Write a little about yourself. Just a paragraph will do.
On the dark side of the moon and out of radio contact.
Turn-ons: Loud music, hooded tops, skeletons, masks, shallow
graves, Santi Cazorla, 420, cartoons, Joanna Lumley, screaming,
Turn-offs: Daylight, people, cops, Arsene Wenger, weak rope, police
dogs, helicopters, your father.
My sexiest feature? Probably my compassion. Or my tenacity. Or the
fact my chest is hairless and as clean as a tub of Sudocrem.
My Myers-Brigg type is BAMF.
What I’m doing with my life
Don’t overthink this one; tell us what you’re doing day-to-day.
I work for an IT recycling company. I know that screams "Nerd!" but
the more you know about me and my incredibly dodgy employers, the
more you'll know that is false. It's the best job in the world, I
get paid to smash up Apple Mac's and look at your 'My Pictures'
folders. You'd be amazed how many people actually keep porn
Working with computers also enables me to participate in 3 of my
greatest passions on a daily basis; sitting down, surfing the
internet and shouting at inanimate objects. It also enables me to
download high-definition pornography at around about 30Mbps and
maintain a 24/7 connection to World of Warcraft.
Geek jokes upset me and I do not get turned on by technological
advancements, although this might change when they finally design a
robot that gives the perfect blowjob while streaming live Arsenal
matchs on a HUD.
I'm sad to say I've had to take a second job in these austere times
and so have recently started selling speed & mephedrone to the
school kids around here. Business is pretty good, so good infact
that I've had to start cutting in rat-poison & household
cleaners so I don't run out. I've also started sniffing glue down
at the playing fields and mugging elderly people with my boys in
the ASDA car-park crew.
I’m really good at
Go on, brag a little (or a lot). We won’t judge.
not returning calls.
making unfunny jokes/writing bad profiles.
The first things people usually notice about me
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
The blue air around me, the hot head & cold shoulders, the
third eye. Tattoo's, which are hard to miss. After that would be
the stupid grin that makes it look like I'm up to no good, which is
usually the case.
Later, they will notice my ass, which is fantastic. I like to keep
it in shape by sitting down as much as possible and doing
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Help your potential matches find common interests.
My favourite music is heavy metal, followed by drum and bass and
hip-hop but I'll listen to & appreciate pretty much anything
due to the fact I djed back in the day and was a bit of a vinyl
junkie. Just like my mind and wardobe, my record collection has few
frills and is second to none. All three haven't been updated in the
last 10 years either.
Ask me about my love for Kool Keith & Kriss Kross. I love
checking out new bands and genres, and get hyped about discovering
awesome musicians I've never heard of before.
I've also played guitar on and off for about 15+ years now and have
a mini-studio setup at home which is pretty awesome.
Music's always a good conversation topic with me because I can talk
for hours about gigs/festivals & bands I love and even longer
about those I hate. If you're the same I'm sure we'll get on great
The six things I could never do without
Think outside the box. Sometimes the little things can say a lot.
One Directions address
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Global warming, lunch, or your next vacation… it’s all fair game.
when do Arsenal stop being shit again?
On a typical Friday night I am
Netflix and takeout, or getting your party on — how do you let loose?
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
Last week, I "digitally enhanced" a girls picture on here, to see
what her T-shirt was hiding. I wasn't let down!
You should message me if
Offer a few tips to help matches win you over.
You're classy, smart and a little bit crazy with a sense of
Who are you looking for?
This helps us know who to show you on OkCupid.