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Megatapirus

36 Seattle, WA Man

Man

I’m looking for

  • Women who like men
  • Ages 18–46
  • Near me
  • For new friends, long-term dating, short-term dating, casual sex

My Details

Last Online
Yesterday – 1:54pm
Orientation
Straight
Ethnicity
White
Height
6′ 1″ (1.85m)
Body Type
Average
Diet
Anything
Smokes
No
Drinks
Rarely
Drugs
Never
Religion
Atheism, and somewhat serious about it
Sign
Gemini, but it doesn’t matter
Education
Working on university
Job
Medicine
Income
Rather not say
Relationship Status
Single
Relationship Type
Strictly non-monogamous
Offspring
Doesn’t have kids, and doesn’t want any
Pets
Likes cats
Speaks
English (Fluently)

Similar Users

My self-summary
Write a little about yourself. Just a paragraph will do.
Hi, there. I'm Will. I'm a laid-back, nerdy thirtysomething guy looking for companionship and good times in the Seattle area.

I was born in New Jersey and grew up in California (mostly in the lovely and soul-crushingly dull mountain ski resort of Big Bear Lake) before moving around to Texas and Maryland and then finally reaching the PNW in 2003. I couldn't be more at home. This is definitely were I belong and where I plan to stay. Cold, wet, and dark is where it's at. The sun can get bent.

MBTI is pretty much totally absurd, but if you really must know: INTJ.

I'm looking to meet easygoing, smart ladies with a charmingly geeky streak for relaxed, no-pressure casual dating adventures around this great city. If that sounds like you, I'd love to hear from you.

ProTip: This monster of a profile is practically a novel, but the really important stuff is in the "You should message me if" section, so just skip down if you're in a hurry.
What I’m doing with my life
Don’t overthink this one; tell us what you’re doing day-to-day.
I'm a certified veterinary assistant looking to complete a degree in biology with an eye toward working in conservation. My past includes stints in the military (USAF) and in sales, but working with animals in some form or another is where my heart is and where I plan to stay.
I’m really good at
Go on, brag a little (or a lot). We won’t judge.
Learning, cooking, writing, conversing. Also: Having opinions on which weirdo cult movies and games about pretending to be elves and wizards are the best.
The first things people usually notice about me
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
My sense of humor and endearingly (I think...) goofy grin.

On a side note, I've lost 120 pounds since 2011 as I make the transition from stereotypical fat nerd to stereotypical scrawny nerd. This isn't reflected in some of my older pictures here. So why do I keep them around? Cute animals, mostly!
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Help your potential matches find common interests.
In no particular order...

Authors:

A strong tendency toward the weird and fantastic here. I also read a lot of non-fiction in the realms of history, folklore, ecology, zoology, and paranormal accounts, but it's harder for me to summarize my tastes there by particular authors (it's more subject matter-based).

Thomas Ligotti, Charles Bukowski, Lao Tzu, Derrick Jensen, Chuang Tzu, John Zerzan, Robert E. Howard, Fritz Leiber, Jack Vance, Edgar Allan Poe, Alfred Bester, Ambrose Bierce, Dashiell Hammett, Raymond Chandler, Ross Macdonald, Peter S. Beagle, Robert Bloch, George Orwell, Arthur Machen, Baron Dunsany, Carl Sagan, Phillip K. Dick, A. Merritt, Bill Watterson, Clark Ashton Smith, Charles Schulz, Lie Yukou, Poul Anderson, Richard Matheson, Ray Bradbury, Laird Barron, Robert Aickman, Li Bai, Hanshan, Algernon Blackwood, Chris Onstad, Sir Arthur Conan Doyle, Adam Golaski

Films:

I'm a movie nut. I love horror, science fiction, and the classics going all the way back to the silent era. I have a strong affinity for cult and B movies. This is only a very small selection.

Metropolis, Forbidden Zone, Network, Barfly, Dracula (1931), The Goonies, Brazil, Big Trouble In Little China, Dawn of the Dead, Psycho, Robocop, The Breakfast Club, Army of Darkness, The Thing, Casablanca, The Blair Witch Project, Pretty In Pink, The Nightmare Before Christmas, Star Wars series, Indiana Jones series, The Evil Dead, Evil Dead II, Night of the Living Dead, The Hitcher, Time Bandits, Sixteen Candles, No Country For Old Men, Leprechaun, Death Race 2000, Dead Ringers, Videodrome, Prince of Darkness, Escape From New York, Jacob's Ladder, Excalibur, The Adventures of Buckaroo Banzai Across the 8th Dimension!, They Live, Scanners, The Big Sleep, Murder, My Sweet, Six-String Samurai, The Haunting, Day of the Dead, The Running Man, A Clockwork Orange, Logan's Run, Repo Man, The Neverending Story, The Terminator, Pee-wee's Big Adventure, The Princess Bride, True Stories

Television:

I actually don't watch a lot these days, so my tastes are pretty retro for the most part.

Mystery Science Theater 3000, The Venture Bros., The Twilight Zone, Star Trek: The Original Series, Freaks and Geeks, The Adventures of Pete & Pete, Garth Merenghi's Darkplace, The A-Team, Forensic Files, Sledge Hammer, Night Flight, Metalocalypse, Unsolved Mysteries, Disappeared, The X-Files

Music:

I have the official worst musical taste in Seattle. I'm mostly stuck in the 80s and 90s and have probably never even heard of your favorite bands. Sorry, hipsters.

