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30 Chicago, IL Man


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I’m looking for

  • Women
  • Ages 21-34
  • Near me
  • Who are single
  • For new friends, long-term dating, short-term dating

My details

Last online
Nov 28
6' 0" (1.83m)
Body Type
Average build
Doesn’t have kids
Has dogs
My self-summary
Write a little about yourself. Just a paragraph will do.
Baby, I'll Goldberger ya.

I like dumb jokes and stupid art and I watch an appalling amount of television and movies (usually while doing something else.)

My last name is Goldberger.

I'm a garbage dog.

I don't sleep as much as I should.

I draw everyday.

I really, really, REALLY, like movie trailers. I can't explain why, they're often my favorite part of going to the theater and I feel cheated when they end.
What I’m doing with my life
Don’t overthink this one; tell us what you’re doing day-to-day.
As of October I'm interning at 65GRAND.

Looking for a new place for me n my dog (Spanky) to live. Whenever someone says they couldn't own a dog because they're too expensive what they mean is having one even a little one jacks up your rent like $200.
I’m really good at
Go on, brag a little (or a lot). We won’t judge.
impersonating Henchmen 24 from The Venture Brothers
The first things people usually notice about me
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
My facial expressions, I'm part cartoon, on my Mother's side.


My neurosis
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Help your potential matches find common interests.
Foods: Triscuits. Also, sandwiches.

Books: Sirens of Titan, All Star Superman, huckleberry Finn, The Godfather.

TV: Boardwalk Empire, It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia, Hannibal, Home Improvement, Veronica Mars, King of the Hill, Louie, The Wire.

Movies: Defendor, Barbarella, the Silence of the lambs, Diamonds are Forever, I Am So Proud of You, Observe and Report, The Tooth Fairy, The Life Aquatic, and The Incredibles.

Music: M.I.A., The Pixies, Johnny Cash, The Unicorns, Lady Gaga, Tom Waits, Japanther, 50 Cent, Kanye (can't be helped), LE1F.
The six things I could never do without
Think outside the box. Sometimes the little things can say a lot.
. Sleep deprivation
. My Dremel Tool
. Drawing
. Superheroes
. My idiot best friend.
. Family (especially, my dog)
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Global warming, lunch, or your next vacation… it’s all fair game.
Movies that should nay NEED to be remade starring Dwayne The Rock Johnson
.The Running Man
. Twins (opposite Paul Giamatti)
. Kindergarten Cop
. Turner and Hooch/K911
Yes in aware most of these are just Arnold Schwarzenegger movies, but The Rock could make them so much better.
On a typical Friday night I am
Netflix and takeout, or getting your party on — how do you let loose?
Karaoke, working in the studio, or doing something dumb. I do a lot of dumb things, because I'm an idiot.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
Once while sitting around watching television I had an epiphany and I said "So THAT's why it's called the afternoon" . Yeah also, I was 20 at the time ...

I make an ass of myself often enough I've become quite comfortable with it, enough so that I do not shy from sharing.
You should message me if
Offer a few tips to help matches win you over.
You're feelin' footloose, you have the inclination to. You can be amused by/partake in the stupid shit I do. Seriously I do a lot of stupid shit everyday and most of it I'll do until the day I die. #stupidshit4thecure

There will be a bit of a delay in between me clicking "like" and messaging you. That's because I'm trying to think of something witty to say. Needless to say I will most likely fail expertly.