Find better matches with our advanced
matching system

—% Match
—% Enemy


31 Oakland, CA Man


Similar users

I’m looking for

  • Women
  • Ages 20-35
  • Near me
  • For new friends, long-term dating, short-term dating, casual sex

My details

Last online
Yesterday – 7:29pm
Relationship Type
Strictly non-monogamous
6' 0" (1.83m)
Body Type
Agnosticism and laughing about it
My self-summary
Write a little about yourself. Just a paragraph will do.
I know what kind of person I'd like to be, but I have no fucking clue how others see me. Hopefully as dashingly handsome, polite, caring, independent, talented, intelligent... maybe with a sort of sexy confident swagger. A sweetheart with a devil may care presentation. I guess I could also be a total fucking jerkface and have no idea... my experience is that most jerkfaces are completely oblivious to the fact.
Here's what I guess I like to think about myself:

*Charismatic introvert- I crave social interaction and intimate attention but I need alone time to recharge my batteries

*Feminist... and constantly working at it. I think feminism benefits everyone. I'd love to see a world where women are honored and treated with respect, where trans people are not alienated, and where sex workers are not shamed. I'd like a world in which both men and women are not constantly told that they are weak for having and sharing difficult emotions. I want to support other men and be vulnerable with them instead of feeling threatened and drawn into competiton. I want the patriarchy to fall and along with it hetero normative social constructs and gender binary thinking... that's all.

*Outdoorsy- I teach and practice primitive skills and paleo-technology. This does not mean that I live like a hermit in a debris hut in the woods. I just go to visit one sometimes. I make a lot of my own gear, I can track animals using bird language,and I am the best person to have on your zombie survival team ever.

*Queer- This is complicated because I don't present as queer. I present as very hetero masculine. I like the people that I like regardless of gender or lack thereof. I find myself mostly dating women and other queer/gender queer folk because a lot of cis men are terrible... see above "feminist".

*Poly- I identify as polyamorous. This phrase is defined differently by different people. For me this means connecting both emotionally and physically with more than one person. I am an ethical non-monogamist. I believe in honest, open, sometimes vulnerable communication. This part of my life is a constant work in progress, I still have monogamous socialization and I am still a human with difficult feelings. Deal with it.

*Sex positive- I love sex, and I whole heartedly believe that we as a culture have stigmatized it in a way that is unhealthy. I am open about sex, I physically engage with most of my friends, not always in the form of sex, but I like sharing intimacy. This does not mean that the only thing I want from you is sex. Believe me when I say I'm a lot more complicated than that.
What I’m doing with my life
Don’t overthink this one; tell us what you’re doing day-to-day.
Learning how to be a more complete and caring human being and trying to figure out how to teach kids/people to do the same.

Learning how to stay health focused. I like to climb, bike, run but not all the time. I'm trying to eat healthier foods... but not less delicious ones.
I’m really good at
Go on, brag a little (or a lot). We won’t judge.
Forgetting where I put my goddamned coffee.
Sometimes asking for the things I want.... and other times not.
Finding things someone else lost... but still not my fucking coffee.
Most physical things... yes including that one... basically anything I can touch I can learn to do well. I think it comes from having to learn instruments by ear.
Cuddling while watching movies or reading books.
Plus I can start a fire by rubbing two sticks together... so I've got that going for me.
The first things people usually notice about me
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
Fuck all if I know... you can probably answer this question better than me. Here's an idea, if you don't know what to say to me in a first message, just tell me the first thing you notice about me and go from there. Let's be real though, you're not going to send the first message and we both know it. Also, I won't bite... wait no... I just realized I can't promise that.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Help your potential matches find common interests.
Music: The Velvet Teen, Sufjan Stevens, Iron and Wine, David Bowie, T-Rex, The Flaming Lips, Elliot Smith, The Arcade Fire, Rodrigo Y Gabriella, The Shins, Rancid, TV on the Radio, El Ten Eleven, Spoon, Radiohead, The Get Up Kids, Jeff Buckley, LOW, The Strokes, Tom Waitts

Movies: Impossible to name them all but the things that come to mind are... Anything by Hayao Miyazaki, Tim Burton previous to Planet of the Apes with the exception of Sweeney Todd, Guillermo Del Toro, Quentin Tarantino, Ghostbusters, The Fountain, Watchmen, Being There, 24 Hour Party People, The Imaginarium of Dr. Parnasus... MST3K!

Shows: Cosmos (I love you Carl Sagan), Planet Earth, Archer, Bobs Burgers, FUTURAMA! Cowboy Bebop, Metalocalypse, Adventure Time!, American Horror Story, Homeland, Blacklist, Sherlock, X-Files

Authors/Books: Douglas Adams, Rumi, David Sedaris, Tom Robbins, Orson Scott Card, Neil Gaiman, Terry Pratchett, Tolkien, Carl Sagan
The six things I could never do without
Think outside the box. Sometimes the little things can say a lot.
A good knife
A quiet place
Being touched
Being heard
The forest
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Global warming, lunch, or your next vacation… it’s all fair game.
If I am good.
What kind of person I will become.
What I would like to learn.
If anybody even reads this crap or if they just see a picture and swipe left.
Social dynamics and why it seems that sometimes I completely understand what's happening when no one else does... and am totally clueless when everyone else seems to be on the same page.
On a typical Friday night I am
Netflix and takeout, or getting your party on — how do you let loose?
Still looking for my coffee.
I don't know... probably watching some god awful movie on Netflix pretending that I want to be doing something different but really just wanting someone to come over and watch a god awful movie with me... and make out.
You should message me if
Offer a few tips to help matches win you over.
You read my entire profile and you're excited about talking to me. I don't mind short messages. "Hi" might be a little too short. "HI my name is _____ and I like your profile.." is just fine for me. If I don't message you back, it's probably because I'm in the woods... or I don't think we're a good match. Such is life.