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84 M Liverpool, United Kingdom

My Details

Last Online
Oct 6, 2007
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My self-summary
Write a little about yourself. Just a paragraph will do.
I'm 27. NOT 77. OKCupid seems to have decided Im 77 for some reason. Im Not.

BE WARNED: Bad spelling and grammar may be lurking ahead. Its not short but theres plenty of funny quotes. Read and Enjoy. And if all the quotes annoy you thats just tough cos I like them. Last updated: 23.09.07

Good morning...Oh, and in case I don't see ya, good afternoon, good evening, and good night

Come and talk to me.

My name isnt really Mike. Its just a username here. Seemed funny at the time.

Slim, smart dresser, short hair, no tattoos or piercings. Wanting to meet nice girls/ ladies around the Liverpool area, (or at uni, visiting etc), for coffee & chat, dating, who knows. Just because we're holding hands doesn't mean we'll be taking warm showers together until the wee hours of the morning.

Im not here for anything specific, not searching for sex or love. I just want to meet new people and see how things go. I dont mind meeting at short notice (as in a couple of days), Im not someone who has to talk to a girl for months before i meet her.

If youre not in liverpool but will be here in the forseeable future (night out, shopping, visiting, at uni, etc etc) drop me a line? Maybe we could meet, or maybe you just want local info? Im also interested in chatting to people in other areas cos I travel around sometimes and still like meeting new people.

According to the results from when I took The OKCupid Test: 'Your indirect approach is not some evil trickery, but rather a result of your open mind. You'd enjoy either love or sex, but the latter definitely doesn't require the former. While you are responsible and ambitious, you absolutely DON'T have uptight views on relationships. So ultimately, you just enjoy a woman, and let things take their course. If she wants you, great. If not, that's fine too. Though you're not thinking too much about Love at this point in your life, odds are, when the time comes, you'll be very happy settling down.'

Im easy going and relaxed, almost seeming uncaring and lazy but also very active and outdoorsy. I like challenging physical activities, I travel very easily and enjoy doing it.

I'm actually a nice bloke. Its not always obvious straight away. You wont see if you dont look at what isnt being pointed out. People who make the effort to get to know me, like me. Those who dont try, dont like me. People who are nice, find out I'm a nice person; people who arent nice dont get on with me.

"Before you judge a man, walk a mile in his shoes. After that who cares?... He's a mile away and you've got his shoes!"

If you dont like me please tell me that honestly. Dont lie to me. Im strong enough to survive the honest truth if you dont like me for whatever reason. If youre chatting and theres something wrong, tell me, I can't fix it if I don't know what's broken.

I value peoples honesty online above nearly everything else. If we lie, where do the lies end. One major request: Be honest. If we are all open and honest, we can all be happier.

I dont like people who block you if you say something they dont agree with. If I disagree with your opinion, I will debate it with you. I also dont like people who claim to be always ready to chat and who then fail to reply to messages.

I dont have a pic here and wont be posting one here if I have any. If you have msn messenger and chat to me there I may try and get you one there. I like to chat there anyway so mail me with your address for it.

There are some who call me... Tim.

"Either you're part of the problem or you're part of the solution or you're just part of the landscape" (Ronin).

IF is the centre of life.

Once you have a good excuse, you open the door to bad excuses.

I am Improvise, Adapt, and Overcome
What I’m doing with my life
Don’t overthink this one; tell us what you’re doing day-to-day.
Seeking a new direction in life. Some nice job that pays well and that isnt too boring. Also I seem to be spending a lot of my time sleeping cos I love my bed - I dont do cold mornings (unless Im travelling). Come talk to me if you wanna know more.

Where life had no value, death, sometimes, had its price. That is why the bounty killers appeared.

If I'm not back in five minutes... just wait longer.

I bet I can quit gambling.
I’m really good at
Go on, brag a little (or a lot). We won’t judge.
All sorts of things. If I do something, I do it properly. No half-arsed attempts.

Combat: I eat concertina wire and piss napalm and I can put a round through a fleas ass at 200 metres.

Swords: The pointy end goes into the other man
The first things people usually notice about me
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
Er, dunno cos Im not a mind reader. But, what people see first isnt always the real me. Those who are willing to work to get to know me will like me.

What I would like to be the first things people notice about me? The spanking new Aston Martin Vanquish Im driving (unless Im a blur of speed). Or the way Im doing something incredibly difficult and making it look easy.

'I thought you were dead!' 'Yeah, I get that a lot.'

and hell followed with him.

NOBODY expects the Spanish Inquisition! Our chief weapon is surprise...surprise and fear...fear and surprise.... Our two weapons are fear and surprise...and ruthless efficiency.... Our *three* weapons are fear, surprise, and ruthless efficiency...and an almost fanatical devotion to the Pope.... Our *four* *Amongst* our weapons.... Amongst our weaponry...are such elements as fear, surprise.... I'll come in again.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Help your potential matches find common interests.
Favourite indicating preferred choice, these are not finite lists, only the beginning.

Books: Hitchhikers Guide, Discworld, Earthsea, Red Dwarf.

