I'm a geek gamer chick. I'm tall. I'm open-minded. I have bodyart. I want more. I have intensely blue eyes. I love karaoke. I love analog RPGs. I go to GenCon and Nuke-Con. I play Ticket to Ride, Settlers of Catan, Empire Builder, Apples to Apples, and other seemingly geek-niche games. I love hackysack, but can never find enough people with whom to kick. I'm a named hasher (look "Hash House Harriers" up on Wikipedia for info about that). I'm in Amtgard. You bet your sweet ass I am a turtle. I have the coolest stuffed plush Cthulhu. I create and sell geek bumper stickers, primarily referencing World of Warcraft. I have a cat named Xander. I'm intelligent. I'm a stickler for spelling and grammar. I grew up in NYC. I'm an avid reader. I know where my towel is. I am wry and acerbic. I'm passionate. I'm adventurous. I practice ethical non-monogamy (aka polyamory)... well, not so much practice anymore, but still very strongly believe the principles. I'm bisexual. I'm overweight, but I'm told I'm sexy as hell. I am aggressive. I don't have time for people who aren't well suited to my personality because I'd rather invest it in the people who are.

I have a blog, a website, a myspace profile, a flickr account with lots more photos, IM handles, and lots of other stuff. Get to know me better, and I'll share them.

My desire is to one day be rich enough to own my own sushi chef and have a tap that dispenses hot lobster bisque. Yes, most of my ambitions are centered around eating.

I'm also working on being as ethical as I possibly can be in my hedonism. Being motivated almost entirely by the pursuit of enjoyment is not an inherently bad thing, so long as one is mindful of one's responsibilities.

Objective analysis.

Most of my friends know that if they ask my opinion of whatever is going wrong in their lives, that I will supply a no-nonsense summary of what the problem is as I see it, what can be done to fix it, and what I believe will actually occur. For some reason, they occasionally keep asking my opinion. Either I'm doing something right, I have masochistic friends, or I'm in complete denial about the exchange rate for my two cents.

Personality trait - my sarcasm.

Physical traits - either my Jewish hair, my Jewish nose, my icy blue eyes, or maybe my big rack (though it's not as big as it used to be, alas).

Authors: Kurt Vonnegut (the man for whom the term "lovable curmudgeon" was created), Steven Brust (the Vlad Taltos series is well worth reading), Robin Hobb (one of the best fantasy authors out there), Augusten Burroughs (I only recently discovered him, and he's my kind of crazy), Robert Jordan (though I knew he was going to kick off before finishing the Wheel of Time series - I swear that man was the written-word equivalent of George Lucas - great ideas; but clumsy, overblown execution. Gah!), Roger Zelazny (but stay away from the stuff other people have written based in his world - ickypoo), Douglas Adams (42, damnit), Dorothy Parker (snarky!), Terry Pratchett (Read. Discworld. Now.), Laurell K. Hamilton (and what type of preternatural creature won't Anita screw??), J.K. Rowling (Best children's writer since Madeline L'Engle), Dave Duncan (the series The Great Game was a really enjoyable read, and there were a bunch of other titles I read repeatedly when I was a teenager), J.R.R. Tolkien (not for style, but out of respect for a pioneer), Jean M. Auel (whose main character single-handedly came up with every innovation, ever... and had a lot of sex), Neal Stephenson (except for the Baroque bullshit), and George R. R. Martin (if only for his copious use of the word 'cunt', which will forever and always be my favorite swear word. It's one of the only two that still make people shudder, and I'd get my ass kicked for using the other.)

Movies: Office Space, Super Troopers, Harold & Kumar Go to White Castle, Real Genius, PCU, Idiocracy, A Hard Day's Night, 50 First Dates, Down With Love, The Guru, Boondock Saints, Run Lola Run, The Italian Job, Ocean's Eleven (both versions), Orgazmo, any Kevin Smith movie, any Coen brothers movie, assorted musicals, National Treasure (surprisingly enjoyable), Serenity, and my all-time fave - The Princess Bride. Oh yeah, and Soylent Green is people!

