*looks around* So this is the box I get to put my self in? I'm not a contortionist...

Not only do we instinctively hide the most meaningful parts of ourselves from others, but the most meaningful things that make up our selves cannot be understood through words.

It's all about perspectives, so why don't you tell me about myself? No? Mmk then, here it goes...

I love animals. I spend the majority of my free time (free time...hah!) reading. I draw, paint and write poetry to prevent my brain from exploding and to remind me of my self.

I hate sleeping. I love coffee. Think what you want, they are completely unrelated...mostly...unrelated I tell you! I love the smell of coffee first thing in the morning (or last thing at night), and the smooth taste of it. I despise sleeping because I think there are better things to do than act comatose for 8 hours. I'm frequently found star-gazing/sky-watching and I seek solitude, which is why I love midnight. Being awake, outside, at night refreshes and revitalizes my mind and my soul. Even though most of life is sleeping, everything seems so much more alive at night. I'm captivated by rain and I long for a good storm. Rain at midnight seems to be most brilliant than at any other time. It's so quiet that you can hear every sound it makes as it hits the Earth and the air smells so fresh. I also love the ocean so I don't think I'll ever be able to live anywhere not close to it or some other body of water unless I'm surrounded by forests.

I usually appear to be quiet and shy, but I also have a tendency to be random, especially under the influence of coffeine. Yes, COFFEINE, no, I didn't spell it wrong.

I enjoy manipulating metaphors. I contradict myself A LOT but usually I can come up with a logical explanation that I can convince myself with. I'm an empathetic misanthrope...how's that for contradiction?

I can appreciate simplicity, but I generally prefer the complex and complicated. I search for intensity and have an insatiable curiosity. I try to keep busy; I get edgy when I feel like I'm wasting time. (I also despise semi-colons, but it had to go there...)

I sing when I'm sure no one is listening. I hate dancing. I randomly hug people if I think they could use a hug.

According to most personality tests I'm an INFJ, according to some I'm an INTJ. I spend a lot of time thinking about how I feel and about how I think. Sometimes I get frustrated when people misunderstand me, but I can also understand why they do because I can't figure myself out half the time either.

That first ellipsis was a foreshadowing; it was warning you that this may take awhile to read so you better grab a coffee and get comfy.

I also should warn you that I despise when people ask "What's up?" and I will always answer with "The ceiling" and if that bothers you then I suggest you stop reading this profile and move on. Also, if people who join dating sites even though they aren't looking for a date bother you, stop reading. On that note, if you're reading this profile solely because you're looking for a date or a romantic/sexual relationship, move along.

Editors

• 2icarus

Searching for balance, trying to find my self.

Going to college for Environmental Sciences. I'll then finish a degree in Forest Sciences and Ethnobotany/Anthropology at UBC (or UVic) and SFU Kamloops. I'm also fascinated by Psychology, Forensics and Criminology, so I may try to fit some courses in those areas as well. School is my life and I put all of my energy and focus into learning. I'm leaning more towards environmental stewardship than law enforcement for many reasons, but mostly because of one complicated reason that I won't even attempt to explain here.

I think I'm trying to find myself again. I thought I had it all figured out then I ran away from my self to go find out who I was supposed to be and I'm still discovering who I am and who I can be. I don't expect it to be a short trip.

I'm trying to get my passion, ambition, drive and focus back. It took me so long to realize I lost all of it and now I'm taking even longer to figure out a method of turning myself back into me again. College is definitely helping me do that as it is the place where I feel most like myself, and most alive.

Eventually I believe I will study something...no, I mean my career will have to do with studying things...no, I mean studying everything; I'll be a researcher.

The only place I have ever wanted to visit is Ireland. Though I'm sure with my curiosity, eventually I'll want to travel to other places.

I also want to try and get in shape while going to school. I plan on spending a lot of my future surrounded by untouched wilderness, which means I'll have to find some creative ways to get to those places so I better make sure I'm relatively fit...Running up and down endless stairs before, between and after class with a 40lb backpack is one way to get in shape.

I used to spend all of my extra time volunteering. Currently I only volunteer at a local science center once in awhile, handling animals and helping the staff teach visitors about our Earth and the lifeforms that live on it.

Ok...I also volunteer with a certain eco-friendly political group. I also pitch in with a local environmental group occasionally and at an exotic animal rescue center. Once a year I volunteer at a writers' conference for a weekend.

I'm also a research assistant and I work at a custom framing and art store.

Good is relative...I'm better at some things than others, I'm better at those things than other people are and other people are better at them than I am.

Some say I'm good at being stubborn and difficult. Others say over-analyzing everything. I say mashing profile questions into little bits, thinking about things from different perspectives and being self aware. Learning from my mistakes, well, learning period. I'm pretty passionate about knowledge and anything that piques my curiosity or leaves me feeling inspired I tend to do relatively well with.

