Most likely, I am not the person for you.

Many people will scream egomaniac, weirdo, or any other variety of ad hominem attacks on me for my views. Im all reality, most of those types are just bitter that they're not able to make the cut, and can't accept their glaring mediocrity.

Here's the deal, I'm tired of dealing with average. If you're average, you bore me, quickly. Now, like most people out there, you probably think you're a unique little snowflake with your own special gifts and talents, and I'm sorry to say but 99.9% of you are fooling yourselves.

My self summary? I'm well above average, and I always have been. I slapped off the manacles of mediocrity this society claps on us at birth a long time ago, so I don't have much room in my life for those who haven't shed their bonds yet. I don't have time for people's herd conformity, lack of perspective or disingenuousness. This most likely includes you.

Exploring those lesser traveled waters of the human experience. Delving into the placid crystal waters of pure logic and thought as well as sailing the stormy seas of emotion and sensation. Living to find new heights of expectation, excitement and joy and facing unafraid the abyssal depths of fear, sorrow and torment.

Anything I put my mind to. If I can picture it, I can do it, and with some practice, I can do it damn well. Lists are boring, and if you're anything like me, you're not interested in them. If you want entertainment, go watch another bland sitcom.

I'm unusually gifted at getting you to tell me the most intimate details of your life story; how you think, how you act, even how you fuck. I'll get inside your head and tell you just who you are.

I'm at ease and peaceful with a certain grace that belies my current appearance. People will often mention my voice, presence, sense of humor or warmth.

Devouring books is a long standing pastime of mine. Everything is open for reading as long as it's not any of the current crop of homogenized pop culture feel good crap that lines the shelves at your local big chain book store. Ephemeral fluff like that if a nice distraction at times, but I love literature, something with meaning, something with essence that pulls your mind into new directions and down dark alleys of imagination.

Movies by and large aren't worth watching, not even documentaries anymore, which is why so many people seem to eat them up and base their lives off of them. Suffice it to say, about the only shows worth watching come from the Playboy channel and occasionally A&E.

Music has the unique ability to defy limits and labels and even the most dumbed down hip hop bebop swill has a potential message. What music do I like? I like good music, something inspired that comes from the heart, the soul, and places lower in the anatomy.

Food, that feast for the senses and base of all practical magic. Simply, I'll try anything, and having stuck to that simple principle has granted me so many wondrous sensations and experiences. The fiery yet homey spirit on good Indian dishes, to the hearty yet delicate Middle Eastern fare; the tomato covered goodness of Russian cuisine; the absolutely simple yet layered flavors of authentic Chinese in all its forms; even to the quintessential American hot dog. Of all of them, Chicago's hot dogs sets the standard that no other place can surpass by any means.

Just no mac & cheese, that swill is utter shit.

Cognitive reasoning ability
great sex with foreplay that lasts for hours
touch - mental, physical, spiritual or otherwise
sensation
mental stimulation
winter

Everything.

... and music. I've tried over 13 different musical instruments (including flute) in my time and settled on only two now, but slowly teaching myself violin as well. Everythign I see has its own sound track playing in life. Its own internal tune, and the art of music is teasing the essences of that inner song out into the world for teh rest to see. A player just plays, but a musician, a musician paints scenes and landscapes in sound and adds in teh detail that brings them alive.

Sleeping, reading or creating something. I don't have a need to pick a specific day to go out and watch people get sloppy drunk on overpriced domestic beer and make asses out of themselves. If you find me out and about on Fridays, I'm either on a new journey, or tearing up some bar musically with whatever band I'm in.

I have an odd habit of acquiring stalkers. I'm not generally given to grand displays of showmanship. Ask away if you want to know something, if you're lucky, I might even reply if you can tell me something of interest.

You understand how dumbed down this whole profile is for the benefit of the drooling masses. You stopped understanding this world a ling time ago. You don't need someone who will let you have your space and be yourself because of your unshakable sense of self. You get wet at the prospect of a new intellectual pursuit or experience. You like it in the ass at times. You realize there is more to life than simply accumulating money and mass produced trinkets. You've read books more than 100 years old that are not on a high school or college curriculum. You're not here looking for salvation, a leg up, a new spark to spice up your current drab existence or more than a 30 minute drive away.

Please don't bother sending messages about how much of a bad person I am or how great you are, etc. I love printing them out and passing them out at work for entertainment and I'm low on ink at the moment.

If you don't understand the humor of all this, you probably won't understand me. Move along.