This use to read something about you blowing pygmy 3 legged retard goats. I think that may have been somewhat offputing or some shit, I dunno. (this in and of itself is offputing i've been told) Basically, I want to be Peter Pan, I dont want to ever grow up, but I can put a big boy face on if the situation calls for it. I love the outdoors and my office is over 200 acres. I dream about baseball a lot, and of the sounds and smells of a stadium. I like good food and good drink, but lately have been settling for cheddar cheese combos and 3 buck chuck. I keep a copy of Pilgrim at Tinker Creek next to my bed and read from it quite often. Im often the center of attention whether I want to be or not, and would rather blend casually back into the crowd. My life is everchanging yet static.. If that makes any sense, well, it doesnt make any sense let's be honest.

Think I should figure this out pretty soon..

Grinding along but happy to have a good job in a miserable State.

Developing new intolerances to foods and animal bites.

Tiptoeing the sanity line.

Living the dream.

Wishing upon the forgotten sandbox.

Building walls.

Making pruno.

Spending NOT enough time on here.

Nothing.

Laughing for no reason.

Skipping.

Being amazed.

Blowing gigantic bubbles with Big League Chew.

Keeping my office clean but my car a mess.

Trying to pull of manpris.

Not being a vampire.. ive been known to roast entire bulbs of garlic and eat them clove by clove for a snack.

My manosphere.

My awesome farmer's tan

Earwax. (now with black chunks)

My furrowed brows.

My supersexy buttocks.

My feet.. they are muchos hot to a least 2 gay guys who have commented on my flip flop clad feetsies.

Editors

• renaissgirl

BOOK: Anything by Annie Dillard.. Pilgrim at Tinker Creek, For the Time Being, Teaching a Stone to Talk. Random books of trivia. Religious texts of any kind. The Dictionary.

MOVIE: Apocalypse Now. The Holy Grail. Anything with or by Clint Eastwood. Breakin' 2 Electric Boogaloo.

MUSIC: Anything with Hillbillies blowing in jugs. Anything that could require me to break out my Alphonso Ribeiro Breakin' Board.

FOOD: Geoduck. I'm a food snob. I'm a drink snob. I'm just a snob. I will not make apologies for that. Eating peanut butter used to be like having my balls tickled.. now its like having my colon ripped from me with needle nosed vice grips. Ill try anything once, and maybe twice if im unsure.. the best food in the world comes off the beaten path by a local using local ingredients. Mmm.. Curry goat in Grand Cayman or Fish Tacos in Akumal.. The only thing I had and wouldnt eat again was headcheese, and not because of the flavor, it was a textural mess.

Editors

• renaissgirl

fossil fuels, fast food, guns, nascar, organized religion and sarcasm.

Why isnt video games, iPods, cell phone on this list? I must be missing out.

Anitiques Roadshow and old people.

Tinker Creek.

Trying not to think.

Santiago

Basil Hayden.. Who was he? Is he?

Baseball

Futility

MOISTure.

Editors

• AmusesYoBouche
• renaissgirl

break dancing or going to bed so i can work at a horrifyingly early hour on Sat. morning.

I have a wicked eye tumour called a pterygium, and I haven't used it's full ability to scare children yet.

My best and funniest stories somehow all revolve around poop.

People dont appreciate poop in a profile?

Editors

• renaissgirl

You wanna talk about selenium to boron ratios in multi-vitamins or moisture level.

You like peanut butter. NOW SO I CAN CURSE YOUR EXISTENCE!

You are as bored as me.

For any reason... even to say.. you are a total douchebag.

Editors

• AmusesYoBouche
• renaissgirl