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34 Carmarthen, UK Woman


I’m looking for

  • Everyone
  • Ages 22–44
  • Located anywhere
  • For new friends, long-term dating, short-term dating

My Details

Last Online
Dec 20
Native American, White
5′ 5″ (1.65m)
Body Type
Mostly anything
Trying to quit
Not at all
Other, and laughing about it
Working on university
Rather not say
Relationship Status
Open relationship
Relationship Type
Strictly non-monogamous
Has a kid, but doesn’t want more
Likes dogs and has cats
English (Fluently), French (Okay), Spanish (Okay)

Similar Users

My self-summary
Write a little about yourself. Just a paragraph will do.
Fearsomely independent, brightly coloured, kinky, non-monogamous, pole dancing, fire spinning, fetish modelling fantasy creature finds herself in need of strokings and approval so arrives at OKCupid to hunt out top quality providers of such things. Do you has strokings?

I think it's fair to say I stand out in a crowd. It works for me though - no point pretending to be someone I'm not. I tried having blonde hair and dressing normally as an experiment for a few months once, and I just wasted a whole lot of time having to filter through all of the bigoted and dull people who wanted to get to know me. I far prefer the attention of the queer and unusual ^.^

When JNDM is available, I like to get strokings and approval from him. You could call him my boyfriend, but then again the fact that we don't plan to "make a life together" because we both have very separate lives 250 miles apart makes that a misleading description. We adore each other, we're committed to looking out for each other and encouraging personal growth and best experiences for each other. It's really good. One of the beautiful things about it is how we provide a benchmark for each other that stops us dating anyone who is less considerate, open, supportive and constantly surprising than we find each other. If you're looking for the one true love of your life and don't want to share, this is the wrong creature for you. If you want someone who will call you every night, look elsewhere. But then again, I'm not ever casual in my actions and attractions... I am like a cat, you can't own me. I'm free, happy, loving, and on the whole FAR more assured of how adorable I am than I would be if I chained a favourite human to me for life, with promises that limited both our experiences to keep. Every time a close friend contacts me I feel privileged to be thought of, whether it's a request for help, a link to something they think will amuse or delight me, or to arrange to chill together because it's been too long. I want to feel the same way about people I fuck. Why should that be considered complicated?

My MBTI is INFP; my enneagram is 7 of 9 and I'm a O90-C2-E53-A32-N3 Big Five. I think you will find those are all better ways of assessing the basic flavour of who and what I am than horoscope nonsense. Essentially, I live in a waking dream. The beauties of that include an eerie intensified empathy that verges on telepathy, and my prized ability to be calm in the face of pretty much anything. When you're not expecting or confined to considering everyday predictable things, you perceive so much more. When you're between worlds enough that the sky turning purple wouldn't faze you, there isn't an accident, an incident or an emergency you can't cope with. Straitened circumstances, commitments, deadlines and other such matters that require long-to-medium-term reining in of impulses though, they're a whole other matter. They are my kryptonite.

Here's a mixed bag of nouns and adjectives that may apply to me in addition to the above: intuitive, psychonaut, irreverent, expressive, epicurean, sensuous, brat, synaesthete, indolent, lover, genius, shameless, incorrigible, sapiosexual, challenging, wilful, sadomasochist, animal, insomniac, mystic, liberal, chimerical, fearless, autodidactic, curious, unfathomable, neko, indomitable, hard femme, quaintrelle, orgasm thief, ambivert
What I’m doing with my life
Don’t overthink this one; tell us what you’re doing day-to-day.
Really enjoying parenthood. I never intend to do it again, so I'm making the most of my one AWESOME kid. She's 11 and has feels about geeky YouTubers that most her age reserve for shitty pop music singers.

Growing and learning! My strength and fitness for one thing - addicted to pole dancing and yoga. And I can eat, spin and walk on fire (and do so every week with my lovely fire performance crew). I really want to learn falconry next. Or maybe rally driving. My mind must grow and learn too: I read textbooks for fun and I love hanging out with seekers and speakers, artists and artistes, scientists and psychonauts, skeptical mystics and wounded healers. People who expand my mind always welcome.