Movies: Bond, MP Holy Grail & Life Of Brian, Heartbreak Ridge, Long Kiss Goodnight. Some action film, er dunno, the list goes on and on. Ask for some titles I liked (see if you can pick any from the quotes).

Music: Fur Elise, most stuff by Ludwig van B (great in the dark with a LARGE baileys). Some good rock stuff. Plenty to choose from.

Foods: Coffee, dark chocolate, bacon butties, cheese and onion sarnies.

Really I cant fit all I like in here, so theres plenty more. Ask on specific items.
The six things I could never do without
Think outside the box. Sometimes the little things can say a lot.
Strange question. Do without for how long? Where? Under what circumstances? Just for a night out? For a day? For the rest of you life? How seriously doing without? Comfortably living without? Or basic surviving without? Hmmm? Stupid question cupid. Explain it more.

But Im never anywhere without my phone. And I very rarely leave the house without housekeys and money (and of course my intelligence, and quick-thinking adaptability which leave me on top in most problems).

Rule number one: Do. Not. Get. Caught.
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Global warming, lunch, or your next vacation… it’s all fair game.
Aston Martins, the Vanquish and DB9 and now the DBS, trying to decide which I think is best and how to get it. Im not really a car fanatic, its just that they ooze class and style and beauty. Decision made - Aston Martin V12 Vanquish is THE most desirable car on the planet. And if you want to dispute this, heres the website:

Sometimes I think about God type stuff and I think if He/She is around then He/She must be that git Q from Star Trek who keeps changing reality and pissing people off.

Recently also: names. I have a whole big philosophical thing with this. Why must people be pissed off when I wont tell them the label my parents picked for me before I was even born? It has no bearing on who I am. It is simply an official identifier. Would you ask someone for their passport number or social security number? So you'll pardon me if I ask you to kiss my pucker.

What 's in a name? That which we call a rose By any other name would smell as sweet.

What is the difference between the Cub Scouts and the military? Bzzzzzt! Cub Scouts don't have heavy artillery!

Charlie/ Samantha Caine: Are you thinking what I'm thinking? Mitch Henessey: I hope not, 'cause I'm thinking how much my balls hurt.
On a typical Friday night I am
Netflix and takeout, or getting your party on — how do you let loose?
Drinking or working or a combination of both, or maybe just sitting at home watching crap tv cos I cant be arsed moving. Or on here or msn messenger or looking up some silly thing online.

Mostly out robbing diner bars, and cafe type places, shouting: Any of you fucking pricks move, and I'll execute every motherfucking last one of ya!

That's just a picture of me in a suit. You could've got that off the internet. I saw a picture of Bill Gates with three titties on the net.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
No chance, nothing doing. Im admitting nothing.

Surely you can't be serious. I am serious, and don't call me Shirley

Apparently Im a dirty minded, sexist git. Well if you can live with that, Im actually a nice guy. I can be hard work at first, but great to know if you stick at it.

I wont admit that I never get tired of seeing a nice pair of boobs. And neither will I confirm the rumour that I am exceptionally gifted in bed. Wink wink.

Psst, I cant spell 'Chrysanthemum'.

When I was born God gave me the choice of a good memory or a big willy. The funny thing is I cant remember which I chose.

If I'm gonna get my balls blown off for a word, my word is poontang.

I would happily insert two red hot needles simultaneously through both my ears so they meet in the middle of my brain, and tap-dance the title song from '42nd Street' barefoot on a bed of molten lava while giving oral sex to a male orang-utan with dubious personal hygiene if it obtains me an Aston Martin V12 Vanquish.

Somebody took my phone number and called Afghanistan. Afghanastan. I've never talked to anyone in Afghanistan, I don't know nobody in Afghanistan, and even if did know anyone, I wouldn't talk to that Afghan ass for three hours. I won't talk to my daddy for three hours.

I aint handsome, I aint rich, and the last time I got blown, candy bars cost a nickel.

Be advised, I'm mean nasty and tired.

OKCupid says: "You've answered (or skipped) every active question in our database. Wow."
I’m looking for
  • Girls who like guys
  • Ages 49–154
  • Near me
  • Who are single
  • For new friends, long-term dating, short-term dating, casual sex
You should message me if
Offer a few tips to help matches win you over.
If youre female, send me a message. Im not desperate, Im just bored and here to chat. Its easier to stop talking if we dont get on than it is to list reasons why we might do. Im not just looking for sex. I wont say no, but thats not why im meeting. This doesn't mean we'll be swappin' spit in the shower.

Note at the top it says STRAIGHT. Blokes while i may value your comments, if you have something to say make your point quickly before my mouse reaches the delete/block button. no more freaky blokes chatting to me please.

Also please, no closed-minded freaks who will slag me off for trying to talk to them. how dare anyone try to talk to someone on this site, disgraceful.

You have the right to remain silent. So shut the fuck up. You have the right to an attorney. If you can't afford an attorney, we will provide you with the dumbest fucking lawyer on earth. If you get Johnny Cochrane, I'll kill ya.