Television: 24; Lost; House; Bones; Battlestar Galactica (the new version); Firefly (the best of Joss Whedon's work, and one of the best shows ever on television); Buffy the Vampire Slayer (I absolutely love the style of the dialogue, and often find myself talking like that. Plus, Willow is t3h h0ttx0rz); Angel; Chuck; Extreme Makeover, Home Edition (it makes me cry like an infant); Drawn Together (I love irreverent, offensive humor); Venture Brothers; Sealab 2021; Law and Order (any incarnation, but the original is the best); No Reservations (Anthony Bourdain is strangely sexy in a goofy-snarky way); Project Runway, Top Chef, and Supernanny (I'm so ashamed. I used to dislike reality TV immensely, but it's got the hypnotic power of a bug zapper. Since the writer's strike began, it's slowly and insidiously sucked me in. If I could use a smaller font for the reality shows, I would.); and others I'll get around to adding to the list eventually.

Music: Moxy Fruvous, Great Big Sea, TMBG, Flight of the Conchords, Cake, Cowboy Mouth, Pink Floyd, Tenacious D, Flogging Molly, Me First and the Gimme Gimmes, Muckafurgason, BNL, The Bobs, Weird Al, Showtunes, Tom Lehrer, 80s stuff

Foods: Sushi, lobster (and lobster bisque, of course), raw oysters, Ipswitch steamer clams, salmon (I now begin to wonder if moving to a land-locked state was a smart idea), fried calamari (especially if it has the scary yummy tentacle bits), bun cha gio thit nuong, dim sum, and Godiva dark chocolate dessert cups.

A book to read, cats to cuddle, chocolate, soap and water, a broadband internet connection and a computer on which to use it, and occasional privacy. Yeah, technically the pairs make it greater than six things, but if there were a "6 items or fewer" lane in the supermarket, I'd have the chutzpa to go through it with these items.

Stuff... and things, too. For instance:

Do anemic people have trouble being ironic?

People talk about "cooking light." How would one prepare light? Would it be a good or bad idea to use pyrex?

Unfortunately, my hours at work changed to M-F 3:30-Midnight. This has caused my social life to change drastically. Therefore my "Friday Nights" typically start at 12:30ish Saturday AM. Additionally, I am very, very happily paired with a wonderful man who has the same hours that I do, and we spend many of our waking hours together. Still many of the items from my list below still apply:

Reading a book and getting so engrossed that I forget that I have had to pee for the last 6 chapters, or cuddling with my kitty and marveling over how unconditionally he loves me, or running my little workers ragged by making them collect resources for my empire in Ikariam.org, or singing karaoke and trying to find new songs to add to my repertoire, or playing a board game, or wishing that there were an Omaha chapter of Improv Everywhere so I could go on their awesome missions, or working on regaining top score in my Wii Fit games (the only way to keep me exercising regularly is to make it social and/or competitive. I have my friends use my Wii Fit and give me scores to shoot for.), or browsing the web with StumbleUpon, or hanging out with my awesome friends, or surfing through OkCupid and very occasionally collecting a new friend, or updating my auctions (when I am not too lazy to do so) and wishing I were actually making a profit instead of barely breaking even.

I was considering getting into swing dancing, but since the first time I tried (what an exercise in humility!) the gumption meter hasn't reached the correct level for me to actually go and do it again.

I drink olive juice right out of the jar and love it, and I'm the one who stunk up the bathroom.

...you read my profile instead of just looking at the pictures
...you're an intelligent, literate, funny, emotionally self-sufficient neophile
...you think geek chicks rawk
...you have figured out that though I am poly in my heart, I am "off the market" in practice, and are okay with friendship only
...you also work mids and are looking for someone to hang out with in the wee hours when sane people are asleep
...(and only if) you're not a moron.