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34 Elmhurst, NY Man


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I’m looking for

  • Everyone
  • Ages 27–45
  • Near me
  • For new friends, long-term dating

My details

Last online
Oct 8
Open relationship
Relationship Type
Strictly non-monogamous
5' 11" (1.80m)
Body Type
Other but it’s not important
Has kids and doesn’t want more
Has cats
My self-summary
Write a little about yourself. Just a paragraph will do.
I'm a 32 year old, polyamorous, queer, cis-man. I have been with my husband Vinum_Capit for 7 years, and we are looking to expand our circle of friends / lovers.

We are not "experimenting". We're not looking to "hook-up". We're not looking for a "third". We date separately and on very rare occasions together.

I'm looking for new friends, people to hang out with after work, and if all things go well, someone to go out and explore this wonderful city with.

I work for a really big corporation making Big Data look pretty. I also am very involved in the arts and am active in a theater. I love to play the guitar, make up silly songs to make people laugh and then turn it all around and sing a beautiful heartfelt ballad.

I absolutely love the outdoors. I grew up hearing "Go Outside and play, you're driving me crazy!" So therefore I spent a lot of time outdoors. I still love to get out of the city and go camping at any chance I can get.

I had my first poly experience when I was 16. The three of us were practically inseparable for over almost year. Eventually, I became monogamous with one of them and remained friends with the other. I fell in love with the dynamic and have been looking for that level of closeness ever since. I love finding the connection between people, what their interests are and what makes them tick. What excites other people, what turns them on, what gets their creative, sexy, juices flowing.
What I’m doing with my life
Don’t overthink this one; tell us what you’re doing day-to-day.
Doing my best to be legen - wait for it. . .
I’m really good at
Go on, brag a little (or a lot). We won’t judge.
Listening and being empathetic. I love hearing people's stories and relating to them. I've been told that I give really great advice by telling people the truth and not just what they want to hear.

I'm also really good at drinking good beer and/or whisk(e)y.

Sometimes these three things coincide and it's magical.
The first things people usually notice about me
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
UPDATE: Spring is almost here, so my lovely handlebar moustache will be no more until the fall/winter. I'll be nice and clean shaven, for those of you who prefer that. For those that don't, it will return in 6 months for Movember!
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Help your potential matches find common interests.
This will change I'm sure, but for now I'll give the top five or so in each in no particular order. Please keep in mind this is just off the top of my head, otherwise I'll be here all night agonizing over each decision.

American Gods
Catcher in the Rye
Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy
A Song of Ice and Fire
World War Z

The Dark Knight
American History X
Boondock Saints
Star Wars (Episodes IV, V, & VI)

Game of Thrones
Walking Dead
Buffy (Don't judge, Joss Whedon is amazing)
Doctor Who (I am a Whovian and have my own Sonic Screwdriver)
Dr. Horrible's Sing-a-long Blog (Again the amazingness of Joss Whedon)
Masters of Sex
Sons of Anarchy
Breaking Bad

Tom Waits
Damien Rice
Luke Kelly
Jug Bands

Anything my brother cooks
Anything my husband cooks
Select things that I cook
The six things I could never do without
Think outside the box. Sometimes the little things can say a lot.
Physical Connection
Family (my friends are my family)
Making Music
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Global warming, lunch, or your next vacation… it’s all fair game.
What other people are thinking. I'm completely fascinated by other people's thought process. If you are easily annoyed by someone asking you "What are you thinking" then we might have problems.

Also I spend a good amount of every day thinking about the Zombie Apocalypse. I find myself walking past buildings and rating them on potential survivability scale during an outbreak.

Whether or not a big blue box is going to suddenly appear in front of me.

Making out.
On a typical Friday night I am
Netflix and takeout, or getting your party on — how do you let loose?
Looking for something to do.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
I've cried while watching Buffy and Doctor Who. More than once. Shut up.

I love answering questions. If there's something you want to know, go ahead and ask. I'll give you an honest answer.
You should message me if
Offer a few tips to help matches win you over.
You think I should have messaged you, and you think it's kind of cute that I can be really shy at first. If I've rated you highly and haven't sent you a message it's probably because I'm feeling shy, and not sure what to say.

If you're poly or poly curious. I am are honest, open, and expect the same in return. if there is any kind of initial spark it is important to me that anyone I go out with is just as comfortable meeting Jace as meeting up with me. He is the most important part of my life and I love him to bits.

You're interested in having a conversation about what the word "Queer" means to you. I've come across a lot of profiles that wish that "Queer" was an option on OKCupid, and I agree that it should be. I'm always interested in discussing gender/identity/sexual politics and how it applies to people on a personal level.

You don't mind taking it slow. I am a sex positive person and if/when we get to that stage you will definitely be in for a treat. For me, sex is an expression of our connection with someone, and that can occasionally take time.

You have a bunker already prepared to survive the Zombie Apocalypse.

You have a secret or overt love of Joss Whedon, J.J. Abrams, Steven Moffat, or Gene Roddenberry.

- dary

Lastly two quote I recently came across:
In the forest, there was a crooked tree and a straight tree. Every day, the straight tree would say to the crooked tree, "Look at me...I'm tall, and I'm straight, and I'm handsome. Look at're all crooked and bent over. No one wants to look at you." And they grew up in that forest together. And then one day the loggers came, and they saw the crooked tree and the straight tree, and they said, "Just cut the straight trees and leave the rest." So the loggers turned all the straight trees into lumber and toothpicks and paper. And the crooked tree is still there, growing stronger and stranger every day.”

~ Tom Waits

“At the plantation,” he said, ignoring me, “there is a large open space at the rear of the house. It was a small clearing at first, and over the years I have enlarged it and finally made a lawn of it, but the edge of the clearing runs up to the trees. In the evenings, quite often, deer come out of the forest to feed at the edges of the lawn. Now and then, though, I see a particular deer. It’s white, I suppose, but it looks as though it’s made of silver. I don’t know whether it comes only in the moonlight or whether it’s only that I cannot see it save by moonlight— but it is a sight of rare beauty.”

“It comes for two nights, three— rarely, four— and then it’s gone, and I don’t see it again for weeks, sometimes months. And then it comes again, and I am enchanted once more.”

“Do you see? I do not own this creature— would not, if I could. Its coming is a gift, which I accept with gratitude, but when it’s gone, there is no sense of abandonment or deprivation. I’m only glad to have had it for so long as it chose to remain.”

~Diana Galbadon