Welcome to my profile. Here's my list of random minutiae and odd jokes to win your heart, your friendship, your lust, or your scorn. What I lack in self-promotional ability, I make up for in number of words I use to do it in, so, settle in. My profile safe word is "peanut", so if at any point in this profile I type the word "peanut", please stop reading immediately and release the restraints.

That said, I'm down-to-earth, thoughtful, pragmatic, but, tempered by an love of play, absurdity, and most importantly humor. I'm also habitually creative, a determined individualist, but I don't wear nonconformity on my sleeve, like so many (too many) of the people I've met here in SF.

The only consistent trait of my close friends is how often they pleasantly surprise me. Overall, someone who's got something to teach, and something to learn, I can probably hang with. I think a lot and enjoy conversation with people that get me flexing my brain muscle. That's not to say I don't do my share of mindless partying... you've got to have balance.

I'm an east coast expatriate—I'll never live there again, but I'll always be from there, and have that dash of New York cynicism to spice up whatever sunshine I've picked up in California. If you think San Francisco is the greatest place in all of creation, you speak about Burning Man in pious tones, or you think that having more tattoos makes you less like everybody else, I may have to, gently and in a really charming way, mock you. If any of those are true and you can deal with the gentle, really charming mockery, though, that's a plus.

Still, I'm a romantic at heart. I can get pretty passionate about the things I care about. I love adventure and thrive on the unexpected. I always want to know what's around the next bend. I used to run in Cacophony Society/Burning Man circles, but I got over it, mostly because the particular circle of friends I fell in with turned out to be kind of vapid... they were fun to go out with but didn't seem to have much conversation skills beyond smart-ass quips or gossiping about who wore what silly hat to which theme party. I still enjoy a good street prank or organized public spectacle on occasion, but only if they're funny, original, and enlightening.

I spent a fair bit of time on creative activities. I'm the best guitar player you've met this month, and also really enjoy photography, writing, and behind closed doors, database design, which I'm lucky enough to make my living doing, and is definitely an art form. I also love traveling and the great outdoors, but don't get out of town as often as I would like, lately.

I also believe in lazing around sometimes. Can't be doing things *all* the time.

A copy editor once fell in love with me for my punctuation skills. I know the difference between an em dash and a hyphen, when you should use two spaces after the end of a sentence instead of just one, and when you should or should not use a serial comma. But I have enough social skills to know not to bring it up unless asked. (It didn't work out with copy editor girl.)

I'm 5'6", but I identify as 6'3". Please respect my statural identity preference. No, really. Stop laughing! I thought about lying about my height on my profile, but, shit, I figured I might as well lay my cards on the table, because if you're really hung up on it (as a disappointing handful of otherwise attractive women on here seem to be,) I'm not going to change my height for the likes of you.

So, how's it going? Am I overselling myself here? I knew this thing would be trouble, start to finish. I'm trying, babe, I'm really trying.

My taste in women is really broad, and my best relationships have sometimes been with women who I didn't actually have that much in common with on paper. Even though I'm rumored to be an iconoclast, romantically I've often clicked better with women who have something of a conventional streak than those who wear on their sleeves how "weird" they are. But overall it's hard to pin down—my taste in women is as varied as my taste in music, I just tend to take people on their own merits.

I do have a particular thing for brainy, cerebral women... smart is definitely sexy. It's not required but always a strong plus. Mr. Spock with breasts would probably do me in.

A sharp sense of humor is a huge plus also. See Sarah Silverman's bit in "The Aristocrats" for a how-to manual on going from zero to sexy in 60 seconds. There's nothing sexier than good comic timing. It bowls me over, every time.

One thing I don't put up with is flakiness. Seriously. It's just a pet peeve. People who habitually don't say what they mean, or often say one thing and then do another, I tend to lose patience for very quickly. It's the New Yorker in me. So if you say you're going to be somewhere, please, be there, or call, or have a *really* good excuse. If you're late, I don't care, I have a lot of patience, I'll wait for you. But at least make some kind of effort to keep words and actions in in the same ballpark. It's really my only absolute rule.

