Konichiwa muchachas. Are you looking for the most amazing boyfriend that ever lived? If so, look no further. You fucking found him.

A bit about me:

I'm respectful, quiet, clean and I won't be bothered by any of your shit. If you leave shit everywhere, I'm just like, "Fuck it I’d better not touch all her shit because it's not mine”. I'll even cook for you. That's right, Gordon and Jamie, eat your hearts out. I'll slow cook a shoulder of lamb and serve it with potato puree, caramelised onion and green beans and smother that shizzle in the best drizzle you’ve ever tasted. EVERY. DAMN. NIGHT. Don't eat meat? That's FANTASTIC! I'll rustle up a butternut squash and pear ravioli with rosemary sauce!

I can also read. I fucking LOVE books. Shantaram, Life of Pi, Empire of the Sun, The Beach, anything Hunter S Thompson. All that shit. I read old and new books to learn about life, love, knowledge and the pursuit of something greater than thus. Do you like films? I love them. We can watch the shit out of some films together if you like, or go for drinks, or a swim, a wander, play music really loud, check out some arty stuff, wrestle or I don't have to talk to you at all. It's completely UP TO YOU!

Am I interested in hanging out with you? You can bet your frilly knickers I am! I only require honesty and a fun personality. A cracking smile and long legs will be considered a convenient bonus. Email me! I'll hook yo’ ass up with Facebook links, background checks, credit reports, phone numbers, CV, references, awards, sexual history, pictures of sports medals and a list of the top five women I'd like to sleep with before I die. If you want a next-generation boyfriend who consistently blows your mind then hit me up.

I got back from an extended break in Thailand, had a truely amazing time and met some brilliant people, which got me thinking....there must be a cool girl closer to home that I can have some equally awesome times with. Hence my arrival at OKCupid!

I'm unemployed so I generally kick around at home smoking weed and playing Xbox all day. Sometimes I go to the petrol station for a pastry snack when I get the munchies. Actually that's a lie. I'm a pretty successful PR. It kinda suits my personality because I've always enjoyed communicating with people in one way or another, I like the spotlight, get to be creative, think big, school others in being awesome and, of course, travel. I've recently worked in Vegas, Seoul, Milan and Berlin, which I love and those local cocktails aren't going to drink themselves.

Hearing my alarm clock and thinking it's a sound in my dream and I don't actually have to wake up.

Fixing things.

Dancing amazingly well because I'm drunk...or dancing horribly because I'm drunk.

Being a human dustbin.

Working out because I'm human a dustbin.

Laughing in the face of adversity (in fact laughing in the face of anything).

Winning (especially at Connect Four, knuckles, races and fighting dirty - watch out for the horse bite).

Well, what did you notice?

Way to much to name so I'll just go with the latest and what I'm reading/watching/listening to lately...

Books: The Damage Done, World War One a Short History, Life (Keith Richards)

Movies: A Prophet, La Haine, Amores Perros, Seven Samurai, Apocalypse Now Redux

Music: where to start...last CD bought was by Lee Scratch Perry, last album illegally downloaded was Jake Bugg, last album listened to was Daft Punk Random Access Memories (think it's a grower) and Tribes (loved it), last live act seen was Maguare, last music I danced to was some Cuban hiphop, last festival I went to was Exit 2012 and I'm going back this year. I have a lot of time for BBC 6 Music.

Food: keeping the Thai theme and half-arsed detox going it's Tom Yum soup although I saw a picture of a lasagne and fried egg sandwich today and I really want to make one

Art: the last arty thing I checked out was God's Own Junkyard. I love anything with a twisted urban/contemporary edge. Throw in some vicey neon and it's totally rocking my boat

I could do without anything - there are always ways to cope. But that's not playing the game so lets go with....that little Men in Black zapper that makes people forget stuff (great if I go on a date I dont like), the people in my life that are always loyal and there with me, a challenge, kicking back to Motown, a killer sense of humor, and of course....a spare key!

Lately I've been preocupied with my Hokey Cokey addiction. But I managed to turn it around and that's what it's all about.

Selling crack to kids and helping old ladies across the road - a loveable rogue.

I don't like to rule anything out.

You are playful, fun, laid-back, charismatic and can laugh at yourself.

Disclaimer**

OKCupid is not responsible or liable having a great time with this individual. Nor will you be charged for smiles, laughs, or general merriment as a result of interaction with this individual. If you are reading this and for some reason do not like to have a good time, your glass is half empty, you're a spammer or batshit crazy, please go about your day, forget you saw this profile and enjoy life.