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26 Philadelphia, PA Man


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I’m looking for

  • Everyone
  • Ages 21–45
  • Near me
  • For new friends, long-term dating, short-term dating, casual sex

My details

Last online
Yesterday – 7:37pm
Bisexual, Queer
5′ 11″ (1.80m)
Body Type
Mostly anything
Agnosticism, and laughing about it
Graduated from university
Entertainment / Media
Doesn’t have kids, but might want them
Likes dogs and has cats
English (Fluently), Spanish (Poorly)
My self-summary
Write a little about yourself. Just a paragraph will do.
I'm a film critic and professional writer from Oregon who moved to Philly three years ago and lives on top of a concert venue/coffehouse/art gallery in South Philly. Basically, my life is like a sitcom pilot that all the other networks passed on, so we had to settle for CBS.

Political as fuuuuck, intersectional, privilege-checking, trying to be a male feminist without being Male Feminist.

A dude who is good at pub trivia, great at pop culture reference, bad at OKCupid descriptions, and interested in learning things. (Side note: I genuinely think OKCupid has made me smarter, because I frequently wind up looking up words I see on people's profile. So, thanks everyone!)

Also, a person who enjoys hanging out with interesting and intelligent people, because then I can pretend I'm also those things.

Final note: A guy who will make fun of you for mispronouncing Oregon. (it's ORYGUN, by the way).
What I’m doing with my life
Don’t overthink this one; tell us what you’re doing day-to-day.
Tweetin': @SchneidRemarks

Trying to figure out how I can get a job working for Turner Classic Movies.

Talking to people. Asking questions. Writing words about movies, TV, books, pop culure, feminism and minority issues, especially regarding media portrayal , because that shit's important, yo.

Playing music, seeing music, and trying to find places to go Swing dancing and sing karaoke.
I’m really good at
Go on, brag a little (or a lot). We won’t judge.
Walking into rooms where parties happen to going on and acting like I belonged there the whole time, even when I have no idea what's going on.

This happens more often than you might think.
The first things people usually notice about me
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
My beard was recently declared best in Philadelphia by the Wahl Shaving Company. Seriously, I got $500 for it and everything.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Help your potential matches find common interests.
FACT: If you say "Hey, tell me what movie I should watch" and don't give me any details, I will always, ALWAYS respond with "A Goofy Movie." Because that film is pretty much perfect.

Otherwise, PLEASE talk to me about movies. Also if you didn't love Fury Road, we probably can't hang.

Books: My favorite favorite book of all time is an obscure novel from the late '80s by Matt Ruff called Fool on the Hill. If you have read it, you should message me immediately.

Men, Women and Chainsaws, The Three Musketeers/Count of Monte Cristo, The Once And Future King, Bone, Nick Hornby , Chuck Klosterman, Murakami, David Foster Wallace, Non-fiction stuff, essays, books about culture and film. Vonnegut. (I think I'm the only person on Earth who hates Cat's Cradle and loves Slapstick.)

Comic books: Pretty Deadly. Sex Criminals. Captain Marvel, I just started reading Hawkeye, and apparently I care about Hawkeye now.

Key and Peele, Orphan Black, True Detective, Gravity Falls, New Girl, Breaking Bad, Better Call Saul, Bob's Burgers, Brooklyn-99, Inside Amy Schumer, Broad City, Parks and Rec, Scrubs, Friday Night Lights, FRIENDS, Seinfeld, SNL, The Daily Show, The Nightly Show, Agent Carter, Justice League/JLU, The IT Crowd, The Office (US), Top Gear (UK).

Music: I like a lot of music. I really like country/folk stuff, but I dig on a lot of punk/metal, pop and rap, and I have a soft spot for 50's girl groups and '70s singer-songwriters. (Carole King is my homegirl.)

Andrew WK, The Aquabats!, Janelle Monae, Mos Def, Otis Redding, Bill Withers, Common, Bob Dylan, Elvis Costello, Springsteen, Barenaked Ladies, Kanye, NWA,Ke$ha, Fountains of Wayne, Devil Makes Three, Jackie Greene, Bob Schneider,

Food: I like it. Except onions. I hate onions.
The six things I could never do without
Think outside the box. Sometimes the little things can say a lot.
Yo, this question is ridiculous.

In high school, I decided I would never move to a place without movie theater, does that count?
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Global warming, lunch, or your next vacation… it’s all fair game.
Why the hell no one's made a goddamn Wonder Woman movie yet. (EDIT: Apparently this is happening now, but I'll believe it when I see it.)

Anyone else think it's really weird how Richard Gere is like, just not famous anymore?

Does $4 for a small bag of jellybeans seem insanely high to anyone else? Especially when there's a chance that 1/8 of the bag would be something you don't like. It's a poor price-to-flavor-ratio.

How much better the world would be if there were more people like Louis CK or Andrew WK.

Changing my last name to start with "K."
On a typical Friday night I am
Netflix and takeout, or getting your party on — how do you let loose?
Watching a movie for the delight of tens of people on the internet.

Or drinking with friends who are tired of listening to me complain about how much better Portland beer is than Philly beer.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
No, this is dumb. Here are some random facts about me instead:

There is a point when I get drunk where I feel the urge to compulsively rattle off trivia about Andre the Giant and I know a LOT of trivia about Andre the Giant.

I don't understand the appeal of TastyKakes. Like at all. They're just not that good.

If I ever met Nicolas Cage, I would probably turn into Troy Barnes in that one episode of Community where he meets LeVar Burton.
You should message me if
Offer a few tips to help matches win you over.
If you can explain hockey to me.

If you want to talk about movies.

If you want to sing the Freddy Mercury part to my David Bowie when we do "Under Pressure" at karaoke.

If you think I'm a pretty awesome dude (you're right) and you think you're pretty awesome yourself (you're right again! Go you!)

You know what? Even if you're not into me or going out, you should message me and tell me how you use this site, and maybe share some horror stories.

Because the way this site works fascinates and confuses me. How much faith do people put into the percentages? Why are dudes so massively creepy? Why does everyone describe themselves as "laid back?" What questions do you look at first, if any? Why do some people have my answer marked as "unacceptable" when it's the same answer they put? This stuff is actually interesting to me.

But you know, primarily message me if you want to.