You're still reading? I lose most people by the Star Trek reference. You're alright, I like you already.

I am thoughtful, humorous, creative, daring, and … what? Time's up?

Work: self-employed database consultant for the past 10 years. I work mostly for nonprofits lately, by chance rather than design, but do enjoy the feeling that besides lining my pockets, my day-in-day-out efforts are probably doing some good in the world. Either way, I'm one of the lucky ones. I set my own schedule, charge what my time is worth, and make my living doing something I enjoy. Beats working, by a country mile.

Play: Music is my first love, but nowadays it's mostly a pretty private pursuit. I try to spend a little time every day making music, and have fans around the world thanks to YouTube. I do some writing, too, but only when something really moves me. I'm good with words, and know how to write an essay that says what I mean or a letter than gets results. Despite what you see here. This whole dating profile thing, it's a lot of pressure, you know?

I'm also a habitual photographer. I don't know anything about photography, I just love doing it, and am always shooting, even just with my phone's camera. It actually annoys a few of my friends occasionally, but I think annoying people is any good photographer's job.

Socially, I go out a fair bit, but with friends like mine, getting sucked up into the occasional all-night conversation is inevitable, and I'm just as happy spending a night sitting around at home with good friends as doing something out—my very closest friendships have been marked by sometimes getting together to go out, but then getting so absorbed in conversation that we never make it out the door. Still, I check out live music often, or many evenings can be found yukking it up and getting classily schnockered in my neighborhood watering hole. There's something to be said for the occasional lazy night spent sitting around watching videos, too. 'Specially if you've got a friend who likes to cuddle... which, if I had, I'd be cuddling instead of filling out this profile.

To deal with the inevitable physical consequences of being a computer guy, I go down to the gym two or three times a week, which is completely at odds with the rest of my personality and with my entire life up until about 6 months ago. I'm about as far from being a jock as you can get, but working out fairly regularly has become an enjoyable thing in my life. It just feels good.

I have spent most of my life camping or traveling on a regular basis, and I try to travel every few months, either back east to see the friends & family or to visit friends up and down the west coast. I love riding the train, and have been on most of Amtrak's western US routes at least once.

I enjoy going dancing occasionally—I can't sit still when there's good music playing. Either live music or clubs is fine, although standard soulless trance doesn't do much for me, it's got to have some funk or a little soul to move my feet. I admire people who can really cut a rug, and think about taking dancing lessons some day. Still, I very rarely injure anybody on the dance floor anymore.

I also am into urban exploration. I just have a thing about going into, under, and behind things. This goes hand-in-hand with my photography. Either you get it or you don't. Also, it means I know a few cool places to take a date where you'll get to see a view you don't normally get to see.

music (Guitar, keyboards, bass, a few other things just for fun. Learning the trumpet right now.) photography, making people laugh, writing, cherishing my friends, and on rare occasions drinking them under the table (a skill cultivated solely in anticipation of one of those "Raiders Of The Lost Ark"-style emergency drinking crisis moments), coming up with precisely the right word for what I mean to say, FileMaker Pro database design

Doesn't that last one make you hot? Admit it, I gotcha on that one.

:facepalm:

I have no idea. People have told me more than once that I'm noticeable: I think it's my curly hair, at first, then my quick sense of humor, once we've gotten to know each other.

Once I get started on my faves, I tend to evangelize. Feel free to let your eyes glaze over, I can't see it:

Books: Mostly nonfiction. Jon Krakauer, "Into Thin Air". Maury Terry, "The Ultimate Evil". Lewis Thomas's "The Lives Of A Cell". "Longitude" by Dava Sobel. Gia Fu-Feng's translation of Tao Te Ching changed my life, and I go back and read it again every so often. I was reading a book about handwriting analysis, but I think it's a load of crap. On the fiction end, CS Lewis's "the Screwtape Letters" is just about my favorite book ever, but I should explain that it's for the psychology, not the mythology—you could strip the religion out of that book completely and it's still an amazing manual of human dysfunction. "Flatland" by Edwin Abbott is an old favorite. I still have my childhood love of Ray Bradbury's science fiction.

