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38 Portland, ME Man


I’m looking for

  • Women
  • Ages 25–39
  • Located anywhere
  • For new friends, long-term dating, short-term dating

My Details

Last Online
Jan 28
6′ 1″ (1.85m)
Body Type
A little extra
Mostly anything
Other, and somewhat serious about it
Pisces, but it doesn’t matter
Dropped out of university
Art / Music / Writing
Relationship Status
Open relationship
Relationship Type
Strictly non-monogamous
Doesn’t have kids, but might want them
Likes dogs and likes cats
English (Fluently)

Similar Users

My self-summary
Write a little about yourself. Just a paragraph will do.
I guess the biggest takeaway I would like people to grok about me is that I deal with life with a light laugh, a light heart, and a light touch.* I claim responsibility over my own destiny and happiness, and what works for me is laughter; creating it, consuming it. What also works for me (and really ought to work for everybody) is empathy, kindness, and honesty. I understand that everyone is fighting their own battles, so I strive to be a gentle and a calming influence on everyone I encounter. I like people.
What I’m doing with my life
Don’t overthink this one; tell us what you’re doing day-to-day.
I'm the editor-in-chief/second-in-command behind the owner/founder of a production company that is trying to transition from traditional journalism/bloggy stuff to (almost) entirely multimedia and (almost) entirely comedy (primarily with a current affairs and global/national politics bend). This is dream job territory for me, and it's new; I've only been in Portland since June.

I love sketch comedy, and I have written a number of sketches and even performed a couple (mine, and others) with colleagues back in Philadelphia, where I lived for a few years (well, Northern Delaware to be exact). Everyone says they love to laugh/make people laugh, but I consider myself serious enough/passionate about it to try to go somewhere with it. I like improv too, and at a local level (everywhere) improv seems to far more ubiquitous than sketch, but I'm a little scared of trying improv myself.
I’m really good at
Go on, brag a little (or a lot). We won’t judge.
Lighting a match with one hand! Sleeping odd hours! Being awake at odd hours! The things I already mentioned above!

As I hinted at, I strive to be as empathetic a person as I can be. My heart bleeds for the less fortunate, including myself. In those Myers-Briggs tests, I always come out strongly for "feeling" rather than "thinking," and "perceiving" rather than "judging." I have been told I'm pretty perceptive about people and situations. I don't call this intuition, I just think I am decent at picking up on cues, reading a situation, and gleaning where the different people involved are coming from.

I pride myself on being able to keep my cool in adverse situations. I don't have much of a temper, although to be honest to the extent that I do it's more likely to manifest itself in trivial situations rather than serious ones. I usually don't care for the company of people who are easily angered or have grudge-holding mastered to craftsman levels.

Two favorite quotes that are emblematic of my philosophy in this regard: "Resentment is like taking poison and waiting for the other person to die." - Malachi McCourt. "People who call themselves 'brutally honest' get as much satisfaction out of the brutality as the honesty. Usually more." - Richard J. Needham.
The first things people usually notice about me
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
That I have misaligned the buttons on my shirt, or that a shoelace has come untied. I don't know. I'm tall-ish to people not that tall (6' 0 1/2") and I used to have a braided goatee, but I think I'm getting too old for looks that unconventional. I must always have some form of facial hair though. It's important to me. Don't try to get me to be clean-shaven, at least not in the long-term.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Help your potential matches find common interests.
I have a vast collection of books, but a true bibliophile would probably be pretty unimpressed with its content. It's a lot of journalism collections, Bathroom Reader/Book of Lists type stuff, memoirs and non-fiction writings of funny people, sports stuff, that sort of thing. I love good immersive longform journalism. Spellcheck thinks immersive is not a word apparently. I'm pretty sure I've read every word David Sedaris has ever published, and most of Hunter S. Thompson. Reading HST makes one feel like a badass by proxy. But I speak only of his non-fiction; The Rum Diary blew.

My favorite comedy movie of all time, by far, is Raising Arizona. My favorite dramas are Glengarry Glen Ross, The Shape of Things, Boyz N The Hood, City of God, and many more I'm forgetting.

I don't watch a ton of TV, mostly sports and Comedy Central, but I never miss Louie, Chopped, Top Chef, Family Guy, and I think I'm forgetting a couple. I love SNL but I fall behind on it a lot.

Law & Order is relaxing to me. I love its tropes, like the beginning shot of uninvolved people, often joggers, discovering a corpse ("So I said to Becky, I really think it's time to fish or cut bait on Jeff. After all, he's never gonna OH MY GOD!") and how casual witnesses a) have a perfect memory of everyone they come in contact with, and b) are remarkably blase and distracted while talking to cops. ("Oh yeah, I remember that guy. He had 12,434 arm hairs on his left arm, but just 11 thousand and change on his right. Now can I get back to chopping and weighing this baloney, please?")

I like a little bit of everything music-wise. My favorite genres are the classic rock my mom listened to constantly when I was growing up (Led Zeppelin, Pink Floyd, Talking Heads, Moody Blues and ELO are my favorites) and the more relaxing, creative, "downtempo" forms of electronic or techno/triphop music (Prefuse 73, Fila Brazillia, Lemon Jelly, and Pepe Deluxe are my favorites).

