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38 • Portland, ME • Man
I’m looking for
- Ages 25–39
- Located anywhere
- Who are single
- For new friends, long-term dating, short-term dating
- Last Online
- Jan 28
- 6′ 1″ (1.85m)
- Body Type
- A little extra
- Mostly anything
- Other, and somewhat serious about it
- Pisces, but it doesn’t matter
- Dropped out of university
- Art / Music / Writing
- Relationship Status
- Open relationship
- Relationship Type
- Strictly non-monogamous
- Doesn’t have kids, but might want them
- Likes dogs and likes cats
- English (Fluently)
I love sketch comedy, and I have written a number of sketches and even performed a couple (mine, and others) with colleagues back in Philadelphia, where I lived for a few years (well, Northern Delaware to be exact). Everyone says they love to laugh/make people laugh, but I consider myself serious enough/passionate about it to try to go somewhere with it. I like improv too, and at a local level (everywhere) improv seems to far more ubiquitous than sketch, but I'm a little scared of trying improv myself.
As I hinted at, I strive to be as empathetic a person as I can be. My heart bleeds for the less fortunate, including myself. In those Myers-Briggs tests, I always come out strongly for "feeling" rather than "thinking," and "perceiving" rather than "judging." I have been told I'm pretty perceptive about people and situations. I don't call this intuition, I just think I am decent at picking up on cues, reading a situation, and gleaning where the different people involved are coming from.
I pride myself on being able to keep my cool in adverse situations. I don't have much of a temper, although to be honest to the extent that I do it's more likely to manifest itself in trivial situations rather than serious ones. I usually don't care for the company of people who are easily angered or have grudge-holding mastered to craftsman levels.
Two favorite quotes that are emblematic of my philosophy in this regard: "Resentment is like taking poison and waiting for the other person to die." - Malachi McCourt. "People who call themselves 'brutally honest' get as much satisfaction out of the brutality as the honesty. Usually more." - Richard J. Needham.
My favorite comedy movie of all time, by far, is Raising Arizona. My favorite dramas are Glengarry Glen Ross, The Shape of Things, Boyz N The Hood, City of God, and many more I'm forgetting.
I don't watch a ton of TV, mostly sports and Comedy Central, but I never miss Louie, Chopped, Top Chef, Family Guy, and I think I'm forgetting a couple. I love SNL but I fall behind on it a lot.
Law & Order is relaxing to me. I love its tropes, like the beginning shot of uninvolved people, often joggers, discovering a corpse ("So I said to Becky, I really think it's time to fish or cut bait on Jeff. After all, he's never gonna OH MY GOD!") and how casual witnesses a) have a perfect memory of everyone they come in contact with, and b) are remarkably blase and distracted while talking to cops. ("Oh yeah, I remember that guy. He had 12,434 arm hairs on his left arm, but just 11 thousand and change on his right. Now can I get back to chopping and weighing this baloney, please?")
I like a little bit of everything music-wise. My favorite genres are the classic rock my mom listened to constantly when I was growing up (Led Zeppelin, Pink Floyd, Talking Heads, Moody Blues and ELO are my favorites) and the more relaxing, creative, "downtempo" forms of electronic or techno/triphop music (Prefuse 73, Fila Brazillia, Lemon Jelly, and Pepe Deluxe are my favorites).
Food: I actually think LEAST favorite foods are a more interesting talking point than favorites. I hate: swiss cheese, tomatoes (in its pure form, things like ketchup and pizza sauce are tolerable), unpickled cucumbers, things with a purple "grape" flavor (actual grapes are okay), and sour cream and onion chips (I like both sour cream and onions, separately, a lot! However, the prevailing formula chipmasters have used to artificially fuse these flavors provoke a violent reaction in me, especially the smell. It's so bad I wonder if I'm not slightly allergic to some element).
I spend a lot of time thinking about theology. I do believe in God, in a sense anyway, but I do not subscribe to ANY organized religion and I am deeply dismayed at how much murder is committed in the name of religion.
I spend a lot of time thinking "Oh God, everyone must see this hilarious sketch/stand up bit! I've discovered the next Mitch Hedberg! To Facebook!"
I spend a lot of time thinking about your Mom. I'm decried the term "brutal honesty" here, but I'm gonna have to let you know nonetheless: We ALL spend a lot of time thinking about your Mom.
Ohhh, I read the header wrong! It says "The most private thing I'm willing to admit," not "Brag about shit here!" Okay, then...
I'm SLIGHTLY pigeon-toed, which I guess isn't so private since you'll see that if we meet. No one has commented on this in probably a decade or more, so perhaps it's not even noticeable. It's my sister's fault, she was pushed up against me in an awkward way in the womb.
I had a chance to get it fixed surgically when I was a kid. The doctor asked me many questions about how my pigeon-toedness affected me ("Can you run well? Play sports?") and since it was clear it didn't affect me at all in a physical sense, the doctor informed my mother that it would amount to cosmetic surgery. Since this would involve breaking both my legs and resetting them, I declined. I don't regret it.
I am a polyamorist. I have only been so for about a year (as of June 2014), but the more I understand about myself and the more I understand the principles of polyamory, the more I know that it is right for me. If you consider yourself a monogamist, by all means, hit me up if this is something you are willing to discuss and learn about (as I am eager to discuss and learn about YOUR values). If it's not something you are willing to discuss, best you move on.
I will say the two qualities that are not a given (smart, not a racist/homophobe, not an asshole...all the basics) that I really desire right now are: 1) Someone who makes me laugh. I hope your profile doesn't read like a grim manifesto. 2) You are capable of tranquility. Everyone is intense sometimes, but I want someone who lowers my blood pressure, exudes a warmth, a comfort...a safe place. A haven.
You should also message me if you make corny or tasteless jokes and punctuate them by saying HEY-O!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! at the end.
-I have WAAAAAY more on common with athiests than thiests. Actually, I knew this already, but yeah. My concept of God is not a "sky daddy" as I've seen it described, or some sort of omnipotent entity separate from us, but more of a universal thrum that runs through everything, and I don't think you depart from the thrum when you die. I believe in reincarnation.
-I have WAAAAAY more in common with SciFi/Fantasy fans than non-fans, it seems. Especially Doctor Who. An abiding love for Doctor Who seems to be claimed by, oh, every single profile I visit. To clarify, I do like SciFi. Particularly, I like speculative fiction, alternative history and dystopian stuff. I recently read the Heechee works by Frederik Pohl and loved it. I watched District 9 and loved it. So yeah, the interest is there, but if I have time to watch a movie/read a book/watch tv/listen to a podcast, I'm going to gravitate towards alt-comedy stuff, well-made contemporary drama like Breaking Bad, Orange Is The New Black, and the like. But if I'm a scifi neophyte, that means I am a sponge ripe to be molded into your scifi image. You should relish that opportunity.
You're gonna have to work harder on me for "Fantasy" though. Things with princes and princesses and wizards and shit. Not a fan. But state your case.
*But a heavy dick WHEEEEEE!
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