I am 90 percent water. I have an uncontrollable urge to blink every few seconds. I usually wear shoes. Coffee acts as a stimulant on me. I once walked on water in subzero temperatures. I was born a stick figure. Sometimes, late at night, when no one is around, I sleep. Things are what you make them. Things are chocolate.

I am creative, passionate, and artistic

*I am rebuilding my life. Seeking bricks.

*Also currently head writer for Bait & Switch TV. Check us out at www.baitandswitchtv.com.

*Here is a list of 39 things about me (because I like uneven numbers):

1. I love black licorice.

2. I love red wine.

3. I hate narcissists (because it's all about ME!).

4. I love public displays of affection, as a spectator or a participant.

5. I love Peet's coffee.

6. I have never voted for a Republican.

7. I think 'down time' is underrated.

8. I think common sense is often based on ignorance.

9. I think we are all racist, no exceptions.

10. I detest cheap people.

11. I believe 'unconditional love' is something you may get from your parents, if you are fortunate, otherwise it is nothing but an ideal.

12. I believe every relationship is fragile and will wither away if left untended.

13. I believe sex is the glue of any marriage. It is the barometer of where it stands. If the sex is happening and is good, the relationship is good. If not...

14. I am anatomically correct.

15. I was expelled from High School in Burlington, Iowa for wearing a “Schlitz…Breakfast of Champions” t-shirt.

16. I went to college.

17. I write. I write in many forms. I also write poetry.

18. I can’t stand to be around cigarette smoke.

19. I have ADHD and didn’t realize it for over 50 years. Self diagnosed and very high functioning. I see it as a feature.

20. I probably love sex more than you do.

21. I own a lockable male chastity device, but never wear it.

22. I am fascinated by eroticism of spanking; giving or receiving. I love the connection and intimacy that comes from that level of trust and vulnerability. Bonus points if you feel the same way or wish to explore this.

23. I think people who are going through a mid-life crisis are some of the most interesting people out there. They are in the process of waking up and they love to share what they are seeing.

24. I think ambitious, career and agenda-oriented people are some of the most boring, predictable people out there.

25. I know the difference between to, too and two.

26. Whenever I meet someone who is about to get married, I have to hold my tongue. I want to tell them the truth, but I congratulate them instead. They are in love and don’t want to hear the truth. Let them enjoy it while they can.

27. I wonder what skeletons are in Dr. Phil’s closet.

28. I think George W. Bush is the worst president in my lifetime, and possibly all lifetimes.

29. I think Oprah ripped off Phil Donohue and became more popular, not unlike VHS beating out Beta or Windows beating out MacIntosh.

30. If I were to win the lottery, I would still keep my Honda Element.

31. I was raised in a strict Pentecostal household with a mother who spoke in tongues. To this day, I cannot be a part of any organized religion.

32. I don’t think God should only bless America. I think he should bless all countries, the entire earth.

33. I don’t believe if Jesus were alive today he would be a Republican. He was not about embracing the status quo. He preached love and mercy, helping the sick and poor. These are not Republican ideals.

34. I wonder about how if we are seeing everything upside down (the lens in our eyes do this we are told), then what does the world really look like? Are we really inside a sphere instead of outside? The possibilities are endless.

35. I love high tech gadgets.

36. I love conversation.

37. I prefer the American version of the TV show “The Office” over the UK version.

38. I believe determination will get you further than intelligence (i.e. George W. Bush).

39. I don’t think blindly following a president is patriotism.

Writing, humor, sales, marketing, performing, public speaking, KISSING, AFFECTION, communication, creativity.

Did I mention kissing? Let me add: affection.

My gender. Ha ha!

I love all types of cuisine.
I could eat Chinese food every day of the week, and dim sum.

Over 5,000 songs on my ipod, therefore eclectic tastes. A special appreciation for Tom Waits, Bob Dylan, The Fugs, Ken Nordine, Pink Floyd, Bob Marley, Alice in Chains, Pavement, the Seattle Grunge sound, Elvis Costello, early John Prine, Leonard Cohen, Neil Young, Green Day, Leonard Cohen, Robert Johnson, Led Zeppelin, Jimi Hendrix, The Beatles (of course), Stevie Ray Vaughan, Alison Kraus. And I have to add, Adam Lambert should have won American Idol!

