I am one of the nice guys, someone you could totally take home to meet the parents, but also nowhere near as vanilla as I look on the surface!! I'm also no pushover; I have a strong sense of myself and what's important to me. I grew up as a bit of a geek and a brainiac who was a bit of a social misfit -- I've evolved quite a bit over the years, and can hold my own in social situations, but will always be a bit of an introvert. It's important to me to connect on intellectual level, and very much want a partner who "gives good mind"!
I have such a great life in many ways, but I seem to have this blind spot when it comes to finding a lifelong relationship!! And thus, I'm now here, giving this a shot, too (it seems like long odds, but it is true "you miss 100% of the shots you don't take")...
I really don't like the dating game. For me, once it's obvious there's a special connection, exploring the facets of a one-on-one relationship is what it's all about for me. I seem to be wired for monogamous partnership (my parents, married for 49 years, were always best friends first, and I grew up with the expectation that was "normal" in relationship). I don't have any moral objection to those seeking more complex poly- arrangements, but I could never imagine that working for me.
I don't easily fit into any particular mold. On the surface, I look very "normal" and it wouldn't be instantly obvious that I've had some very out-of-the-box experiences in my life. In fact, one of my more favorite questions on here is "Which would you rather be?: Normal, or Weird?" I think I tend to look at what's Normal in our society as quite unhealthy, and when someone describes themselves as "just an average gal" that's a pretty big turn-off. I am looking for someone unusual (and amazing!)... One quote I really love: "You want my opinion? We're all a little weird. And life is a little weird. And when we find someone whose weirdness is compatible with ours, we join up with them and fall into mutually satisfying weirdness — and call it love — true love." - Robert Fulghum
I also am on a new-age spiritual path that is decidedly different from my conventional New England religious upbringing. I realize in saying this I've just simultaneously lost both the committed atheists on here (which is a fairly large group!), *and* the conventionally church-oriented highly-religious as well!! However, my spiritual orientation to life is a core of who I am; I believe that life IS spiritual, inherently, and that there's so much more going on here than the five senses show us... and that's at the cornerstone of the partnership I want to have, a mutual recognition that this is so, and that the main purpose of a relationship is to learn and grow together.
Finally -- for anyone still with me so far -- I do seem to have a relationship "type" that, while not set in stone, seems to keep coming around again and again: I am consistently drawn to strong women, with strong personalities, i.e. expressive, sassy, "dominant", often tomboyish or at least someone balanced in their masculine/feminine energies. I also am more balanced in my energies and really appreciate anyone who brings an out-of-the-box approach to gender roles, or at the very least isn't running a lot of unconscious expectations about "the man is supposed to do XYZ". I love being generous toward a partner, but my hope is that it can come from a place of equality and a more modern and conscious arrangement than simply following tradition.
If you're still with me and liking what I've said -- awesome!! Feel free to keep reading... all the way through the questions (there's a lot to be learned there)... but if you see yourself as a match to what I've just written, don't wait, open up the "Send a Message" box at the top and say "Hi!"!