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46 M Santa Monica, CA

My Details

Last Online
Yesterday – 10:17pm
5′ 8″ (1.73m)
Body Type
Other, and very serious about it
Leo, and it’s fun to think about
Graduated from masters program
Science / Engineering
Relationship Status
Relationship Type
Strictly monogamous
Doesn’t have kids, but might want them
Likes dogs and likes cats

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My self-summary
Write a little about yourself. Just a paragraph will do.
Full of surprises...

I am one of the nice guys, someone you could totally take home to meet the parents, but also nowhere near as vanilla as I look on the surface!! I'm also no pushover; I have a strong sense of myself and what's important to me. I grew up as a bit of a geek and a brainiac who was a bit of a social misfit -- I've evolved quite a bit over the years, and can hold my own in social situations, but will always be a bit of an introvert. It's important to me to connect on intellectual level, and very much want a partner who "gives good mind"!

I have such a great life in many ways, but I seem to have this blind spot when it comes to finding a lifelong relationship!! And thus, I'm now here, giving this a shot, too (it seems like long odds, but it is true "you miss 100% of the shots you don't take")...

I really don't like the dating game. For me, once it's obvious there's a special connection, exploring the facets of a one-on-one relationship is what it's all about for me. I seem to be wired for monogamous partnership (my parents, married for 49 years, were always best friends first, and I grew up with the expectation that was "normal" in relationship). I don't have any moral objection to those seeking more complex poly- arrangements, but I could never imagine that working for me.

I don't easily fit into any particular mold. On the surface, I look very "normal" and it wouldn't be instantly obvious that I've had some very out-of-the-box experiences in my life. In fact, one of my more favorite questions on here is "Which would you rather be?: Normal, or Weird?" I think I tend to look at what's Normal in our society as quite unhealthy, and when someone describes themselves as "just an average gal" that's a pretty big turn-off. I am looking for someone unusual (and amazing!)... One quote I really love: "You want my opinion? We're all a little weird. And life is a little weird. And when we find someone whose weirdness is compatible with ours, we join up with them and fall into mutually satisfying weirdness — and call it love — true love." - Robert Fulghum

I also am on a new-age spiritual path that is decidedly different from my conventional New England religious upbringing. I realize in saying this I've just simultaneously lost both the committed atheists on here (which is a fairly large group!), *and* the conventionally church-oriented highly-religious as well!! However, my spiritual orientation to life is a core of who I am; I believe that life IS spiritual, inherently, and that there's so much more going on here than the five senses show us... and that's at the cornerstone of the partnership I want to have, a mutual recognition that this is so, and that the main purpose of a relationship is to learn and grow together.

Finally -- for anyone still with me so far -- I do seem to have a relationship "type" that, while not set in stone, seems to keep coming around again and again: I am consistently drawn to strong women, with strong personalities, i.e. expressive, sassy, "dominant", often tomboyish or at least someone balanced in their masculine/feminine energies. I also am more balanced in my energies and really appreciate anyone who brings an out-of-the-box approach to gender roles, or at the very least isn't running a lot of unconscious expectations about "the man is supposed to do XYZ". I love being generous toward a partner, but my hope is that it can come from a place of equality and a more modern and conscious arrangement than simply following tradition.

If you're still with me and liking what I've said -- awesome!! Feel free to keep reading... all the way through the questions (there's a lot to be learned there)... but if you see yourself as a match to what I've just written, don't wait, open up the "Send a Message" box at the top and say "Hi!"!
What I’m doing with my life
Don’t overthink this one; tell us what you’re doing day-to-day.
Searching for my soulmate!! And in the meantime... Perpetual self-discovery, applying my technical background toward service in the world, keeping the technology around me up and running (I am the guy to call if your computer is giving you problems, or to connect up your audio-visual equipment). Constantly learning and growing. Live audio mixing at seminars and workshops. Discovering all kinds of cool historical documentaries on Netflix (I have had an interest in U.S. Presidents since I was a little kid, and my latest fascination is the Space Program of the 1960's).
I’m really good at
Go on, brag a little (or a lot). We won’t judge.
Listening, being very present with a partner, giving massages, fixing your computer when it's been giving you problems. Problem-solving in general. My job: producing/engineering a live event from the ground-up. Good intellectual conversation. I have ridiculous amounts of trivia floating around in my brain -- and an insatiable craving for ever-more information. Finding a good deal. I'm a very energetic karaoke singer (it's one place where my full Leo comes out to shine!).
The first things people usually notice about me
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
For better or worse, that I'm a "nice guy"... so if you're in any way (consciously or unconsciously) looking for a "bad boy", it's probably not me. Good doesn't mean boring by the way: I've lived a very interesting and sometimes unconventional life... but fundamentally, I am who I am.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Help your potential matches find common interests.
Books: All time favorite fiction: Illusions by Richard Bach. Any good historical biography (e.g. Abraham Lincoln). Good metaphysical reads. Anything by John-Roger.