Movies etc: Network, Brazil, The Front, Best In Show, Sleeper, Take The Money And Run, Taxi Driver, The Birds, A Serious Man, Being There, The Conversation (or pretty much anything with Gene Hackman that wasn't directed by Wes Anderson), Apocalypse Now, Breaking The Waves, 2001, A Clockwork Orange, any old Abbott & Costello flick, Repo Man, Barton Fink, The Jerk, Raiders Of The Lost Ark, Touching The Void, 28 Days Later, Monty Python And The Holy Grail, Blade Runner, Baby Tee, Dawn Of The Dead, Carry This For Me, Goodfellas, Open Water (yes, really,) Burden Of Dreams, Idiocracy, 16 Candles, Boulanger Et Chien, A Bronx Tale, and I eagerly devour documentaries about ocenography or marine wildlife. I also really love a good horror movie, too many to list my favorites here. If you don't think Flight Of The Conchords is funny, it may be indicative of a deeper problem.

Music: All over the place. Recent listening includes stuff by Bach, David Bowie, Blind Willie Johnson, the Angry Samoans, Alastair Galbraith, Liz Phair, Pink Floyd, Tupac Shakur, Maurice Ravel, The Who, Charles Mingus, LCD Soundsystem, Macy Gray, Richard Thompson, Erik Satie, Dr. Octagon, Cat Stevens, the Buzzcocks, Marilyn Manson, Jethro Tull, Al Green, the Beastie Boys, Ladytron, Julian Cope, Lightnin' Hopkins, Radiohead, Curtis Mayfield, the Clash, Boards Of Canada, Ornette Coleman, Devo, Operation Ivy... I could go on. And if you get off on what WWOZ.org (streaming radio out of New Orleans) plays between about 6 and 8 pm most weekdays, damn, you should just message me RIGHT NOW. I love that old funk, soul and 50s music. I go to sleep listening to vintage european prog that you've never heard of.

Food: sushi, Thai food, Greek food, Indian food, all seafood with claws. I like my food spicy... I like food that bites back a little (also other things that bite back a little.) Also anything that tastes like coconut, sesame or mint, except for my dreaded nemesis, the foul subversion of all that is minty and wonderful, spearmint. Also, there is no better comfort food on this earth than a mint chocolate chip malted milkshake. Drink: I live on club soda/seltzer/sparkling water, espresso, and the occasional shot of Elijah Craig 12 year old bourbon, in moderation. You don't waste that stuff.

Friends with an interesting perspective
An occasional change of scene
My '68 cherry sunburst Les Paul and tobacco sunburst Simon & Patrick cutaway dreadnought acoustic (Yes, they're one thing. You can't split up a couple.)
A giant hissing demon skull with snakes and sulfur plumes
A path through the woods to a shady creek for skinny dipping
Pleasant surprises and unexpected adventures
Just kidding about the demon skull thing. Just keeping you on your toes.

Music, language, getting back to nature, computers, cognition, travel, religion and politics from a social perspective, wishing my room would clean itself up.

Also sex. I'm a guy, you know.

Sitting 'round the corner cafe with friends, shooting pool at the bar, checking out a live band, staying home with a movie, or going out with my camera to do some night photography.

I sometimes have fantasies about exhibitionism. I've always wanted to get laid on BART. Preferably during rush hour.

I once played guitar and keyboards in a Devo tribute band.

I guess there's not much that I'm not willing to admit here.

You're still reading, and know not to take any of this shit too seriously.

You feel like it. I don't bite (except by mutual agreement.)

You noticed right away that three of my "favorite movies" are fake.

You're just smart, funny, sexy, smell good, and want more of the above. Minus the hissing demon skull.