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37 / M / Straight / Single
- Last Online
- Yesterday – 2:46am
- 6′ 0″ (1.83m).
- Body Type
- A little extra
- Mostly anything
- Other and somewhat serious about it
- Pisces but it doesn’t matter
- Dropped out of college/university
- Rather not say
- Doesn’t have kids, but might want them
- Likes dogs and likes cats
- English (Fluently)
jcuster80 Dallas, Texas less artsy
Iamroboto Dallas, Texas more attentive
shanetastical Dallas, Texas more spiritual
Matthiete Dallas, Texas more desiring of sex
357Luis Dallas, Texas more adventurous
VanWilderness Dallas, Texas more attentive
usemyn Irving, Texas more adventurous
LazerEnvy Dallas, Texas better mannered
The longer answer is, I have a day job completely unrelated to my passions where, granted, most days I am in front of a computer in an air conditioned office, but where they often need me to do the type of physical work your grandpa would be proud of me for, so proud he might even offer me a pinch of his prized snuff. Such days have been coming with increasingly regularity and I've found that there is a sense of satisfaction to be had from a hard day of labor. You grandpa would be so proud of that sentiment he'd oh wait I already made that joke.
But I also write both a regular sports column (and have for 10+ years) for a a website you've never heard of (proudest moment: my column being praised by the BBC) and I am a Middle Eastern Affairs correspondent for another website you've never heard of. I am no Middle East expert, faaaaar from it, but it was an opportunity that sounded interesting so I took it. These things (freelance assignments, writing opportunities) have sort of been falling into my lap lately and I am aware of how lucky I am for it. All this stuff pays literally chump change, don't misunderstand; I'm probably poorer than you. But I am successful and when I want something that hinges on my ability to express myself, I usually get it.
I love sketch comedy, and I have written a number of sketches and even performed a couple (mine, and others) with colleagues back in Philadelphia, where I lived for a few years (well, Northern Delaware to be exact). Everyone says they love to laugh/make people laugh, but I consider myself serious enough/passionate about it to try to go somewhere with it. I haven't connected with the Dallas comedy community, such as it is, yet. I like improv too, and at a local level (everywhere) improv seems to far more ubiquitous than sketch, but I'm a little scared of trying improv myself.
UPDATE: I've started volunteering, preparing food for the homeless on Saturday mornings. I hope the homeless like mustard, 'cause man, they're gettin' it if they're gettin' it from me.
As I hinted at, I strive to be as empathetic a person as I can be. My heart bleeds for the less fortunate, including myself. In those Myers-Briggs tests, I always come out strongly for "feeling" rather than "thinking," and "perceiving" rather than "judging." I have been told I'm pretty perceptive about people and situations. I don't call this intuition, I just think I am decent at picking up on cues, reading a situation, and gleaning where the different people involved are coming from.
I pride myself on being able to keep my cool in adverse situations. I don't have much of a temper, although to be honest to the extent that I do it's more likely to manifest itself in trivial situations rather than serious ones. I usually don't care for the company of people who are easily angered or have grudge-holding mastered to craftsman levels.
Two favorite quotes that are emblematic of my philosophy in this regard: "Resentment is like taking poison and waiting for the other person to die." - Malachi McCourt. "People who call themselves 'brutally honest' get as much satisfaction out of the brutality as the honesty. Usually more." - Richard J. Needham.
My favorite comedy movie of all time, by far, is Raising Arizona. My favorite dramas are Glengarry Glen Ross, The Shape of Things, Boyz N The Hood, City of God, and many more I'm forgetting.
I don't watch a ton of TV, mostly sports and Comedy Central, but I never miss Louie, Chopped, Top Chef, Family Guy, and I think I'm forgetting a couple. I love SNL but I fall behind on it a lot.
Law & Order is relaxing to me. I love its tropes, like the beginning shot of uninvolved people, often joggers, discovering a corpse ("So I said to Becky, I really think it's time to fish or cut bait on Jeff. After all, he's never gonna OH MY GOD!") and how casual witnesses a) have a perfect memory of everyone they come in contact with, and b) are remarkably blase and distracted while talking to cops. ("Oh yeah, I remember that guy. He had 12,434 arm hairs on his left arm, but just 11 thousand and change on his right. Now can I get back to chopping and weighing this baloney, please?")
I like a little bit of everything music-wise. My favorite genres are the classic rock my mom listened to constantly when I was growing up (Led Zeppelin, Pink Floyd, Talking Heads, Moody Blues and ELO are my favorites) and the more relaxing, creative, "downtempo" forms of electronic or techno/triphop music (Prefuse 73, Fila Brazillia, Lemon Jelly, and Pepe Deluxe are my favorites).
