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27 Los Angeles, CA Man


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I’m looking for

  • Women
  • Ages 23–35
  • Near me
  • For new friends, long-term dating, short-term dating

My details

Last online
Apr 7
Asian, Middle Eastern, Black, Native American, Indian, Pacific Islander, Hispanic / Latin, White, Other
Open relationship
Relationship Type
Mostly monogamous
5' 11" (1.80m)
Body Type
Not at all
Agnosticism and laughing about it
Dropped out of Post grad
Doesn’t want kids
Has dogs and Has cats
English (Fluently), Latvian (Somewhat), Yiddish (Fluently), Afrikaans (Somewhat), Tagalog (Somewhat)
My self-summary
Write a little about yourself. Just a paragraph will do.
I'm a polyamorous photographer. I regularly have a beard. I have tattoos. I live in West Hollywood. I have a dog. I have many leather-bound books and my apartment smells of rich mahogany.

There are other cool things about me too. You should probably ask.

Instagram: @DarlingtonSwink

Check out my website
What I’m doing with my life
Don’t overthink this one; tell us what you’re doing day-to-day.
Gettin' mad likes on Facebook, yo.

I've been pursuing some rather ambitious fitness goals recently (how LA) and I would love to find a girl who wants to hike, take yoga classes, do pilates, go to the beach, take pictures etc. Fit women are a big turn on for me.

I thought the above statement was tactful enough, but the point seems to have been lost... No fatties. Sorry. Don't waste your time.
I’m really good at
Go on, brag a little (or a lot). We won’t judge.
-Glib online dating profiles.
-Looking away from the camera.
-Accidentally growing a beard.
The first things people usually notice about me
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
My silver tongue, facial hair, and my collection of nerdy tattoos.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Help your potential matches find common interests.
Chuck Palahniuk, George Orwell, Heinlein, Orson Scott Card, Michael Crichton, Sam Shepard, Brad Neely, Jhonen Vasquez, Frank O'Hara, Bukowski.

Photographers (because you care):
Tyler Shields, Ted Emmons, Terry Richardson, Richard Avedon, Ralph Eugene Meatyard, Kyle Thompson.

Futurama, Breaking Bad, Game of Thrones, The Venture Bros., Lost, South Park, Archer, Always Sunny, Wilfred.

Fight Club, Old Boy, Wizard People, Dear Reader, Lo, Requiem for a Dream, Anchor Man.

Flogging Molly, Die Antwoord, Kanye, Rilo Kiley, Gorillaz, Explosions in the Sky, The Beatles, The Mountain Goats, Eisley, ALL THE SHOW TUNES, Eminem, Lupe Fiasco, LCD Soundsystem, Passion Pit, Crystal Castles, AWOLNATION, Regina Spektor, Queen, Mika, The Decemberists, X-Ray Spex, The Postal Service, The Dresden Dolls, Johnny Cash, Social Distortion, Clap Your Hands Say Yeah!, Pulp, Pink Floyd, Tom Waits, Violent Femmes, Cut Copy... And so much more.
The six things I could never do without
Think outside the box. Sometimes the little things can say a lot.
A camera, art, sex, redbull, friends, animals.
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Global warming, lunch, or your next vacation… it’s all fair game.
On a typical Friday night I am
Netflix and takeout, or getting your party on — how do you let loose?
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
I've been on OKC a while. Here's how I see our romantic encounter playing out:

-We'll play OKC tag, where we keep visiting one another's profile but not initiating communication.

-One of us will FINALLY work up the nerve to message the other.

-Based on perceived chemistry, mood, or lack of attractiveness (I'm shallow, sorry 'curvy' girls...), the receptive party probably won't reply.

-If a reply occurs, the conversation will most likely burn out within 3 messages. I'll decide you're desperate, you'll decide I'm weird. Whatever.

-If we somehow magically get past the third message, the number exchange can potentially occur, usually accompanied by a "you don't seem like a stalker/serial killer" joke, depending on the gender of the number offering party.

-We will text a bit, and it will usually fall flat.

-Oh my gosh, the conversation didn't fall flat!? Let's make plans for a date! Someone will probably cancel. (Note: this one is usually the female's fault)

-If an actual date occurs, 3 things can happen: 1) ONE NIGHT STAND! (very common for OKC, women love to hit it and quit it with dudes from the internet); 2) No chemistry (also very common on OKC, people lie... a lot. I'll think you're fat, you'll realize that I'm not actually a mixed race millionaire); or 3) We are actually legitimately interested in one another! Congratulations to us! We are attractive, interesting, and intelligent human beings! Woot woot!

-We make plans for a second date. You probably cancel. I don't tollerate a flake.

-Wow, we made it through multiple dates? Hurrah! We're now in that awesome phase where we see one another for a bit and realize how awkward it is to explain to friends that we met on the internet.

-Eventually stop seeing one another, usually within a month. Probably because I won't let you peg me (sorry ladies). We will both return to The ADHD Theatre of the Genitals that is internet dating.

-We both go have a questionable one night stand with some stranger we meet on OKC after the "breakup".

-Eventually get tired of the constant stream of meaningless sex and find someone to date on POF.
You should message me if
Offer a few tips to help matches win you over.
You're comfortable with polyamory and what it entails. Seriously, read up on it before talking to me.

You'd like to collaborate on some art.

You have an interesting nose. Girls with unique noses kill me. I will fall in love. You have been warned.

You aren't a flake. I am a freelance photographer, so any time I dedicate toward meeting you is time I am taking away from working. Please be respectful.

You're a redditor.

We have an 85% or higher match rating. Lower ones never work out. I have serious faith in the OKC matchmaking algorithm.

You're a gothy, dark, brooding, nerdy, artistic hippie type. If you have colored hair, tattoos, piercings in places other than your ears, want to read sad poetry to me in the dark while we cut ourselves and cry, wear dark makeup, like video games, sing show tunes, meditate, do yoga, etc. please apply.