31 New York, NY
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My self-summary
Typical neurotic liberal New Yorker. I like cafes that are open late and accidentally making eye contact on the subway, then pretending I'm staring ponderously off into the middle distance. People ask me, "Why do you take your coffee black?" I don't know, why travel to another country? Why talk to strangers? Why go skydiving? Why even bother getting up in the morning?

I'm a nerd.
What I’m doing with my life
Slowly becoming Larry David.

I connect well with a lot of different, eclectic types, but I've never felt that I've found my people. So, I go to open mic nights, I listen to music, I play music, I read books, I walk places. I people watch on the subway and wonder what their deal is.

Please consult this web comic for further information.
I’m really good at
Making dirty jokes at inappropriate times.

Knowing where to eat.

Driving too fast.

Making French toast.
The first things people usually notice about me
I can get cereal off the top shelf for them.

People always ask me for directions. I once asked why, and I was told it was because "you're wearing glasses, and you're tall, and you're carrying a box." (I was carrying a box.)
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Vonnegut because he's a humanist. Bukowski because he's a drunk. Fante because no one's heard of him. Also lots of jazz biographies that I can bore you with.

I watch TV shows that aren't airing anymore (Arrested Development, The Wire, Seinfeld, Daria, Party Down) and some that are (Game of Thrones, Orange is the New Black, Broad City, House of Cards).

I own a vinyl record player because I enjoy tedious, expensive, outdated technology.
The six things I could never do without
A watch
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Subversive/pulp films from the 60s and 70s.


Girls with glasses.

Gender/racial/social inequality.

Existential terror.
On a typical Friday night I am
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I live for the moments when you order takeout by yourself and the people at the restaurant put two sets of utensils in the bag as if to say, "Yes, clearly all this food must be for two people."

It isn't. It's for me.
You should message me if
... you like coffee.
... you like Otis Redding.
... you feel like sharing a bottle of cheap wine.
... you are Elaine Benes.

I'm probably nicer than this profile makes me seem.
I've also been really beardy lately.