm. So mainstreaming media didn’t broadcast my point of views.

Other than that, when I am away from the imaginary camera, I also enjoy reading, watching and participating in sports (Basketball, Tennis, Fencing, and Martial Arts). Also, weekly dose of crazy thought, random comments and offensive behavior.

Now we are at the end of of first stage. Sorry for the malfunction of time machine, but at least you all had cake. please submit complaints to the suggestion box, i.e. your trash can. And any constructive reviews and suggestions are welcomed to the center's true mail box.

Mostly I'm waiting for the "next big thing" of interweb comes along to lift me into the stardom that I deserves. For now, I started working as a Engineer. surf the web, play video game read and practice Judo to occupy my free time.

Meanwhile, I secretly search for the perfect location as stronghold in the inevitable zombiepocalypse. Training reflex and simulating scenarios using the state-of-the-art training software called video games. All are welcome to provide messages. Please submit your suggestions and alliance agreement to the mailbox. Then you'll have a chance to win a trip to the Aperture Science facility.

I am good at whatever you're good at, and I am better than you are it. "NO YOU!!!!" and "so's your face" if you have anything to say about that.

My existence.
My Chinglish accent.

edit: That he doesn't look black..

Editors

• snarkasaurus

Books: mostly I am playing catch up with reading. I have not read much what most people considering classic. so if you feel that there is something must read, just drop me a message. Neil Gaiman (American Gods, The Sandman graphic novel, Anansi Boys) Chuck Palahniuk (Fight Club, Choke), Kurt Vonnegut(Slaughterhouse 5, Cat's Cradle), Frank Miller (300, Sin City) Stephen King (Dark Tower series)三國演義 封神演義 金庸 古龍 資治通鑒 藤井樹 劉庸....

Movies: 300, Leon The Professional, Star Wars IV and V, Pirates of Caribbean, Seven Samurai, American History X, Se7en, 25th hour, Fight Club, Snatch, Sixth Sense. God Father Part I and II, The Usual Suspect, Saving Private Ryan, The Dark Knight. The Darjeeling Limited, The Pianist, Revolver, Children of Men, Wall-E, My Neighbor Totoro O_o. 所有周潤發+吳宇森 所有周星馳

Music: VAST, The Protomen, Queen, My Chemical Romance, Tiger Army, Johnny Cash, Bad Religion, Flogging Molly, Yoko Kanno, The Black Mage Voltaire and occasionally some Beethoven, Bach, Tchaikovsky.

http://www.last.fm/user/EarsBeforeEyes

Food: Anything that potentially has a soul, because I need to absorb them and their strength.

Video Games: Civilization IV, Company of Heroes, Dawn of War: Warhammer40K, Titan Quest, Portal, Rome: Total War and their expansions.

TV shows: Top Gear, Dexter, Rome, Band of Brothers, Family Guy, Futurama, Scrubs, Journeyman, Modern Marvel, Cash Cab, Good Eat, No Reservation, How It Is Made, and Dirty Job. Japanese anime: Cowboy Bebop, Trigun, Neon Genesis Evangelion, Ghost In the Shell, Elfen Lied.

The unclean in societies.
The impurity in thoughts.
The imperfection in life.
The impossibility in the universe
Companion Cube.
Cake.

The God Emperor, The Chaos, Quantum Mechanics, Zombies. The maybe, the probably. the what-if. How Mike Rowe is more the man than Samuel L Jackson, your best friend, and cookies.

Plotting for world domination or maybe just internet Stardom.

I have a penis and no soul.

I discover the subliminal message conspiracy in the drug test clinics.

YES