Oh...and another question a lot of people ask is:
"What are you looking for?"
I am not really looking for anything special. I think, if you always look for something special, you are blind for the things, you could have been able to find. I got an open mind and a free spirit, I don´t think in borders, distances or ages. So it´s also not that important to me to look for a relationship. I am absolutely open, to find the love of my life, my boss-enemy, yes, but I wrote to FIND and that´s total different to to LOOK or to SEARCH!
But if I would find the special one, then she should be something like this little text says:
I am not into girls, the media suggest us to be ideal.
As in Model talent shows for example rattling racks are hunted down the runway, you don´t want to fuck, but you want to feed them. Nothing against skinny or thin girls, but against sick medias.
There are "Barbie doll celebrates" with the vocabulary of a five year old and a sexual charisma of a Meatball (nothing against meatballs - they taste good, but they don´t look like erotic or charisma). They walk through life being ogled by testosterone driven crassly stupid persons - more easy called complete idiots - that are so hollow, that they measure beauty in cup sizes. Nothing against boobs. I love boobs. But I love boobs in every size....because they are boobs.
Dear Ms. Kardashian and Ms. Minaj,
If one of you is reading this at some time:
IN THIS GENE-POOL IS NO PLACE FOR US THREE!
But you both are absolutely welcome to contact me, if you have googled what gene pool means.
Not even porn you can watch - and yes, I am a man and men do fucking need porn! - without porn it is bad. But most of the actresses seem like they were cloned on the planet Fistor, with as little brains as possible, but therefore bigger pronounced sexual characteristics. In the clips then their body openings are used by strange guys, who seem as they would have bathed too long in bovine growth hormones and make a face during sex, like I do, when I have to poo.
But back to women....for me, no one has to starve down to size zero.
I don´t need a tramp stamp, but I love tattoos and piercings...don´t need nails with rhinestones or painted island landscapes. I don´t need a chick with bleached hair and a "from top I look like a skunk"-hairdressing! And please no sun studio victim, whose skin looks like 80 when she is 30. Please no niminy-piminy-aunt, who takes so long in the bathroom like a sloth-couple during mating. I don´t want a bigheaded fashion doll, that defines herself only about her appearance and is insulted, when I tell her:
"Your ass is also just cooking with water!"
What I want and what is really fucking sexy, that is a woman with brain, humor and charisma.
I don´t want a flagship-Barbie with inflated lips and plastic tits, but a girl who can make me laugh and think. I want a woman with plaid shirts and Star Wars shirts...ok Star Trek is also allowed. A woman who likes to read to bedtime...as long we aren´t doing anything more interesting....a woman who surf on Wikipedia and not on Zalando. A woman shitting on American Idol and would rather watch a few episodes of Babylon 5. It´s absolutely ok, if she was a sitting in the first row in school or if she was in a chess-club, as long as her main-hobby wasn´t to try out new makeup. Would be more cool, if she made her Master in "Shadowrun" or similar stuff. I want a girl, that laughs at my bad Darth Vader jokes and she knows, that you shouldn´t feed Gizmo after midnight. I want a girl that sometimes plays Playstation all day with me, even though there is nice weather. Every time I shoot an enemy in the head while playing Call of Duty, I want my girl to shout "Headshot" and then she giggles sweet. A girl which can spend hours with me watching "The Next Generation" and then we make a lot of passionate love. A girl who philosophizes with me after sex on the socially critical subtext of "Starship Troopers" or Zombie-Movies. A girl, that knows, why the answer is 42 and that Dr. Who is not my dentist! And that Vampirs shouldn´t sparkle in sunlight, but...BURN! Edward BURN!
You should have read Asimov, Gibson or Philip K. Dick and you can regularly beat my ass off at the Star Wars Trivial Pursuit. Extra and only for me, you should buy a Princess Leia - slave costume and when you quote the prelude from "Deep Space Nine", I get a premature ejaculation.
And if she is all that, or nearly all that, then I would emigrate to the desert planet and open an ice cream parlor there just for her. I would tattoo her name on my open-heart. I would let me abduct by aliens and aboard their mother ship with a utility knife and then I would force them to call their home planet after my girl´s name. I would even wear during sex only for her a Jar Jar Binks-mask.....so only when it is really necessary.....under protest....:-) I would go for my girl through a wormhole back in time and film with my digital camera the real sinking of the Titanic, so that she never would have to look that fucking hollywood-movie.
For her, I would abolish the subjunctive and would forever only tell mandatory words.
And every time, when my little girl has a bad day, like every woman has sometimes, and if she thinks, there would be too much fat on her ribs or she thinks, she isn´t pretty enough, then I would take her tightly in my arms and tell her:
"You're my little girl and you're fucking beautiful!"