Since the big day 12/21/12 I have started a press and just (self) published a couple of books by myself as the first step in building toward the next dimension of higher satisfaction. The means of production are already in our hands, only lacking our engagement. Lately thinking I might become a real publisher of quality works and make that into a ladder. Already have two other prospects in mind. About to start promoting those two books I published and myself their author in as artistic and heartful a way as I can. Gonna try stand up comedy soon maybe too, which I've decided might well be the noblest profession. I can remember when I started thinking I would never make money by creativity and would have to be good at some dumb job in the void instead, just in case, or because, I was so much for creativity, and the world I lived in was against it. That was the unsaid subtext. So now that I finally found my way back to where that train of thought began, I can "delete it and de-story it." At least that's what I heard on the free 10 minutes Abundance workshop audio, and I think I can really relate to the concept. You know.

Adjusting my perception to admit the unlikely, aiming at self-sufficiency and a modicum of appreciation from the given audience via writing, music or art. Consciously tapping into an avenue of synchronous development, a positive chain of events ending with the realization of some form of ultimate happiness. Saying goodbye to the old world and helping the new one take a more positive, cooperative form. It's already starting to work. I know the world is full of troubles, but I don't want to devote myself to a lifestyle of fixating on problem after problem and am deliberately living my life in the other direction while keeping one leg in the other camp as if to simulate balance. Will it work?

Loving, expressing myself creatively, writing (and sometimes speaking) from the subconscious, unexpected humorous angles, giving artistic form to emotional cues.

The tattoo on my forehead. Just kidding. I'm a tall, short haired guy with beard, mustache and sideburns. I don't know what others notice first. Maybe glasses, I wear glasses too.

Lots of books I love, no single favorite and way too many to list (some highlights: John Fante, Flannery O'Connor, Frank Conroy, Rennie Sparks, Charles Bukowski, Nathanael West, Carson McCullers). My own writing varies from a form of minimalist magic realism to full blown abstraction having something in common with the automatic writing phenomenon in that it emerges without any forethought, like an automatic function. Just read a book about a psychological malaise called Wetiko known to Native Americans for centuries that's so ubiquitous it goes unseen, which concept neatly explains the mass psychosis apparent in scenes like GMOS infesting food, Citizens United legalizing greed, etc. Anyway that's my latest kick is endeavoring against the Wetiko. And I just read a book by Terry Southern called Flash and Filigree that had some funny moments. And I'm reading another one by T. Southern right now called Blue Movie that is like a heterosexual Naked Lunch but set in the 60s Hollywood movie scene starring Stanley Kubrick by another name and more such devices. 'Cause you know Terry Southern wrote Dr. Strangelove and Easy Rider, which gave him a bird's eye view of all the weirdness in that scene. Sure musta been weird.

Some musical favorites are Jonathan Richman (whole career, not just that 1st Modern Lovers album), the Feelies, Lucy Wainwright Roche, the Dirtbombs, Gogol Bordello, Sonic Youth, but there are hundreds thousands more, Iggy Pop, Stereolab, Can, Fishbone, I just discovered this awesome Japanese blues-jazz-punk outfit called Monkey Business Extra Light . . . and Half Japanese is good. Really i love everything, Mozart, Billy Childish, the Ramones . . . Cheap Trick (?), Thin Lizzy (!!?), the Specials, the Clash, Johnny Cash, Red heart the ticker, others.

Shows: There are lots of good bands to see in Denver and that's a nice thing to do on a date. I don't go to many shows but I have friends in the local music scene past present and future, and I'm about to give standup a swing, need to case the joint first. Considering making the rounds of the open stage nights too or if I'm feeling extra brave who knows maybe I'll take my guitar to the mall or somewhere and try busking . . . that's how Joe Strummer got started, I hear.

Food: Not a vegetarian or vegan, especially love hot spicy non U.S. standard food like Indian, Mexican, Peruvian, Vietnamese food . . . also lately lots of ramen noodles with gr beef, onion, broccholi, kale, tomato, jalapeno, chili flavor, sure a nice cheeseburger with fries time to time, but sincerely aspire to a healthy as feasible near-omnivore diet, being especially attentive to the current Monsanto-led GMO infection of our food supply (have you heard?). A friend has recommended a book called Eat Right For Your Blood Type which seems promising of a whole new routine, I bought a copy but haven't really dived in yet. And I have a blender so I'm about to start juicing.

Some pillars of my life so far are creativity, humor, my ongoing effort to really get kind (like an ideal I'm always emulating, not to say I come across as particularly "kind" in person but who knows), also freedom of will and cultivation of a metaphysical angle on things. And love is always on my mind. However many that is. These are programs it would be very challenging for me to lack for but thankfully they're all internal qualities it would seem impossible to restrict. I think . . .

This morning I thought about overcoming self-sabotage, how to make my attitude a vector for contentment and achievement of my aims, and I am always thinking about this kind of thing. Playing and performing music in my time off as the mainstay of creative expression, thinking of song lyrics. Frequent thoughts of progress, forward motion, no more half stepping. Ambitiously trusting the current. I think about different things all the time. Just last night I was thinking about how trees all over the world have been in communication with each other through the root systems underground since the beginning of time, witnessing everything. You know, stuff like that. And other stuff. Just flashing through the flowers. Thinking of ink.

making room for everything my heart wants. Actually just found out there's a comedy open mic on Friday at 6 at Three Kings, so maybe that's it.

The fall is my favorite season since it signifies the reaping of seeds sown. I have no trouble admitting that. Ha ha! What, not private enough? Well . . .

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