Food: I actually think LEAST favorite foods are a more interesting talking point than favorites. I hate: swiss cheese, tomatoes (in its pure form, things like ketchup and pizza sauce are tolerable), unpickled cucumbers, things with a purple "grape" flavor (actual grapes are okay), and sour cream and onion chips (I like both sour cream and onions, separately, a lot! However, the prevailing formula chipmasters have used to artificially fuse these flavors provoke a violent reaction in me, especially the smell. It's so bad I wonder if I'm not slightly allergic to some element).
The six things I could never do without
Think outside the box. Sometimes the little things can say a lot.
These lists are either rote and obvious (family love laughter etc) or fairly material (ipad, etc). So I reject it. Besides those obvious things, I could go without a LOT, but I confess to be pretty bummed when my internet goes out for a long period. Say I decide to read while it's out. Invariably, something I read will cause me to want to look something up about it online. That's one of the reasons Wikipedia is my most-visited site.
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Global warming, lunch, or your next vacation… it’s all fair game.
Again, lots of obvious answers here. I spend a lot of time thinking about politics. I'm not a politics junkie like some of my friends, but it is important. I'm pretty liberal on most issues. I would be willing to date a conservative, but it's gonna be hard if you have a great deal of contempt for the poor, and if you are anti-gay or a racist then obviously you're out.

I spend a lot of time thinking about theology. I do believe in God, in a sense anyway, but I do not subscribe to ANY organized religion and I am deeply dismayed at how much murder is committed in the name of religion.

I spend a lot of time thinking "Oh God, everyone must see this hilarious sketch/stand up bit! I've discovered the next Mitch Hedberg! To Facebook!"

I spend a lot of time thinking about your Mom. I'm decried the term "brutal honesty" here, but I'm gonna have to let you know nonetheless: We ALL spend a lot of time thinking about your Mom.
On a typical Friday night I am
Netflix and takeout, or getting your party on — how do you let loose?
Saying, "Yay! The weekend's coming up!" I might go see a comedy show or a comedian (my favorite standups are Louis CK, Patton Oswalt, Jim Gaffigan, among others. Mitch Hedberg is my alltime favorite, may he RIP), or watching the latest interesting-looking indy movie. Or I'm hanging with friends, or writing...
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
I go through periods where I play poker pretty seriously. The poker bug has been in remission for awhile now, but my online and live winnings are both into four figures. One glorious day in Atlantic City in 2009, I finished 10th in a World Series of Poker (circuit, non-main) event.

Ohhh, I read the header wrong! It says "The most private thing I'm willing to admit," not "Brag about shit here!" Okay, then...

I'm SLIGHTLY pigeon-toed, which I guess isn't so private since you'll see that if we meet. No one has commented on this in probably a decade or more, so perhaps it's not even noticeable. It's my sister's fault, she was pushed up against me in an awkward way in the womb.

I had a chance to get it fixed surgically when I was a kid. The doctor asked me many questions about how my pigeon-toedness affected me ("Can you run well? Play sports?") and since it was clear it didn't affect me at all in a physical sense, the doctor informed my mother that it would amount to cosmetic surgery. Since this would involve breaking both my legs and resetting them, I declined. I don't regret it.
You should message me if
Offer a few tips to help matches win you over.
You read my profile without saying, "GAHD! This was long!" and you frequently said to yourself, "Hey! I agree!" or "I'm like that!" or "HAHAHAHAHAHA!"

I am a polyamorist. I have only been so for about a year (as of June 2014), but the more I understand about myself and the more I understand the principles of polyamory, the more I know that it is right for me. If you consider yourself a monogamist, by all means, hit me up if this is something you are willing to discuss and learn about (as I am eager to discuss and learn about YOUR values). If it's not something you are willing to discuss, best you move on.

I will say the two qualities that are not a given (smart, not a racist/homophobe, not an asshole...all the basics) that I really desire right now are: 1) Someone who makes me laugh. I hope your profile doesn't read like a grim manifesto. 2) You are capable of tranquility. Everyone is intense sometimes, but I want someone who lowers my blood pressure, exudes a warmth, a comfort...a safe place. A haven.

You should also message me if you make corny or tasteless jokes and punctuate them by saying HEY-O!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! at the end.

-I have WAAAAAY more on common with athiests than thiests. Actually, I knew this already, but yeah. My concept of God is not a "sky daddy" as I've seen it described, or some sort of omnipotent entity separate from us, but more of a universal thrum that runs through everything, and I don't think you depart from the thrum when you die. I believe in reincarnation.

-I have WAAAAAY more in common with SciFi/Fantasy fans than non-fans, it seems. Especially Doctor Who. An abiding love for Doctor Who seems to be claimed by, oh, every single profile I visit. To clarify, I do like SciFi. Particularly, I like speculative fiction, alternative history and dystopian stuff. I recently read the Heechee works by Frederik Pohl and loved it. I watched District 9 and loved it. So yeah, the interest is there, but if I have time to watch a movie/read a book/watch tv/listen to a podcast, I'm going to gravitate towards alt-comedy stuff, well-made contemporary drama like Breaking Bad, Orange Is The New Black, and the like. But if I'm a scifi neophyte, that means I am a sponge ripe to be molded into your scifi image. You should relish that opportunity.

You're gonna have to work harder on me for "Fantasy" though. Things with princes and princesses and wizards and shit. Not a fan. But state your case.

*But a heavy dick WHEEEEEE!