Creating. I don't let the fact I'm not particularly talented stop me from drawing, painting, and writing. Mainly because an evening on my own spent doing any of those things ends in far more satisfaction than slumping in front of a screen. I've found another creative outlet in modelling over the last couple of years - telling a story with my face and body is a challenge I enjoy. I realise this is something people usually do in their twenties and then grow out of in their thirties, but if you hadn't gathered that I'm not standard-issue people by now, there's no hope for you! Besides, in this house we live by the motto "Don't grow up - it's a trap!"

Playing out. Because movement and daylight are as good for the mind as for the body. I like stomping through the woods, breaking into ruins, admiring fleeting moments of beauty like murmurations of starlings filling the sky, and when the weather allows for it I like swimming in the sea. All this is best with sexy, erudite company.
I’m really good at
Go on, brag a little (or a lot). We won’t judge.
Directing my will, courage and intuition to my best advantage. And taking time out for myself in peace when I need to.

Psychedelic hairstyles. Want one?

Fire eating, walking, spinning and playing - I'm learning more of this all the time. You can see me spinning a staff and licking at some fire in this video if you like ^.^

Baking cakes.

Driving - I want to learn rally driving, but for now I'm satisfied to get lost on meandering back roads, singing and admiring the view.

Words. I used to write poetry; maybe I will get into another phase of it.

Empathy, non-judgment and forgiveness. Hate the action, not the person.

Holistic, non-sugar-coated advice with no agenda but love.
Kinks of many kinds.

Interpreting dreams and tarot reading. I like accessing my intuition.

Altered states of consciousness
The first things people usually notice about me
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
"You give off a sense of being interesting and thoughtful and safe" is the latest word, and it came from a lovely aspie lady so cannot be a flattery lie. I'm happy with that.

The more usual words used to describe me are "lively", "exuberant", "full of energy" or "happy and fun", because I am very selective about who gets any of my time and they tend to be people who light me up from the inside every time I set eyes on them... so not necessarily something you would know if I didn't yet know you, and certainly not the first thing you would notice about me. It's also a not entirely accurate description. I spend a lot of time being quite reclusive and quiet. It's just people don't see that.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Help your potential matches find common interests.
Ah yes, the obligatory wall of text that gives you a representative sample but by no means all of my tastes. I can do that.

Comics: Sandman, Death, Judge Dredd, Halo Jones, Watchmen, The Invisibles and Tank Girl. And oh my god I just bought Alan Moore's Lost Girls and it is the best thing ever.

Fiction authors: Neil Gaiman, H. P. Lovecraft, Aldous Huxley, John Wyndham, Stephen Fry, Douglas Adams, Edgar Allen Poe, Oscar Wilde, P. G. Wodehouse, Philip K. Dick, Tanith Lee, Clark Ashton Smith

Poems: Temptation by Nina Cassian, Symptom Recital by Dorothy Parker, The Extasie by John Donne, Invictus by William Ernest Henley, Blake's Eternity, Wordsworth's Perfect Woman, Bitcherel by Eleanor Brown, all of Piet Hein's 'Grooks'

Non-fiction subjects: religion, politics, philosophy, psychology, sociology, astronomy

I have an only *slightly* infrequently updated profile on Goodreads if books are your thing.

