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33 Berkeley, CA Man


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I’m looking for

  • Women
  • Ages 18–40
  • Near me
  • For new friends, long-term dating, short-term dating

My details

Last online
Sep 28
Open relationship
Relationship Type
Mostly non-monogamous
5' 8" (1.73m)
Body Type
Atheism but it’s not important
Post grad
Might want kids
English (Fluently), French (Somewhat), C++ (Somewhat), German (Somewhat), LISP (Somewhat)
My self-summary
Write a little about yourself. Just a paragraph will do.
Life is very, very good. I want to live as much of it as I can!

On the quantity side, that translates to me being an immortalist. I want to live forever - or at least remove the restriction of an externally determined expiration date. And I think it might be possible with technologies on the horizon; see, for instance, Aubrey de Grey's TED Talks. I think that's really exciting and wonderful!

(And yes, I know the ten or so arguments claiming that death is a blessing, immortality would be a burden, etc. (Yes, about ten or so. It would seem that no one comes up with anything new in this domain.) I'll gladly explain why I feel totally nonplussed by these arguments if you're curious and ask. And you don't have to agree with me for us to get along - but if you totally disagree and are utterly certain of your position, we might have a problem.)

On the quality side, I am very interested in most things. Some of my favorite passions are science and psychology/people - but I spend my time doing a wide range of things. (I'm writing this in a few spare moments before an aerial silks class. Why not?)

Honesty and openness form a huge part of how I function. When talking about important emotional stuff like whether a given behavior is okay or not, subtlety, lies, and beating around the bush don't sit well with me. I think it's important to be kind in communications, but I also think it's very important to be straightforward in relationships. Hiding the truth in favor of protecting feelings is a big no-no for me. You won't get that from me, and I ask the same from you.
What I’m doing with my life
Don’t overthink this one; tell us what you’re doing day-to-day.
I just finished a Ph.D. in math & science education. (That's basically a sub-field of psychology. I studied the psychology of mathematics, basically.) I suddenly find myself in possession of the 30% of my brain that had been dedicated to nothing but that for the last 3+ years. :-D

I'm a cofounder for the Center for Applied Rationality. I won't try to summarize that here; instead, look at the website if you're curious:

I'm also a martial artist. To a first approximation, my main training for the last 23 years has been in aikido. In September 2012 I'm planning to start a group to apply the scientific method to work out significant improvements in the art (e.g., better training methods to keep the amygdala from going berserk when someone swings a fist at your face or when there's a gang of people swarming you). I might call it "martial science" because that makes me giggle, but the popular name in the rationalist community right now is "rationalist fight club." (And for your daily dose of meta humor: "The first rule of rationalist fight club is: you do not talk about the first rule of rationalist fight club!")

I think I'll take up parkour. Because it's awesome! I'm also told that rock-climbing is popular among people I relate to, so I'll probably try that soon.

I enjoy doing geeky games with my friends. Yes, that includes roleplaying like D&D, though I prefer more artistic settings like White Wolf's World of Darkness. (I just encountered "Changeling: the Lost." I'm really excited to test it out!) I also like card and board games like Dominion, Citadels, 7 Wonders, and Puerto Rico.

It's hard to fit the universe in this little text box, so I'll stop there.
I’m really good at
Go on, brag a little (or a lot). We won’t judge.
Tweaking systems in small ways to make them much better. Example: aikido training. I figured out a few simple adjustments to the training method so that those I teach on a weekly basis for about three months seem to do about as well as I remember people in my dojo doing after their first year. (It turns out, unsurprisingly, that if you rip out mystical explanations and you replace them with instructions people can actually follow, it's a lot easier to get it right!)

I'm also really good at logical/mathematical stuff. This is mostly a natural knack. I'm not as careful a mathematical thinker as many others who have this knack, though. (There's some question on OK Cupid that's something like "STEAL is to STALE as 89456 is to..." and I got it wrong at first because I wasn't paying attention to the 8 and 9.)

