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27 F Middlesbrough, United Kingdom

My Details

Last Online
Online now!
5′ 4″ (1.63m)
Body Type
Full figured
Strictly anything
Aquarius, but it doesn’t matter
Graduated from two-year college
Less than $20,000
Relationship Status
Relationship Type
Strictly monogamous
Doesn’t have kids, but might want them
Likes dogs and has cats
English (Fluently), French (Poorly)

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My self-summary
*rolls up sleeves*
Now then. Get ready for some waffle.
My friends call me Emma. You can too, I guess, unless you're a stalkery axe murderer.. Then like, don't. Ta.

I've found myself with lots of settled friends and my social bubble seems to be getting smaller due to this. I'm unintentionally gathering progessively concerning hermit status, which is a little worrying, especially since I got a cat.. Looking for at least some online chattage from here.

Stuff about me.. I work hard, laugh a lot, I watch films to the end, (even if they're rubbish, attempting to avoid the rubbish ones because of this, but there's always a few sneaky minx type ones that catch me off guard.) I'm the most passive person I know, I'd just rather not deal with angry people and unnecessarily dramatic situations. Can't we all just get along?
Obviously not.. But y'know, bigger picture. Pick your battles. Don't be a twat.

I love aimless meandering, museums and galleries, countrysides, seasides, coloured glass and really old buildings. I also have a bit of a fondness for festivals and giggery, live music is extraordinary. There's just something about a room/field of strangers sharing a lovely sing-along moment that is just darn tootin' beautiful. I gig as often as possible and trudge to Download Festival every year, the people that go are the nicest I've met at any type of gig. It's hard not to appreciate a smiley metalhead.
What I’m doing with my life
Hanging out with a kitten called Wanda
- likes her own space but appreciates a good snuggle. I've taught her well.
I'm not biased though, pretty much all animals are brilliant in their own ways, fascinating little blighters that they are.

Avoiding reality tv shows as they make me despair for the human race. I successfully manage to dodge the actual shows. Unfortunately, as I work in an office environment, I get them described and discussed regardless. *shakes angry fist*

Spending time with my beautiful and strange little niecelet and ignoring The Parentals when they hint at where their next grandchild should come from.

Other than these three important parts of my life, I'm working, reading, watching boxsets , Googling everything, singing, going out with mates, becoming obsessed with everything on and being aware of how old I'm getting. Since when do they serve children in pubs?! I feel like a chaperone at a school disco.

I've decided to start doing more stuff, possibly undergoing a thirdway-life crisis.. Trying to get back into writing and debating guitar/uke lessons!
I’m really good at
Making new words out of old words
Dying a line around my forehead when I colour my hair.
Singing - as long as nobody calls attention to it.. Stage fright ahoy!
Overthinking things
Being sarcastic.
Applying eyeshadow.
Making lime and lemongrass turkey burgers.
Losing socks.
Leaving the last biscuit for somebody else
The first things people usually notice about me
Colours, smiley face, the fact that I'm probably waving..

I sing.. Especially if music is playing. I'm pretty nifty at remembering lyrics so if you want to be able to hear the actual artists sing the words, you should plug your headphones in.

I tend to talk about films and tv as if I'm friends with the characters. Luckily I watch cool things so it's not like I'm mates with loads of wankii.

I use way too many Teessideisms than I'm comfortable with. "Ayaz" is the only one I allow myself but an occasional "like" and "proper" sneak in sometimes.. The scallywags.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Short answers; Jane Eyre, Annie Hall, Sherlock/Buffy, Beach Boys and chicken.

If you're interested in the massively rambley answer..

Bookswise, I like my classics
Jane Eyre
Most things Shakespeare (counting him as literature but love theatre-ing it up a notch too for ol' Billy Shake)
Sherlock Holmes
All things Gaiman
A few series (serii?) Ice and Fire, His Dark Materials.
But I'll read most things. I'd prefer it to be good but I can never stop reading or watching something until it's finished, which can be quite frustrating if it turns out to be a load o' balls..

Limited to 10 films I could watch at any time.. (I started limited to 5 but it was too difficult)
Annie Hall
Singin in the Rain
Scott Pilgrim vs the World
500 Days of Summer (always tempted to stop watching before the the last couple of lines..)
A Tale of Two Sisters
Josie and the Pussycats
Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind
Withnail and I
Pulp Fiction
A little eclectic, I know.. I'm not sure if the variety would help or hinder in getting to know me. I can keep going?

Will limit self again.
Joss Whedon things (Buffy/Angel/Firefly etc)
Period dramas
Sherlock (oh my amazing..)
Dr Who
The Good Wife
Veronica Mars
Breaking Bad
Arrested Development
Game of Thrones
Garth Marenghi's Darkplace
Black Books
Peep Show
All things Theroux/Attenbrough/Cox/Fry
Y'know, the good stuff. None of this Geordie Shore and Tipping Point malarky..

Tend to lean towards pop punk/rock/most things where an actual BAND is involved.
Fleetwood Mac
Biffy Clyro
Tegan and Sara
The Shins
Alkaline Trio
Frank Turner (especially before he got famous)..
Have also been known to dabble in a bit o'Beach Boys, 80's pop, Motown and musical soundtracks. Pop Punk/Rock stuff from my teens tends to grace my lugs more than recent music as well.
Generally though, anything I can sing to whilst air grabbing is preferable.

Chicken. It's just amazing. They're also not overly cute whilst alive so they don't taste like guilt and sadness.
I'm more of a savoury gal than dessert. Sushi to lasagne, s'all good yo.

Pretty addicted to Wetherspoons though Strongbow being cheaper than Pepsi there is probably a distressing reflection of supply and demand.
I will try pretty much anything though. Lifes too short to not enjoy food.
The six things I could never do without
*Gummy sweets
*Laughter that hurts so good
*Clean pants
*Other people (preferably family and friends..)
I spend a lot of time thinking about
*how awesome it would be if my life was a musical.

*What I would say to Benedict Cumberbatch, Brian Cox or Stephen Fry if I met them.

*How I could store Benedict in my cupboard without him suffocating..
On a typical Friday night I am
Doing my washing and watching a dvd/reading/hanging out with my cat.

I know, rock and roll right?

Flashback to 5 years ago when I was out boogying my backside off with a pitcher of lethal alcoholic beverage with people that I can't actually remember the names of..
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I eat way too much toast.

It doesn't sound too private or dangerous written down but I think I have a serious problem.. If you're aware of any support groups, let me know. Ta duck.
I’m looking for
  • Straight guys only
  • Ages 25–32
  • Near me
  • Who are single
  • For new friends, long-term dating
You should message me if
*Talking to someone who references films and tv shows a lot wouldn't make you want to beat them with things.

*You have perfected a "Film Nazi Glare" to punish those people who talk through films.

*Your photos include you giving an actual smile. Shirtless posers and Myspace shots (I know right, old school) do nothing for me.

Mainly though.. If you think you can make me laugh, have never been to Magaluf by choice and love your Mum.