Offer a few tips to help matches win you over.
Instead of derping around trying to be clever here, it occurs to me
that it would probably be simplest and best to just make a short
list of the qualities that are really important to me.
First, a disclaimer: I have a lengthy history of "serious"
relationships. I've been married. At this point in my life, I'm not
looking for anything like this. I've come to accept that I'm an
independent and fairly introverted person who needs a good deal of
space and alone time (although definitely not ALL the time!). As
such, I have zero interest in exclusive, monogamous relationships
with commitments, obligations, attachment, clinging, jealousy, and
the like. I also have no interest in cohabitation or the mingling
of finances or other resources. I don't require another person to
complete me. I've sometimes heard this lifestyle referred to as
solo polyamory or relationship anarchy (which sounds way more
badass), if you prefer that sort of descriptor. Anyway: End of
So here's the list; seven non-obvious things that I consider to be
the most important in a match. They're not ranked or anything. Each
is about equally vital.
1. Either non-religious or only slightly so. Religion is a touchy
issue. I find it to be farcical and needless. I won't say that I
can't abide it at all in others, but please no prosthelytizing
zealots in any case!
2. Not a bigot (anti-feminist, homophobic, transphobic, etc). If
you don't understand why calling people "fags" or any racial or
gendered epithet is incredibly shitty, we won't get along.
3. Pretty progressive. As a die-hard socialist/anarchist type, I
tend not to get along with Republicans, Randroids, and other
right-leaners. To say the least.
4. Childfree. Touchy subject, but I'll be blunt: I don't enjoy the
company of children. On the other hand, there are so many wonderful
women who have them. Bottom line: We might be able to have some fun
times out together if you're not childfree, but I don't want to
hang out with kids or play daddy. Please be aware of this.
5. A non-smoker. It just grosses me out.
6. Cool with geekery. D&D and other tabletop roleplaying games,
video games both new and classic, history, folklore, cult and
"genre" (fantasy, horror, science fiction) movies... Most of my
interests are pretty damn nerdy. It'd be cool if yours are,
7. Actually interested in dating. Like, in person. If you just like
messaging people online for its own sake, it's better to skip over
If this is you, YOU REALLY NEED TO BE DATING ME RIGHT NOW, SUCKA!
SEND ME A MESSAGE!