Learning in general falls in here. I seem to be a knowledge sponge. Not so much for trivia, but systems-level stuff most certainly. I remember a lot about the theory behind Chinese medicine, for instance, because it's a system whose patterns I can follow - but I tend to forget specifics like which herbs supposedly increase Dampness or whatever. (Not that I say Chinese medicine is "correct." I've seen some good effects from some applications of it. Those could easily be placebo. But hey, if placebo can cure my wife's asthma attacks, then I'm all for it!)
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Help your potential matches find common interests.
I tend to read more non-fiction than fiction. By a lot. But I love both. If OK Cupid suggested you look at my profile, you probably relate to my pain in having to select a bare few books as favorites. There's so much cool stuff out there!

* The Harry Potter series by J.K. Rowling
* Harry Potter and the Methods of Rationality by Eliezer Yudkowsky (yes, a fanfic - and seriously one of the best books I've ever read)
* The Black Jewels trilogy by Anne Bishop
* The His Dark Materials trilogy by Phillip Pullman (but the ending upset me for three days after I finished it!)

* Thinking, Fast and Slow by Daniel Kahneman
* Mindsight by Daniel Siegel
* Wisdom of the Enneagram by Don Richard Riso and Russ Hudson (but beware the fluff - you have to be willing to put up with the mind projection fallacy to extract the good from this work, but I think it's worth it)
* Just about anything by Richard Feynman. My favorite might have been The Pleasure of Finding Things Out.

* The Matrix probably remains my favorite movie. Its two sequels can inflict a parallel universe that doesn't involve me, though.
* Independence Day is powerful to me.
* Powder makes me cry every time I see it.
* Troll Hunters was a really cool indie film I saw around a year ago. I keep thinking back to it, it was so bizarre and captivating.
* The Avengers was really, really cool. Joss Whedon is an incredible artist.

* Firefly
* Dollhouse
* Pushing Daisies
* Monk

* Faun
* Nightwish
* Metallica
* Breaking Benjamin
* Loreena McKennitt
* Sarah McLachlan
* Vivaldi
* Beethoven

Yes, please! :-D

Red or dark meat, lots of veggies. That feels best, and my tastes have come to align pretty well with what's healthy for me. (And yes, I've tried being vegetarian. It's very, very bad for me in particular. Regretfully, really; I'd prefer being vegetarian if it were reasonable for me.)

Dairy doesn't sit well with me at all. I'm not lactose intolerant, but dairy will mess with my energy, mood, sleep, and immune system. So while I love things like cheese, butter, Indian cream-based sauces, cheesecake, and ice cream, I tend to avoid all those pretty diligently.

I like Asian food in general and Japanese food in particular. (Part of this came from avoiding dairy. There's almost none in most Asian food.) But really, I just love trying new things as long as I get enough good, solid protein regularly.
The six things I could never do without
Think outside the box. Sometimes the little things can say a lot.
Well, if I really find there's something I can't do without, I try to find a way to loosen my attachment with mindfulness and cognitive-behavioral techniques. Attachments at that level of strength practically beg for what Albert Ellis colorfully called "musturbation," which lends itself to drama without payoff. As I don't like drama and really don't like no-payoff, I endeavor to avoid this.

But! I certainly have things I would very strongly prefer not to do without. I'll list six of those:

* My compassion
* My friends
* My intelligence
* My health
* My passion
* My memory
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Global warming, lunch, or your next vacation… it’s all fair game.
* Projects I'm currently working on. At the moment that includes rationality education and martial science.

* Fun things to try. This autumn I think I'll learn more physics, learn parkour, and get better at French. I might get back into lucid dreaming by around November. We'll see!

* How people work. What makes us happy? How do our minds work? Can we make ourselves more effective? I try to tackle these and similar questions via science rather than philosophy, although I seem to be more willing than many rationalists are to look at self-help material for hypotheses to test. (See, e.g., the Enneagram.)

* Self-improvement. I mean this in specific ways, though, like hacking my eyesight to try to get rid of my need for corrective lenses, and making myself better at empathy (in the "model others' emotions" sense). Basically applying the "how people work" point to myself.