Movies: My absolute favourite is Waking Life. If you've seen it, you'll understand what I'm like for better or worse for knowing that. If you haven't and you're a 90%+ match, please do come round for chai and shisha with me and I'll happily watch it again with you. Other honorable mentions go to So I Married an Axe Murderer, A Life Less Ordinary, Mean Girls, Cruel Intentions and Shooting Fish on the hetmonogamous paradigm, non-challenging, mainstream end of things; But I'm a Cheerleader, Stick It, And Then Came Lola, Y Tu Mama Tambien, A Home at the End of the World, Shortbus, The Rocky Horror Picture Show, Priscilla Queen Of The Desert, Better Than Chocolate, Room In Rome and Itty Bitty Titty Committee for inyerface queerness (which I quite often want as an antidote to the aforementioned hetmonogamous system so please if you have any related recommendations fire them my way!); and then some other assorted quirky and silly, or clever and thought-provoking, or refreshingly-good-to-raise-my-daughter-on things: For A Good Time, Call..., Night of the Living Dorks, La Haine, O Brother, Where Art Thou?, Weird Science, Spirited Away, The History Boys, Stardust, The Truman Show, The Butterfly Effect, The Big Lebowski, Dogma, Avril, Thank You for Smoking, Stranger than Fiction, City Of Lost Children, Heathers, Soylent Green, Logan's Run, The Science of Sleep, Time Bandits, Big Fish, Kiki's Delivery Service, My Neighbour Totoro, Howl's Moving Castle, Monty Python's Life of Brian, Ginger Snaps, Nausicaa, Labyrinth, Drop Dead Fred, Beetlejuice, Tideland, Pump Up The Volume, Stigmata, Mr Nobody, A Scanner Darkly, Life Force, Altered States, Tank Girl, Everything is Illuminated, Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind, Barbarella, Attack the Block, Paprika, Baise Moi, Withnail and I... and if you agree that Dredd 3D was AWESOME because you could resolve each scene into frames like a genuine 2000AD story in your mind's eye as it played out, and you grinned like a lunatic in the cinema, you get a high five ^.^

TV Shows: I have regularly revisited DVDs of the following: Brit comedy stuff Black Books, Spaced, Look Around You, Red Dwarf, Smack the Pony, Stressed Eric, Rex the Runt, Blackadder, Jeeves and Wooster, I'm Alan Partridge, Peep Show, The Armando Iannucci Shows, The Fast Show, The Day Today, Brass Eye , Monkey Dust, Nighty Night, The Thick of It, The Trip, Father Ted and others; a fair bit of the best stuff that happened on TV in my childhood so my daughter doesn't miss out on them - remember Round the Twist, Eerie Indiana and Are You Afraid of the Dark? And I do have a taste for anime - the silly reverse-harem series like Fruits Basket, Ouran High School Host Club are BEST, so are Black Butler, Cat Planet Cuties, Squidgirl, and Baka and Test. I tend to tire easily of violent plotlines, with one or two exceptions: I really REALLY like Rin: Daughters of Mnemosyne. My favourite TV show of all time is Lexx. As with my favourite movie, if you know it, that probably tells you a lot about me. However, I don't watch TV as it's broadcast at all any more, haven't done for years, and it kinda freaks me out if I walk into one of those houses where it's always on. Orwellian nightmare box of adverts, stop it.

I care for TED talks a great deal. Especially Susan Cain's one about introverts. Amanda Palmer's one is quite good too. Oh and that one about the Power of Vulnerability by Brené Brown. Everyone should watch that. Twice. What's your favourite?

Music: Lamb are my absolute favourite thing to listen to ever ever ever - Andy does the quirkiest prettiest things with noise, slightly different on every album but enough the same peace-and-quiet-power-inducing feels to keep me from shock; while Lou sings and writes lyrics that express so much intensity and love I feel remade by her... for similar chilled goosebumpiness I like Ladytron, Red Snapper, Laika, Portishead (though Dummy is the only album they made I really like), Massive Attack, Tricky, Phaeleh, Dub Tractor, DJ Shadow (including the UNKLE stuff), All India Radio, Future Sound of London, etc... I also enjoy the stuff of my youth on occasion, which comprises punky stuff like Rancid, Bad Religion, The Ramones, The Bloodhound Gang; a dash of metal and Britrock - think Pantera, Sepultura, The Wildhearts and Therapy?; and all the usual Mancunian acts you might expect from a girl who grew up in the grim North (oh yeah, might have forgotten to mention - I've ended up in South-West Wales for the last ten years but I am originally from Manchester), so The Stone Roses, The Smiths, The Verve, Mr Scruff and James - along with random others too numerous to mention - check them out at if music is your thing! Actually, one more deserves a mention, come to think of it - if you play Flux Pavilion at me, I will get hot and bothered. Masturbation with headphones on, it leads to odd Pavlovian reactions.