This question is too awkward, how am I supposed to know what other people think or notice?

If I weren't me, I would probably notice my eyes first. I've been told they can be intense and they do change colour with my moods and surroundings.

If I'm happy it may be my smile. If I was someone tall, I'd notice how (incredibly) short I am, if I was really short, I'd then notice how tall I am...If I'm bending over then no one would see my eyes first.

See my problem with this question? Perspectives, again. Each person will see some different feature first...and it depends on the situation.

(A) I have too many favourite books to name them all here. But I love Michael Slade, Jeffery Deaver, Thomas Harris, Kim Stanley Robinson, John Case, Dan Brown, Michael Connelly and Kurt Vonnegut. I enjoy any book that makes me question life or opens my eyes to different perspectives. I'm starting to read more classics than I used to, though I haven't picked a favourite yet.

One amazing book that I've read recently is Natural Flights of the Human Mind by Clare Morall. It's one of those good books that you don't realize is a good book until you're too far into the story to stop, so you read it all in one sitting. Another book I enjoyed immensely was Land of the Living by Nicci French.

Right now I'm in the middle of reading Vlad the Last Confession by C.C. Humphries, Coyote Dreams by C.E. Murphy again and a bunch of Vonnegut. I recently finished The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy, The Celestine Prophesy and The Forest Lover and enjoyed them immensely. I've also recently read Pumping Ions by Tom Wujec, a book on the world's greatest mysteries, some Slade books, a few books about local plants and herbs and a bunch of ecology/environmental books.

(B)I can't stand most chick flicks or horror movies where the only purpose of the movie is to inflict terror. Though a decent horror movie that has a smooth story line, believable characters and still manages to give you nightmares is great. I will also watch practically any movie once if someone else is watching it.

I generally (there are a few exceptions) don't enjoy movies based on books. I'm the type of person who will try to read the book before watching the movie (if I'm aware that the movie was based on a book), knowing full well it will probably ruin the movie for me. I would rather have a movie (that will probably be terrible anyways) ruined instead of a book ruined by a movie. I won't get into the details, but if you're a book-before-movie person, you know what I'm getting at.

I enjoy movies that have you guessing the whole way through and you can't figure out what's going on until the last few minutes (or you have to watch over and over again before you get it all).

Memento, Boondock Saints, Office Space, Zodiac, Fracture, Eternal Sunshine of a Spotless Mind, Wall-E, Night Watch, October Sky, Waking Life, The Prestige, Howl's Moving Castle, Princess Mononoke and I Heart Huckabees are among my favourites that I've watched lately. The most amazing movies I've watched recently are The Fountain & What Dreams May Come. The most intriguing film I've watched recently is both a short film and a dance film, Asylum of Spoons. It was absolutely amazing.

(C)Music is something I don't think I could feel alive without. I enjoy most music besides rap, jazz, blues and twangy country. I hate being one of those people who say "I like everything but rap and country" because I do enjoy listening to some songs from those genre, but GENERALLY I just don't listen to them.

A few of my favourite artists are Daughtry, ~*Goo Goo Dolls*~, ~*Lifehouse*~, Red, 3 Doors Down, Default, Matchbox 20, Rascal Flatts, Evanescence, *~Sarah McLachlan*~, Yellowcard, 12 Stones, Lonestar, Incubus, Anberlin, The All-American Rejects, The Red Jumpsuit Apparatus, Vertical Horizon, ~*Breaking Benjamin*~, Pearl Jam, Neve, The Calling, The Fray, Stabilo, Thriving Ivory, Death Cab For Cutie, City and Colour, Poets of the Fall, One Republic, Savage Garden, Josh Groban, State of Shock, James Blunt, Joshua Radin, Train, Hedley, Tonic, Bedouin Soundclash, Creed, Enya, Enigma, Switchfoot, Dixie Chicks, Dashboard Confessional, Faber Drive, Emerson Hart, Buckcherry, Muse, Staind, Our Lady Peace, Relient K, Rise Against, Graham Colton, Art of Dying, Sigur Ros, Matt Nathanson, Matt Wertz, Matt Pond PA, Mae, Shinedown, Secondhand Serenade, Andy McKee, Better Than Ezra, David Cook, Trading Yesterday, Within Temptation, Halestorm, Nightwish, ~*Imogen Heap*~, ~*Loreena McKennitt*~...OK I give up, there are too many to name.

My most recent weird love when it comes to music is Margot & the Nuclear So & So's.

