Warning: TL;DR and most of it is bullshit anyways. If you read a little bit of the profile and think we'll make friends, message me. I don't expect someone to read all of this dribble.

Random facts about me: I've grown up my whole life in poorer neighborhoods. You think that would make me some kind of badass, but it hasn't. It just made me a homebody.

I'd like to find a nocturnal loser who stays up all night playing video games, watching old sitcoms, and listening to music. We gotta have something in common after all.

I don't like eating, but yet I'm still chubby. It's amazing to me. If anyone is reading this and can tell me how I hate eating, yet still have trouble losing weight, please tell me.

I love playing RTS games and pretending that I'm an evil oppressor. I don't actually vote Republican though, so why do I like being so damned evil? I especially like Warcraft 3. I don't like it as much as I do sex with women, but it's in the top five.

I use to say here: "I'm totally Libertarian", but I'm more of a fascist now (wow, wasn't that a complete 360!) I blame it on all the RTS games, honestly. They show you how fun military governorship can truly be.

I'd like to find a liberal, pro-choice woman who supports pot, but loves Brad Paisley and metal music. If you exist, you're a wonderful and unique creature and I wish more people would emulate your individualism (irony intended.)

I was asked once: "If you were in possession of nukes, would you use them under any circumstances?" Yes I would. I would pull my pants down around my ankles and jump bare-ass'd up and down on the button. This is why I'm not a politician, folks. If I could, I would make the button into an Atari 2600-espue joystick so I could pleasure myself while I kill some culture and all it's women and children. Genocide and dead children, that's what anal sex means to me!

That's long enough.

Kinda vaguely going to college. I'm not really right now (taking a break to be a slacker). I still say I'm going to college though, cause that excuses me from making any real decisions about my future.

Yo' momma! Sorry, every profile needs one.

I most often have an over sized man-beard on my face. I'm kind of a beard aficionado, which is more than a little, weird I know. As soon as I could grow facial hair though, I was really excited to just watch it and see how long it would grow. Sometimes I shave it though, so I can watch it grow out again. I also play with it quite a lot.

I think the first thing people notice about me is that I'm weird.

Favorite books: I'm American, fuck that reading nonsense. You want me to reach me with your artistic vision, then make a movie! And put lots of sex and violence in it for fuck's sake!

(Note: that was sarcasm. I made this note, because despite your well-read brain, you couldn't detect really obvious sarcasm. You should be ashamed!)

Music: I listen to heavy metal; Thrash with some boundary-smashing guitar riffs, lunatic double bass drumming and battering basslines is this thrasher's zombie brew of choice. Spiritually Christian, uplifting death metal; Old school, conservative progressive metal and

This is such a stupid and pretentious question. They don't mean "name six things that if taken away would cause your untimely demise", but rather "name stupid things that make teenage girls squeal". Working on that assumptio, I present my six things:

Cell phones, text messaging, emo boys, shitty rock music, Family Guy quotes (I really do like Family Guy, which is sad because it's not the only thing I have in common with teenager girls), and that thing I keep under my bed.

Mostly stuff that'll ensure I remain single for the rest of my life. Game design and theory, meaning and nuance in movies, the history channel and most documentaries. I'm still pondering the complexities of "Happiness". It was a mind fuck of a movie but I liked it. If you could enlighten me on this movie, I'd appreciate it.

Will I ever be able to live past my idols and influences? Is it even possible to surpass what put you in motion in the first place? I mean lets say I make music (I don't want to, it's just an example), could I ever legitimately be better than my influences? Would my influences just increase in greatness having inspired me in the first place?

That's a small sampling of the ramblings that go on inside my mind. What anymore?

Same thing I'm doing on a typical Thursday night.

Okay, ignoring the stupidity of this question, I'll try and answer as honest as possible (and in turn sabotage my chances of finding someone, thanks OKC!)

I masturbate more times a day than I shake hands with strangers; I think most people are fucking stupid, but more and more frequently little things are happening that's making me realize that I'm not much brighter than them; I almost killed myself making toast (message me for the grizzly details); I've danced naked to several disco songs; Even in this economy, the buyer's confidence in the market is higher than mine in myself.

I like ending things on a sad note.

I thought that's why I filled out this profile in the first place.