Food: good coffee destroyed by a ton of sugar, salted milk chocolate or liquorice dynamite, nachos with stuff melted on them, chai latte made like a potion in a big heavy pan, bonfire toasted marshmallows, pizzatoast (I'm the fucking queen of tasty grilled snacks after years of honing the art), warm kirsch soaked cherries with ice cream, cinnamon bagels dripping with hot butter, endless variations on the theme of banana bread, sweet potato fries dipped in houmous, great big green olives and crunchy pickled onions, jalapeno hot sauce and blue cheese on ginger biscuits.
The six things I could never do without
Think outside the box. Sometimes the little things can say a lot.
Feline company. I have four cats.

Control over my image; self-expression. Conformity makes me feel dead inside.

Incense and soft lighting. It's all about the trip hop and candlelight chez Mog, more often than not.

My car. Driving is not just a way of getting around for me, it's head medicine. If you don't understand, I don't mind as long as you make your peace with it somehow - if nothing else you can always depend on me for a lift.

Time outdoors. The sea, the woods, the mountains... I want to see the sky and feel the breeze!

Coloured pencils (they give me ASMR and calm me right down when I feel overstimulated and out of place)
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Global warming, lunch, or your next vacation… it’s all fair game.
Politics of the liberal, feminist, queer variety. The obliteration of gender and sexuality norms.

Synergetics and Bucky Fuller flavoured world peace.

Psychosynthesis and dissociation.

Why it is my highest matches seem so often to be militant atheists. I'd describe myself more as a pantheist if anything (for the uninitiated: "pantheism can be understood as asserting that God is distinct from the world and its natural contents but nonetheless contained or immanent within them, perhaps in the way in which water is contained in a saturated sponge. God is everything and everywhere, on this version, by virtue of being within everything. This is immanentist pantheism; it involves that claim that nature contains within itself, in addition to its natural elements, an immanent supernatural and divine element.")

What a genius Jung was. When I'm not describing myself as a pantheist, I describe myself as 'Jungian' when people want my belief system laid out for them.

How enormous the galaxy is. And the universe. And how very sweet it is to be so infinitesimally small that really, those things that bother me might as well not exist.

When Betelgeuse is going to hurry up and explode.


My lovers. Sometimes in a hazy, lazy, sweet memories way; sometimes while touching myself in an impure manner; sometimes plotting some way of getting the best out of my next time with them.
On a typical Friday night I am
Netflix and takeout, or getting your party on — how do you let loose?
Exploring beaches or woodlands, lighting bonfires and watching stars in the summer.. or curled up in my candlelit living room reading a book and listening to trip hop or watching a movie with a cat on my lap in the winter.
You should message me if
Offer a few tips to help matches win you over.
You're over an 80% match only. Anyone below that, their messages get filtered and don't even reach my inbox so you may as well not bother. People who don't match at least 80% of my ethics and attitudes can pay me if they want to talk to me here.

You've seen Lucy around here. I've not seen her in about five years and I miss her terribly.

You understand the concept of relationship anarchy and you aren't going to be weird about me being really quite a solo/independent creature.

You need a lesson in taking this temporary situation we call life a little less seriously.

You're a girl like me. There aren't so many of us about.

You're a sysadmin, code monkey, or other techie type. Yeah it's a weird kink, but as far as I'm concerned you people who do that matrix shit with computers are all WIZARDS and it makes me come over all quietly inappropriate. No, really.

CRUCIAL: You have something more interesting to say than "hi, how are you today?" - I rarely do smalltalk with friends and family, I'm certainly going to ignore it from strangers.

...and if you don't mind that sometimes I reply immediately whereas at other times it takes days or weeks. The same thing can be said of my movie watching, reading or even housework habits. Phases, cycles and inconsistencies in all activities.

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