Peet's coffee
Creating
Laughing
My iPhone
Love & Affection (including an active sex life) especially KISSING!
Friends & Family

Addendum:

My self respect
Honesty
Trust
Communication
Passion
Compassion

Things I CAN live without:

Conservative politics
Emotional abuse
Cigarette smoke
Right Wing media whores
Sarah Palin

My heroes are everyday people who have the courage to be themselves in the face of overwhelming opposition, people who see through the bullshit and come out smiling, still connected to their heart. I love the company of people who exude confidence, yet who also possess a balance of humility. I love to be around people with a strong sense of humor, yet who can also turn it off and be real. I love musicians, artists, writers, comics who can turn it off and be real, all burning men and all women who see beyond what society dictates to them. My heroes are also the fallen ones who have a story to tell, who still get up each day in touch with themselves. My heroes have a heart and a brain; they are ones who realize success and empowerment are not always what it seems to the masses. If you need to drive a Mercedes or BMW for validation in this world, I would probably be bored by your presence. If you have fallen, hit bottom, and still can laugh and smile, you are my hero.

1. Usually clothed until bedtime.
2. Acutely aware it is no longer Thursday.
3. In weekend mode.

I am divorced and have moved on. I was in a loveless 32 year marriage for ten years, holding on because of my stubborn resolve to keep the family together and the old fashioned point of view I inherited from my parents, that you marry forever. But reality has won the battle. I cannot waste any more of my life in a toxic relationship. I now value myself enough to to take the necessary steps to making myself emotionally available for an -- get this -- emotionally healthy affectionate, mutually-supportive permanent relationship. What a concept!

So, I have been monogamous for 32 years. No STDs. Obviously not afraid of commitment.

--> I have moved out and have my own place. I have moved on. It was the best decision I ever made.

And, here's another concept: I am a male, all male, who values communication and emotional connection. WTF?

This sale will not last long, price subject to change, sales tax may apply depending upon zip code, product is shipped according to weight, not volume, some settling of contents may occur. Product is height-weight proportionate and responds well to spontaneity and people with perspective.

OK, due to popular demand, more facts about me number 43 through 68:

43. I hated my childhood. I am amazed I survived without being locked up.

44. I am a middle child.

45. I think life is already complicated enough. The trick is to embrace simplicity whenever possible.

46. I believe everyone is capable of immense cruelty and betrayal as well as a deep sense of humanity and compassion.

47. I believe when we are healthy, we are loving, supportive people. When we are anything but that, we are not well.

48. I flunked high school speech because I was too shy to speak in front of the class. Later in life I spent 12 years as a professional standup comic, therefore making my living on public speaking.

49. I love coastal towns.

50. I believe everyone has a genius lurking somewhere inside of them.

51. Some day I want to own a vintage VW van.

52. I used to have red hair. I was 40 years old before I realized it had gradually turned brown.

53. I brush my teeth first thing in the morning, before I have breakfast or coffee, and the last thing at night. I never get cavities.

54. I believe the opposite of love is not hate but selfishness.

55. I am in denial about my denial and it works for me.

56. I hate futons.

57. I hate yard work.

58. I think Starbuck’s coffee is vastly overrated; it is above average at best.

59. I think baseball caps look ridiculous on most people.

60. I hated disco in the seventies, but I like it now. Sentimentality for a happier era of my life? Perhaps.

61. I love the writing of Charles Bukowski.

62. I love the writing of Jack Kerouac. I think his own life is as interesting as his work. He is the prime mover of what we all consider to be hip. He wore jeans in a time where wearing jeans was snubbed as lower working class clothing. He was one of the first to record jazz poetry. He hung out at coffee houses long before there was a Starbuck’s. His writing opened it all up for those who followed. He broke the rules and created a new standard.

63. I think the Beatniks were hipper than the hippies.

64. First I was a hippie. Years later I was a beatnik. I worked backwards in time in self discovery.

65. I like to spend time alone. I enjoy my company.

66. I love dogs. I miss my dog, Bojangles. When Milo passes, I will be inconsolably sad. I would hope to not get another dog when Milo passes because the grief is unbearable.

67. When I love, I love all the way.

68. I am very physical and affectionate.

69. Speaks for itself.

If you have read and understand item #22. Or if you want to...and you have a RECENT profile picture. I know we all want to look our best and most appealing, but come on...a picture from ten years ago is deceiving.

PLEASE do not try to meet me if you are bipolar, type 1 or type 2. My mom, my ex-wife and my latest love of my life (MBA, you know who you are) were all bipolar. I just can't go there anymore, the instability is too destructive for me. I have much compassion, but have sadly realized romantic relationships with bipolar women are doomed from the start for me.