“The Google of
online dating”
— The Boston Globe
“Completely free”
— TIME
“A favorite hangout
for internet goers”
— The Village Voice
“A perfect example
of the Web 2.0 revolution”
— New York Post
Find better matches with our advanced matching system
—% Match
—% Friend
—% Enemy
MissMayflower
44 / F / straight / Single
Dayton, Ohio
Her journal posts
Playing with a Boxxaroxx
I just stumbled upon a journal post by Boxxaroxx, and since I'm starring in it, I'm going to take time out of my busy man-hunting process and respond. :)
He muses that "The picture she paints of herself is not unappealing, but as she goes on and on, AND ON with the description of what she wants -- and what she does NOT want, you begin to get a feeling that she may be a little more jaded than she lets on."
Just to clarify, I haven't screened and rejected 1,600 applicants, as Boxxaroxx says. To date, there have been 1,808 unique visitors to www.myheroquest.com. The vast bulk of them never contact me, which is the whole point of the exercise. I'm not a good match for 99.99376% of the population, so the site does its job--discouraging men who aren't a match, and encouraging the very few who may be.
I'm a professional marketer, and I look at this as a marketing exercise. I'm a "product" and somewhere out there is a "customer" who will be thrilled to find a woman with my "features and benefits." There's only one "product" available, which means the "cost of acquisition" is going to be pretty high. Not everyone is "qualified" to test-drive this "product."
My process certainly isn't for everyone. If you're a very normal, average person, with a normal, average 9 to 5 job and lots of free time, there are going to be a lot of normal, average people out there for you to choose from and lots of time for you to date and evaluate. You're going to have a much easier time of it than I've had, lucky you!
But I'm neither normal nor average, and I have very little free time. So I've automated my search to the extent I can, just as I've automated other aspects of life. The less time I have to spend on the process, the more time I get to spend on the results (the man!)
It's a shame that my process made Boxxaroxx feel cynical. That, in itself, proves my point--he and I are not a match, and that's perfectly okay.
If anyone should feel cynical, it's me. But I don't. I'm still as blazingly optimistic as I have always been. :)
~Kathleen
Ok, now I just have to look.
dguyton commented on
As one amongst the however many actually rejected (a long, long
time ago, as I recall), unlike Boxxaroxx I didn't feel the least
bit put out. After all, it's you choice who you date, how you date,
etc. I applaud you for knowing what you want but worry that, like
so many folk, you conflate compromise with that strange beast
called "settling". It's okay to decide that you can live with less
than perfection, it's acceptance of the fundamental imperfection of
human beings... including ourselves. Because sometimes what we find
most annoying about a person is also what endears them to us most.
You deserve to experience true love, as much as anyone else, and
the method you choose... if it does no harm to others... is just as
valid as anyone else's. You didn't hurt Boxxaroxx, sounds like
someone beat you to it and he's misdirecting his anger about that.
raconteurx commented on
Meh, failed my Spot Typo. Second sentence, "you" should be "your".
Kindly forgive.
raconteurx commented on
Based on what I saw in your profile, I disagree with Boxxofroxx's
theory. You are a girl who knows what she wants and have a
preferred method to find it. I can totally relate to this. I even
prefer the exchange of emails so the first date feels at leat like
date three.I don't think your requirements are ultimately any more stringent than most women. You may be a little more specific than many but this is understandable since you are looking to streamline the process. Actually you are only saving everybody time. BoxxxofRoxxx should appreciate that, not criticize you for it. He sounds like he may be a bit jaded to me.
Okayu, I may go check out your private website to see what that's all about.
OneOcean commented on
Raconteurx makes a valid point about occasionally needing to
compromise. For instance, I would gladly wear a kilt to fufill your
role playing fantasies, even though I would not likely wear one
otherwise.But, would you be willing to compromise with my libertarian social views and only moderate economic views? Maybe not.
OneOcean commented on
Had a chance to look through your website, and it is really spooky.
I could have written virtually all of that (if I were more wordy,
and considerably more driven). Something else: I already own a kilt
:)
dguyton commented on
