I think outside the box, so consider me anti-square.

I'll teach you how to fish, instead of catch 'em for ya.

Self proclaimed metaphorical metaphysicist AKA the word wizard.

I'm the neighborhood "Make it Hap'n Cap'n". Just don't go getting me confused with that "Cap'n save a hoe" dude. No one likes that guy.

Constantly improving myself.

Bending spoons with my mind and spontaneous combustion.

I don't know, you'd have to ask those people.

Books - Non-Fiction, Hunter S. Thompson, The Gospel of Christ, Torah, Book of Enoch, Tao Te Ching, Quran, historic texts, and old school tales (i.e: Homer's Odyssey, 1001 Arabian Nights, Aesop's Fables, etc).

Movies - Anything with a decent script. Casablanca, Chinatown, Dumb and Dumber, Memento, Animal house, Donni Darko, Dazed and Confused, Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas, Spun, Superbad, etc

Music - If it speaks to the soul count me in. I dig on a lot of music, everything from Jeru the Damaja to Johnny Cash.

Food - I have an eclectic taste in food.

TV - I avoid that shit like the plague. Except for maybe cartoons.

Air
Water
Food
Love
The search for truth

Hmmm, fuck me it looks like I only made it to five.

You mean besides boobs? Anything and everything from metaphysical existentialism to the current geo-political situation.

Seducing four hookers, converting three Mormons, and talking a transvestite out of a sex change.

I write a lot, even poetry. Here is something of mine that got published in a contest back in '05 (titled "Big Brother"):

Men dressed in black garments
Eyes that pierce through souls
Eyes that pierce through walls
No one is safe, no one can hide
From the eyes that pierce through all
Freedom is bound by nonsense
No one can be trusted
Everyone must be watched
Paranoia in the hearts of great men
Men dressed in black garments
Your darkest secrets
Your deepest fears
No longer have a place to rest from the eyes
The eyes that never close, that never rest
Stop your thoughts and stop your wants
Those same eyes are here to haunt
They will never let you be
and they will always see
Your darkest secrets
And your deepest fears

I'm looking for a Geek Goddess. Let me know if you find her.

Or

You're the real deal Holyfield.