Find better matches with our advanced matching system

—% Match
—% Enemy


52 M Sunderland, MA

My Details

Last Online
Today – 4:18am
6′ 0″ (1.83m)
Body Type
Mostly anything
Agnosticism, but not too serious about it
Sagittarius, but it doesn’t matter
Graduated from masters program
Rather not say
Relationship Status
Relationship Type
Has kids, but doesn’t want more
Likes dogs and likes cats
English (Fluently), Spanish (Poorly)

Similar Users

My self-summary
I am recently back on OKC after a hiatus of a few months. I feel like I'm looking more to the future and opening myself up to possibilities. In the short term I guess I would like to meet someone who is fun to be with and do things with, and in the longer term, I would like to find someone compatible to be a partner. That's in its own good time; I am not in a rush and hope to be clearer about it going forward.

My friends say I'm a good person--kind, compassionate, friendly, fair-minded, good sense of humor. I try to understand all facets of an issue or situation, or a person, rather than making snap judgments or just being reactive. I try to be tactful but also to be authentic and honest.

I tend toward the introspective and introverted--but with a fairly prominent extroverted side. I like people and social situations, like going out for dinner, to hear music, see movies, or just hang out with folks I like--and I balance that with a need for solitude. I'm not afraid to be alone, and I enjoy seeing people as well.

I'm the father of two kids, 22 and 19. The oldest, my daughter, has just moved into her own place, and my son is a freshman in college. He and I vacationed together in California, where I grew up and still have family, the last two summers; this year I think it's my daughter's turn!

So I'm essentially an empty nester now, and I'm mostly liking it and adjusting. I am self-employed, working both as a freelance book editor and as a consultant with a local marketing firm, doing a lot of writing and editing, including for a magazine we produce for one of our clients. Mostly I work from home, but also get to travel a bit in my marketing role, which has been fun, as has meeting new people through that work.

I was married nearly 20 years, and after that had a five-year serious relationship and another shorter one (about six months). Since then I'm living my life, enjoying it for the most part, and looking ahead and around the corner to see what's next. I'm a writer, editor, poet, father, son, brother, friend, lover (not at the moment though!), men's group attendee and facilitator, cyclist, hiker, walker, sometime kayaker, art lover, reader, thinker, dreamer, traveler (would like to do more), and student of life, history, the world.

Although I grew up in southern California I left when I was 21; I've lived in the Northeast for most of my adult life. I like it here except for the winters, but I do sometimes think about moving back west, closer to family and warmer climes. It won't happen for a while (if it happens), as I want to stay pretty much where I am while my son is in college in New England and my daughter is nearby.

What am I looking for? Hard to say because it's hard for me to prejudge, even though I think (I hope) I have a better sense of what works for me and what doesn't now that I'm over 50. I know that I tend to be attracted to women who are smart, sharp, fun, funny...but what does that mean? I guess I know "it" when I see it.
What I’m doing with my life
I made a resolution two summers ago that I was going to enjoy my life as much as I could and do the things I like to do, like hiking and biking, whether I was in a relationship or seeing anyone or not. I have also been working on changing my diet to be healthier and feel better. I've lost weight and gained it back, etc., but will keep working on it. I'm not really a gym person (though I used to belong) but I like walking, hiking, biking, playing softball, etc.

Even though my kids are older now, almost grown, you never really stop being a parent; they're never far from my thoughts. In addition to my work I am getting back into doing my own writing more. My friends are important to me too; some of my friendships are centered around the men's groups I attend and facilitate. The men's work I have done over the past 18 years since I embarked on that journey has really helped me as a man, an adult, a human being, and some of my older male friends have definitely been significant mentors to me.
I’m really good at
Relaxing (too good at this sometimes!)
Procrastinating (ditto)...
...and a few other things
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Too many books/writers to mention. I was a history major in college and still read a lot of history; I went through a bit of a Revolutionary War period recently and have a George Washington biography waiting for me. I'm currently reading and rereading the Sherlock Holmes stories. I've long been a big James Joyce fan, and ditto with Mark Twain, Kurt Vonnegut Jr., Faulkner, Hemingway, Mikhail Bulgakov (The Master and Margarita). And Shakespeare of course! I like John Le Carre too. Poets? Whitman, Dickinson, Ashbery, Marianne Moore, Wallace Stevens, Richard Hugo, etc.

Movies: I'm a huge Ocean's Eleven fan and tend to quote from it (you've been warned). Ocean's 13 is good, too. I still enjoy some of the movies I first saw with my son, which tend to be action/adventure movies or comedies, or both. I like the first 3 Pirates of the Caribbean movies, the first 3 Bourne movies, the two Sherlock Holmes movies with Robert Downey Jr., as well as Office Space, Down and Out in Beverly Hills, The Big Lebowski, Tinker, Tailor, Soldier, Spy, Lost in Translation, The Hangover 1 and 2, Burn After Reading, and some old classics like Lawrence of Arabia, The Third Man, Casablanca, and almost anything by the Marx Bros.--esp. their early ones and A Night at the Opera.

Music: I tend to listen mostly to classical and jazz--big fan of Bach, Mozart, Chopin, Dvorak, Schubert, Glenn Gould, Thelonious Monk, John Coltrane, Duke Ellington--and also "classic rock"--which was just called rock and roll when I was first listening (what happened?). I've learned a bit about folk music and really like all kinds of music, esp. American roots music, blues, etc.; would like to see/hear more live music. Food--really like all kinds of ethnic cuisines, esp. Asian (Japanese, Chinese, Thai, Indian) and Mexican, Italian, etc. I'm not a great cook, though I do a couple things well (including grilling), and I'm a huge appreciator of food and those who cook it.
The six things I could never do without
Internet: for work and communicating
Basketball: in season
Baseball: ditto
Books--history, poetry, fiction...
Hmm...#6...Love? Sex? Air? Food? Coffee? Red wine? Nature? Lots of candidates.
I spend a lot of time thinking about
My life. My friends. My kids. Work. Writing. Relationships past, and potentially future. How I'm looking forward to spring, and missing feminine energy.
On a typical Friday night I am
Nothing particularly "typical," but I often use Friday nights to relax and rest from the week, and to think about my weekend. Watch a movie or a ballgame, make dinner, unwind.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
Well, since it's private, I think it'll have to wait until we meet!
I’m looking for
  • Girls who like guys
  • Ages 40–57
  • Near me
  • Who are single
  • For new friends, long-term dating, short-term dating
You should message me if read anything here that strikes a chord with you, and you'd like to know more--send me a message, let's email, talk, and/or get together and meet. Thanks for reading my profile.