Movies: Stardust, Shawshank Redemption, Titanic, Groundhog Day, Moulin Rouge, Back to the Future, The Bucket List, Good Will Hunting, and my all-time favorite (from the first day I saw it): Forrest Gump. Also, The Curious Case of Benjamin Button; an amazing movie and message:

Shows: Don't watch much current TV at all. All time favs: most David Kelley (Boston Legal, Ally McBeal, Picket Fences, etc.), St. Elsewhere, MASH. Lately on Netflix I've been watching Lie to Me, Numb3rs, and Life.

Music: Very eclectic tastes inspired by what I grew up with: classic rock, 80's music, soft rock, smooth jazz, even occasional country. Anything that isn't too harsh or angry. I've really learned to appreciate the magic of a well-produced record with clean sound (for example, Steely Dan, Pink Floyd). I am a big fan of Jeff Lynne's work with Electric Light Orchestra/Traveling Wilbury's/Tom Petty, etc. The more I learn about music, the more awestruck I am with the Beatles and the depth and versatility of what they created, in such a short time, and inventing it all as they went along.

Food: Raised on middle-America meat 'n potatoes, I have over the last few years started to learn what eating healthy is. That said, I still love a good burger. Anything with a really tasty sauce (yes, good ketchup counts).
The six things I could never do without
Think outside the box. Sometimes the little things can say a lot.
Interesting problems to solve
Intellectual stimulation
A computer with a fast Internet connection
My smart phone
A very reliable car
Indulging in late-night takeout from In-N-Out!
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Global warming, lunch, or your next vacation… it’s all fair game.
the meaning of Life, how the world works, how I've gotten to where I am and where it is I want to go. What can be done, and what I can do, to help get the world moving on a healthier track. I am fascinated by history, politics, technology, psychology, and generally am an information junkie. It has always been a passion of mine to understand how things work.

That it couldn't be that difficult to create a better online dating site than this!! (Is saying this going to get me censored?) I haven't found anything better, but it seems so "dumbed down" from what it could be!
On a typical Friday night I am
Netflix and takeout, or getting your party on — how do you let loose?
Any one of the following: Perhaps at a class, the gym, going to bed early to prepare for an early morning work seminar, watching a documentary on Amazon Prime/Netflix, or clicking "Browse Matches" on OKCupid one more time like an addict at a roulette wheel thinking "this will be the time..."
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
Add me to the list of those who think avoiding this question is silly! It's not asking for your deepest, darkest secret, just something silly or fun that you *are* willing to admit on the public internet! I've got three:
1. Some of my favorite late-night "unwinding" entertainment are shows that others wouldn't think of as light fare, like "Air Disasters" and other forensic-type shows.
2. One of my favorite Pandora stations started with Toto's Africa as its seed song.
3. I like the song "1,000 Years" by Christina Perri.
(See, this isn't that hard!)

Also, once I trust somebody (and this doesn't have to take very long when there's a nice connection), I am pretty open and would hope that with my partner it would be a near-automatic feeling like I could just share anything and everything, including "deep dark secrets".
I’m looking for
  • Girls who like guys
  • Ages 33–51
  • Located anywhere
  • Who are single
  • For long-term dating
You should message me if
Offer a few tips to help matches win you over.
you resonate with some or all of the following: You're really smart and looking for someone to match you in an intelligent, deep conversation. You're used to being the "smartest one in the room" and would like to meet someone who challenges you. You are a good-hearted person seeking the same. You've done a good level of personal growth/introspective work, and self-awareness is critical to you. You're sweet and/or charming. You're looking for someone to act a fool with (borrowed from another profile because I loved it!). You know that you are a "great catch", and have been wondering where the heck your soulmate is and why he hasn't shown up yet!
** You are drug-free. **

**** You are a woman that looks at relationships in an out-of-the-box way, with non-traditional views on gender roles, or with at least some tomboy in you. ****

All things being equal, someone who's local would be ideal; but if you think we might be that one-in-a-million, let's check it out and see!

*** You believe in love! (Sounds obvious, I realize, but I want someone who's looking to play the same game as me.)

And finally, in the spirit of asking for the moon, if any of the following are true for you(or especially if *all* are!), please consider dropping me a line:
- If you resemble, or in any way have a similar vibe to Pink (the singer)
- You like to karaoke (one of my favorite "second date" options)

Blessings to you in your search...