I moved from California to Nova Scotia in November. Although I was originally raised here, I moved to the States when I was twelve years old and spent the last sixteen years in the San Francisco Bay area. I experienced a particularly rough last couple of years; my life crumbled to pieces and I lost everything. Ultimately, my choice was either return to family or face homelessness. To be honest, I don't have fond memories of this place and the decision to return was not made lightly... but I'd completely exhausted all other options. I'm in a recovery/rebuilding phase right now with the support of my two wonderful families: my adoptive family and my birth family (who I just met in November).
My closest comrade at the moment is a teddy bear that my best friend from California sent me. He's a good listener, a phenomenal snuggler, and knows when to keep his trap shut... but the conversations tend to be rather one-sided. Other than him, I really don't know anybody outside of my immediate family, so I'm seeking out a peer group of less-fuzzy like-minded individuals.
I'm open to anything from platonic friendships to more serious relationships. All of my past romantic relationships have been with women. I've never formally dated a man, but have had my share of casual sex. While physically pleasurable, it also served a need... it made me feel attractive and desired. But once I went full-time my priorities changed and meaningless encounters don't stimulate me anymore. I realized these men had no problem being with me sexually, but lacked the courage to be seen with me in public. I don't want to be anybody's dirty secret any more. I'm not here to satisfy anybody's curiosity. Nor do I wish to be someone's fetish. I've been all these things and it's dehumanizing. Rather, I want to be loved and respected for who I am. Gentlemen, please drop your penises, go back and re-read this paragraph very slowly. Many of you are clearly not paying attention.
I'm seeking something more, something ongoing and emotionally meaningful. After my divorce (I was married to a full-time transgender woman), I'm enjoying having some fun, dating and discovering myself. It's important to note that I'm definitely not looking for a full-time monogamous relationship here... just an ongoing experience with someone open-minded and willing to grow along with me. I suppose I'm polyamorous, although I dislike the many of the connotations associated with the word.
Significant connection is what I'm truly after: romance, friendship and trust. I'm looking for a good conversationalist with a sensitive side. Someone I can go to dinner with or catch a movie, someone who will hold my hand in public and introduce me to their friends, someone who will snuggle next to me, someone who will kiss me gently, and most of all someone who will recognize and treat me as the woman I feel myself to be.
I don't have all of my shit together, and I don't expect you to either. I'm unemployed and broke. I attended rehab for alcohol abuse and later developed an IV drug habit from which I am clean now. I suffer from chronic depression. But I'm holding it together, all things considered. I'm not looking for someone to solve my problems, just someone to experience some life and growth with, ups and downs included. I'm hoping that's not too tall of an order.