(D) There are some foods I don't particularly like and some foods I enjoy eating, but I don't really have any particular favourite. Though, I prefer fresh fruit & veggies to any sort of processed version and I'll take a wrap over a sandwich any day. I also don't eat much meat, but I don't think I could be a vegetarian because I like chicken, turkey and seafood. Oh, but if Coffee is considered a food, then that would be my favourite. I also get cravings for certain foods, mostly spicy food, bagels with cream cheese, sushi, smoked salmon, Jelly Bellies or weird combinations of ordinary food.

One thing I'll never eat again, though I've tried, is uni (sea urchin).

(Q) My favourite quotes:

"We are so accustomed to disguise ourselves to others that in the end we become disguised to ourselves."

~François Duc de La Rochefoucauld

"I know you believe you understand what you think I said. But I am not sure you realize that what you heard is not what I meant."

~ Alan Greenspan

"...And what you do not know, you will fear. What one fears, one destroys."

~Chief Dan George

"Better to write for yourself and have no public, than to write for the public and have no self."

~Cyril Connolly

(X) Favourite T.V. Shows: If I do watch T.V. (which rarely happens) it's usually HOUSE, The X-Files, Mysterious Ways, Supernatural, Whose Line Is It Anyway?, Criminal Minds, Holmes on Homes, Numbers, or Dead Like Me.

(Y) Favourite colour: BLUE

(Z) Favourite Word: Hippopotomonstrosesquippedaliophobia (I love irony) tied with Syzygy...defenestrate and snarky are pretty close as well.

Food, water, shelter and the like, which are the only true things I could never survive for long without (if you want to get technical then just energy and matter).

So here are the types of energy and matter that I don't feel like myself without:

{} An open book (I need to keep my mind occupied because I'm addicted to knowledge)

{}Coffee (which I won't admit I'm addicted to)

{} An open mind (this encompasses logic, emotion, creativity & imagination) & some way to express it.

{} Non-human biota (plants & animals)

{} Music

{} Rain (and most especially thunderstorms)

OK I'm going to break the rules here (OKCupid censors close your eyes)...

I can't get enough of HUGS and cuddling. I probably could live without them, but I know I wouldn't enjoy it.

Everything. At the same time. All the time.

This question is even worse than the "self-summary" box. How am I supposed to fit all of my thoughts, ideas and memories into a box? Well, one random thing I keep coming back to is "Justified true belief" as a definition of knowledge.

...how awesome it would be if the Religion options on here were changed to previous options like: "No," "Sometimes," "Rarely," "Desperately," "Never," "Only When Drinking," or "Trying to Quit."

I think about many things from as many different perspectives as possible to come up with an answer that will satisfy my curiosity at the time.

Right now I'm trying to define what I believe in one term. Am I agnostic? Atheist? An Agnostic Theist? Definitions that are closer would be Irreligious (associating organized religion with negative qualities, but still hold spiritual beliefs) or Ignostic ("God exists" is inconclusive until further evidence is met and the term "God" has a definite meaning). Another one that is pretty close is Metaphysical Naturalism ("nature is all there is and all basic truths are truths of nature."). Maybe an Irreligious Ignostic Metaphysical Naturalist...

My problem is that I can't believe something unless I know it to be most likely true and I can't know something to be most likely true unless I believe it. I know there are things I don't know and I want to find proof for what I don't know, but how can you search to prove something you have no awareness of at all? Like with Naturalism...Naturalists believe nothing is supernatural as all answers can be found within nature...well, what if what we think is supernatural because it cannot be explained/proven yet, but if we can explain/prove it then it becomes natural. What about the unexplained/unproved? If we assume the unexplainable and unprovable don't exist because they don't occur in nature...what happens if eventually there is a possibility of proving they do exist? We couldn't go about proving it because we'd have no awareness of its existence. We'd be ignorant to a possibility. This is turning into a theological black hole...

Another problem is that one word can have so many different meanings.

Like I said, my curiosity gets the better of me, so I spend a lot of time thinking about a lot of things. I lose track of time (and depth perception) when I'm lost in thought...or when I've lost my glasses, wondering where I put them. I walk around bumping into walls and tripping over penguins like a bumbling idiot, until I finally find them exactly where I knew I put them but I just couldn't see that they were there. Then I sit down and wonder who put those penguins there and what I should do with them. Finding my glasses on the table beside me, I decide I should really get some sleep and apologize to my black and white cat for tripping over her. Then I go to bed and read a book or sketch for the rest of the night with my cats curled up beside me and forget that I was planning on sleeping until it's too late (or too early).

Sometimes I've got so many unrelated thoughts (usually half-formed) racing through my head that they crash into each other (it's a great visual which always amuses me; high-speed train-of-thought accidents in my head) and I can rarely make sense of any of them. My thoughts often contradict each other as well, but still seem to make sense to me...or at least I like to tell myself that.

