OkCupid is Free Online Dating.

I was talking with someone and we started to go back on a few of my antics over the past few years. So yet again, here we are, sitting in a restaurant posting on teh internet. I proudly bring you our latest creation. 69 more things Rich isn't allowed to do.. ever.

1. Not allowed to post bulletins on myspace when I'm supposed to be doing paperwork.

2. not allowed to introduce myself as "Lord Satan" to family members.

3. not allowed to invent "The Butt Club" for office workers.

4. not allowed to invent "The Butt Club" for prison inmates

5. not allowed to dance disco... ever

6. I am not allowed to post unflattering pictures of my bosses on the company website

7. I will take the hand grenade off my desk.

8. not allowed to grill lettuce.

9. not allowed to use my ventriloquism skills during company meetings

10. not allowed to post the web site logs in company emails

11. not allowed to fake power outages because my office is too hot.

12. not allowed to threaten the use of black magic.

13. not allowed to hit on anyone drunker than me

14. not allowed to conduct forklift races.

15. not allowed to give people rude words for passwords.

16. not allowed to hide behind the file cabinets when work assignments are given.

17. not allowed to call myself "the johnny fucking cash of direct mail".

18. not allowed to pipe the chargen port to the print spooler overnight

19. not allowed to ask people if they're smoking crack during conference calls

20. not allowed to respond to "can I ask you a favor" with 'no'

21. not allowed to jump out of garbage cans on garbage day

22. not allowed to wear my "well hung drywall company" t-shirt around grandma

23. not allowed to wear to take my foot off the gas on teh expressway to irritate tail gaters

24. not allowed to take corners on two wheels in the jeep

25. not allowed to make penguin jokes around nuns

26. not allowed to hit on nuns

27. not allowed to point out the bosses computer ineptitude

28. not allowed to change the server clock ahead 5 minutes each day for a month.

29. not allowed to impersonate clergy from non existent religions

30. not allowed to touch a defibrulator... ever

31. not allowed to photocopy body parts

32. not allowed to photoshop body parts and leave them in the tray

33. not allowed to throw grated parmesan cheese in the heating vents

34. not allowed to set anyone's desktop, even my own to the goatse image

35. not allowed to make goatse icons

36. not allowed to use the intercom to ask for something to drink

37. not allowed to play "You will respect mah authoratah" over the intercoms

38. not allowed to make up my own Christmas carols

39. not allowed to wear pajamas on casual Friday

40. not allowed to use the printing presses as an impromptu iron

41. not allowed to have pets that can eat other pets

42. not allowed to proposition telemarketers

43. not allowed to tell someone their newborn is ugly

44. not allowed to dress for Halloween as a streaker

45. not allowed to emotionally scar the clients

46. not allowed to fire police officers

47. not allowed to put my mailing address as "Middle Earth"

48. not allowed to drink and make myspace bulletins

49. not allowed to make fun of non Harley bikers

50. not allowed to grow donut trees

51. not allowed to flirt with the elderly

52. not allowed to juggle pistols

53. not allowed to play with a bo staff indoors

54. not allowed to use a belt sander as a sex toy

55. ... or vice grips

56. not allowed to duct tape children to anything

57. not allowed to disassemble furniture when bored

58. not allowed to extract teeth

59. not allowed to say LOL out loud

60. not allowed to claim blondness if I'm not blond

61. not allowed to duel family members for spaetzel

62. not allowed to photoshop family members

63. not allowed to form a 'peons union'

64. not allowed to use "FUBAR" as a project title

65. not allowed to stand on my head and play a solo.

66. not allowed to fry ramen

67. not allowed to put meat in a blender

68. not allowed to bubblewrap anyones car

69. not allowed to claim my office is a secret government installation.