Oingo Boingo, They Might Be Giants, Talking Heads, David Byrne, Klaus Nomi, Tom Waits, Johnny Cash, The Cure, Weird Al Yankovic, Depeche Mode, Tears For Fears, Pat Benatar, Shawn Colvin, New Order, Warren Zevon, Frank Zappa, Cab Calloway, Dethklok, Queen, David Bowie, Wesley Willis, The Police, Joy Division, Echo & the Bunnymen

Food:

Too much to list! Italian and Japanese cuisine are especially appreciated, though. I'm a fiend for tea and cheese = God. I appreciate great vegan and vegetarian food, but am 100% omnivorous. If it tastes good, it's going in my mouth.
The six things I could never do without
Think outside the box. Sometimes the little things can say a lot.
OXYGEN HURR DURR

1. Independence
2. Books/movies/games (tie)
3. Friends
4. Good food and tea
5. Cute animals
6. Sexy time
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Global warming, lunch, or your next vacation… it’s all fair game.
The ladies, obviously. Let's not insult you by pretending I just showed up here for no reason.

But also folklore (especially urban legends, folk magic, and the Western grimoire tradition), zoology, ecology, idealistic green anarchist theory, and games of all kinds.

(And whether this profile I've made is hurting my chances by requiring too much reading. Attention spans aren't what they used to be...)

On the whole, I'm probably more of an indoor person than an outdoor one when it comes to activities. When I go out, it's usually to a movie, bookstore, concert, or restaurant. However, I do love camping as well as the ocean and will take any excuse to ride a boat (even the ferries count).
On a typical Friday night I am
Netflix and takeout, or getting your party on — how do you let loose?
Visiting a good restaurant.

Reading or at the book store.

Watching movies at home or a local small theater like The Grand Illusion. Or browsing the stacks at Scarecrow Video for rare gems.

Playing games. Retro 8 and 16-bit video games, board games, card games, tabletop RPGs, even going out to a real old-school arcade like Dorky's in Tacoma, it's all good.

While it isn't really "typical Friday stuff" I also enjoy concerts (saw They Might Be Giants most recently) and conventions themed around stuff I'm passionate about like horror, roleplaying, and retro videogaming.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
I don't drive. You should definitely be down with people who utilize public transportation if you want to hang with me.

My favorite animal is the almighty TAPIR! I'm also especially fond of rodents and birds, but I love every type of creature. Yes, every type; reptiles, invertebrates, all of them). Check my photos for some major cuteness.

I have an inexplicable love for lighthouses and always dreamed of being a lighthouse keeper. Sadly, there's not much demand anymore.

I've actually had some of my Dungeons & Dragons material published. Neeeeerd!

I have a huge weakness for the paranormal: Ghosts, cryptozoology, UFOs, strange disappearances, the works. Even though I don't actually believe in any of it!

I once tried to eat the stick of gum included in a 24 year-old pack of "Garbage Pail Kids" cards. It didn't end well.
You should message me if
Offer a few tips to help matches win you over.
Instead of derping around trying to be clever here, it occurs to me that it would probably be simplest and best to just make a short list of the qualities that are really important to me.

First, a disclaimer: I have a lengthy history of "serious" relationships. I've been married. At this point in my life, I'm not looking for anything like this. I've come to accept that I'm a fiercely independent and fairly introverted person who needs a good deal of space and alone time. As such, I have zero interest in exclusive, monogamous relationships with commitments, obligations, attachment, clinging, jealousy, and the like. I also have no interest in cohabitation or the mingling of finances or other resources. I don't require another person to complete me. I've sometimes heard this lifestyle referred to as "solo polyamory", if you prefer that sort of descriptor. Anyway: End of disclaimer! Yay!

So here's the list; seven non-obvious things that I consider to be the most important in a match. They're not ranked or anything. Each is about equally vital.

1. Either non-religious or only slightly so. Religion is a touchy issue. I find it to be farcical and needless. I won't say that I can't abide it at all in others, but please no prosthelytizing zealots in any case!

2. Not a bigot (anti-feminist, homophobic, transphobic, etc). If you don't understand why calling people "fags" or any racial or gendered epithet is incredibly shitty, we won't get along.

3. Pretty progressive. As a die-hard socialist/anarchist type, I tend not to get along with Republicans, Randroids, and other right-leaners. To say the least.

4. Childfree. Touchy subject, but I'll be blunt: I don't enjoy the company of children. On the other hand, there are so many wonderful women who have them. Bottom line: We might be able to have some fun times out together if you're not childfree, but I don't want to hang out with kids or play daddy. Please be aware of this.

5. A non-smoker. It just grosses me out.

6. Cool with geekery. D&D and other tabletop roleplaying games, video games both new and classic, history, folklore, cult and "genre" (fantasy, horror, science fiction) movies... Most of my interests are pretty damn nerdy. It'd be cool if yours are, too.

7. Actually interested in dating. Like, in person. If you just like messaging people online for its own sake, it's better to skip over me.

If this is you, YOU REALLY NEED TO BE DATING ME RIGHT NOW, SUCKA! SEND ME A MESSAGE!