Food: I actually think LEAST favorite foods are a more interesting talking point than favorites. I hate: swiss cheese, tomatoes (in its pure form, things like ketchup and pizza sauce are tolerable), unpickled cucumbers, things with a purple "grape" flavor (actual grapes are okay), and sour cream and onion chips (I like both sour cream and onions, separately, a lot! However, the prevailing formula chipmasters have used to artificially fuse these flavors provoke a violent reaction in me, especially the smell. It's so bad I wonder if I'm not slightly allergic to some element).
I spend a lot of time thinking about theology. I do believe in God, in a sense anyway, but I do not subscribe to ANY organized religion and I am deeply dismayed at how much murder is committed in the name of religion.
I spend a lot of time thinking "Oh God, everyone must see this hilarious sketch/stand up bit! I've discovered the next Mitch Hedberg! To Facebook!"
I spend a lot of time thinking about your Mom. I'm decried the term "brutal honesty" here, but I'm gonna have to let you know nonetheless: We ALL spend a lot of time thinking about your Mom.
Ohhh, I read the header wrong! It says "The most private thing I'm willing to admit," not "Brag about shit here!" Okay, then...
I'm SLIGHTLY pigeon-toed, which I guess isn't so private since you'll see that if we meet. No one has commented on this in probably a decade or more, so perhaps it's not even noticeable. It's my sister's fault, she was pushed up against me in an awkward way in the womb.
I had a chance to get it fixed surgically when I was a kid. The doctor asked me many questions about how my pigeon-toedness affected me ("Can you run well? Play sports?") and since it was clear it didn't affect me at all in a physical sense, the doctor informed my mother that it would amount to cosmetic surgery. Since this would involve breaking both my legs and resetting them, I declined. I don't regret it.
- Girls who like guys
- Ages 25–39
- Located anywhere
- Who are single
- For new friends, long-term dating, short-term dating
Polyamory intrigues me as I learn more about it. I'm not calling myself a polyamorist yet and monogamy has worked well for me. But I bring it up because...sometimes you can't be all things to all people. If you think about the different friendships that you have, and the relationships you have had, they each had their own unique dynamic. Each partner did at least a few things superlatively, lest you would not have partnered with them.
And I bring THAT up to say, "You should message me if" you get the feeling we would click in one way or another. We don't have to be perfect for each other in every way to enjoy the things we DO have in common.
EDIT 9/7/13: Okay, I am calling myself a polyamorist now. The more I understand about myself and the more I understand the principles of polyamory, the more I know that it is right for me. I'm not seeing anyone seriously at the moment. If you consider yourself a monogamist, by all means, hit me up if this is something you are willing to discuss and learn about (as I am eager to discuss and learn about YOUR values). If it's not something you are willing to discuss, best you move on.
I will say the two qualities that are not a given (smart, not a racist/homophobe, not an asshole...all the basics) that I really desire right now are: 1) Someone who makes me laugh. I hope your profile doesn't read like a grim manifesto. 2) You are capable of tranquility. Everyone is intense sometimes, but I want someone who lowers my blood pressure, exudes a warmth, a comfort...a safe place. A haven.
You should also message me if you make corny or tasteless jokes and punctuate them by saying HEY-O!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! at the end.
-I have WAAAAAY more on common with athiests than thiests. Actually, I knew this already, but yeah. My concept of God is not a "sky daddy" as I've seen it described, or some sort of omnipotent entity separate from us, but more of a universal thrum that runs through everything, and I don't think you depart from the thrum when you die. I believe in reincarnation.
-I have WAAAAAY more in common with SciFi/Fantasy fans than non-fans, it seems. Especially Doctor Who. An abiding love for Doctor Who seems to be claimed by, oh, every single profile I visit. To clarify, I do like SciFi. Particularly, I like speculative fiction, alternative history and dystopian stuff. I recently read the Heechee works by Frederik Pohl and loved it. I watched District 9 and loved it. So yeah, the interest is there, but if I have time to watch a movie/read a book/watch tv/listen to a podcast, I'm going to gravitate towards alt-comedy stuff, well-made contemporary drama like Six Feet Under, and the like. But if I'm a scifi neophyte, that means I am a sponge ripe to be molded into your scifi image. You should relish that opportunity.
You're gonna have to work harder on me for "Fantasy" though. Things with princes and princesses and wizards and shit. Not a fan. But state your case.
*But a heavy dick WHEEEEEE!