I often wonder why we think and I ponder about the processes behind thought and the idiosyncrasies of the English language. I also occasionally wonder if I would not be so contradicting to myself if my native tongue was a different language than English, as I'd have more words to describe my thoughts and feelings. Which is one main reason I draw, as words alone often can't sum up how I feel.

The destruction of our Earth through mass over-consumption saddens me.

I have a tendency to look at things from other people's perspective. It comes easy to me and I usually do it subconsciously. It helps me develop my own view on certain issues and keeps my mind fresh.

I'm open-minded when it comes to religion and spirituality, but I also think that organized religion has a tendency to relieve people of the burden of thinking for themselves. It frustrates me when people use their religion as excuse to not take responsibility for their own actions. Even worse are those who believe in their religion only when it's convenient for them. Here are my thoughts on people like that:

"God told me I needed to kill someone, so I had to do it."
ME: "But God also told you to jump off a bridge, why didn't you feel you had to do that?"
"Because if I did that, then I couldn't kill that person"
ME: "So in that case, maybe God was actually telling you that you had the choice to NOT kill that person"
"But...then I'd be dead"
ME: "Well...that's a really good option as well."

...People in general wear down my soul, but I know there are individual persons out there that would fascinate me and rekindle my spirit and my opinion of humanity, so I hold on to the hope that we'll cross paths one day.

Lately I've been getting distracted easily and my memory... O0o is that a penny?...What was I saying?

Editors

• 2icarus

Thinking, reading a book, sketching, writing poems, watching the rain fall, watching a movie, gardening or going for a long walk and doing random things to distract myself.

Well, that's what a Friday night generally looked like, but I work every Friday night...so that applies to any night I'm not working, volunteering, doing school work or research.

What's so special about Friday nights anyways? The stars shine on all the other nights too!

If you're wondering if I enjoy partying, as Friday is a typical night to party, then no, I dislike parties, clubs and bars. If you're wondering what I do on the first night of my day(s) off, then it's usually doing things that I didn't have a chance to accomplish on the days I had work/class/research/volunteering.

As this is a public profile, once I admit it here it will no longer be private, will it? If you want to know something just ask me and I may or may not answer it.

OK, OK...I despise this formation of words strung together in a fashion that's supposed to be of some resemblance of my self for others to peruse and try to decide if they would want to interact with me. I'm terrible at keeping in touch, no matter how interesting the person or conversation and I'm mostly here to pass time by doing meaningless tests. There is no point in reading this profile to get to know me, as the me I pretend to know and show you will be different from the person you believe you may know.

OK, OK, OK! I know this is supposed to be juicy and all, so I'll write something of that sort to amuse a random stranger:

I joined an online-dating site. There, happy? No...I didn't think so.

If this is a trap to try and get me to admit that I have some hot fantasy that maybe someone else in the world shares, so if they read this then they'll have a sudden urge to message me so we can have some hot cybersex, then it's not going to work. I'm not here to date/find someone to have sex with.

Even though I volunteer to handle Hissing Cockroaches, Giant Millipedes and Tarantulas, feed Caimans, wrap snakes around my neck and work with over 200 exotic animals I have a somewhat major (ridiculous) phobia of Centipedes and Earwigs. I have hugged and will most definitely again hug a tree. There, that should satisfy.

So this is where I'm supposed to list every premise that defines when you should message me? There's a countless number of possibilities that could give you reason to message me. For instance:

The mood strikes you.

The mood struck you so hard that you want to ask me for my advice on how to treat concussions.

You have nothing better to do so you figure that you might as well do it, even if you have nothing to say or what you think you may say will hardly make any sense at all.

You're bored. (or you feel like it)

You feel like discussing or debating anything at all.

You want to verbally maul me for my opinions on controversial topics.

You want to harass me for having such a long profile.

I missed a 'u' in favourite, colour or any other word that should have a 'u' in it (Regardless of what the generic American dictionary states!).

You're wondering what hippopotomonstrosesquippedaliophobia means.

or

You think OKC should revise these profile questions too, especially this one.

Really, almost anything goes. You may message me and I might feel like responding, but I may not. If the question was worded "I'd like you to message me if" then this would've been much easier...or even better "Don't message me if..."

On that note, DON'T message me if you're going to preach to me (even atheists can be preachy), I'm very open-minded but I can't stand people preaching their beliefs, be it religious, political or other belief. Don't force yours on me and I won't force mine on you, though I'm interested in discussing and comparing different beliefs.

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***Despite what my personality awards say, I'm NOT looking for a romantic/sexual relationship of any kind. I'm only here to do tests and have interesting conversations with like-minded people (or not so like-minded...) to give me different perspectives on life.***