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Mr_turnips

31 M East Kilbride, United Kingdom

My Details

Last Online
Online now!
Orientation
Straight
Ethnicity
White
Height
6′ 2″ (1.88m)
Body Type
Average
Diet
Strictly anything
Smokes
No
Drinks
Socially
Drugs
Never
Religion
Atheism, but not too serious about it
Sign
Aries, but it doesn’t matter
Education
Graduated from university
Job
Income
$20,000–$30,000
Relationship Status
Single
Relationship Type
Offspring
Doesn’t have kids, but might want them
Pets
Likes dogs and likes cats
Speaks
English (Fluently), German (Poorly)

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My self-summary
This is the part where I convince you to keep reading to the bottom of the page and that doing so will not be a colossal waste of time.

My name's David, and I live in East Kilbride, about half an hour in the car from Glasgow.

I switch off when people start talking about religion. It's not that I'm not interested in what it means to you and how it relates to you, it's just that I doubt I will feel the same way you do about it.

There is no such thing as an awkward silence. Just an opportunity to listen more intently. Which suits me down to the ground as I am much more of a listener than talker.

Don't ask about how I came up with the name Mr_turnips. It's an uninteresting story and you'll only end up disappointed.
What I’m doing with my life
I'm a rehabilitated taxman. I hated that job with a passion. It was so inhuman. I spent all the working day processing one form after another. A few hours of that plays tricks with the mind, and one form seems to blend into another.

My current job is a support worker in a home for middle aged to elderly adults with varying degrees of autism in the boarder between the Partick/Broomhill areas of Glasgow. I adore this job. Thrilled that I can make a difference in peoples lives. It couldn't be more different from working in the tax office.

I'll accept most challenges to do sponsored events for charity. April 2011 I was challenged by my friend Stacey (stacest) to abseil down Finnieston Crane in Glasgow for the Beatson Cancer Research Centre in Glasgow.

September 2011 I swam 1.6km around a Scottish loch for Macmillan Cancer Support.

In August 2012, I was to do exactly the same event for Yorkhill Childrens Hospital in Glasgow, but the event was cancelled.

2013, I didn't manage to do any challenges for charity, but did bungee jump just for the hell of it.

This year I have been 'volunteered' to get my legs waxed.
I’m really good at
I'm a great swimmer. I used to be in my town's swimming team. I'm at my happiest when in the pool since it's the only time I get some me time in this age of instant communication and media overload. Jumping into water is a good reason not to be carrying your phone. Swimming is my most favourite thing to do. By myself. It was suggested that I make that distinction!

If you are not a sporty/active kind of person, please don't let this put you off getting in touch.
The first things people usually notice about me
My large hands, (fairly) broad shoulders, the good grip on the Earth I have that comes from having size 13 feet, and probably my height.

I've also been told that I have a wonderful smile and very kissable lips.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food

Books

J.K. Rowling's Harry Potter series, Terry Pratchet's Discworld series, Douglas Adams Hitchikers Guide to the Galaxy series, Philip Pullman's His Dark Materials series, The Hobbit and The Lord of the Rings. Some graphic novels are also pretty sweet such as Neil Gaiman's The Sandman series, Jhonen Vasquez's JTHM and Squee!.

Got mad love for that fine ass literature? You best check this phat link homie: http://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLghL9V9QTN0jTgA1qrhWrBCB_Ln4xlVlB


Movies

Anime/Manga, action, sci-fi, horror, mystery etc etc. There really is far to many to mention here. As long as it's not a rom-com, I'll probably love it.

Favourite films in no particular order: Saving Private Ryan, Schindler's List, Forest Gump, Toy Story Trilogy, Up. Why? Cause these are all the films I've ever seen that brought a tear to my eye. The fact that Tom Hanks is in a lot of these is coincidental.


Music

Some good old fashioned Rock 'n' Roll like Black Sabbath, Led Zeppelin, AC/DC, Rolling Stones. But also from newer bands like Alice in Chains, Foo Fighters, Soundgarden, Metallica, and Pearl Jam. I recently found Mastodon and Orange Goblin. Dream Theater and Tool are the best bands you've (probably) never heard of.

My favourite band name is most definitely Alabama Thunderpussy. It's funny cause they aren't from Alabama. that's the joke right? Nah only kidding. It's Puscifer.

Could Joe Bonamassa be the most important blues guitarist of our age?

I also find myself in jazz and classical moods.


Food

Cereal for breakfast. I just don't understand the appeal of fry-ups. Don't get me wrong, I enjoy the foods that make up a fry up. Bacon, sausage etc. I just prefer to grill them than fry them.

I love pretty much most kinds of pasta and pizza (as long as the pizza doesn't have pineapple on it) Lean meats like chicken, turkey and fish are also delicious and the occasional steak. Most sweet things like chocolate. Infact, I love most things that aren't eggs, mushrooms or pineapples. Or cauliflower. (It's a FLOWER people! You wouldn't eat a rose or a tulip would you?)

I hate the taste of grapefruit juice and pineapple juice seperatly, as I find them both far too bitter. And yet I like Lilt which is a mixture of both. Weird huh? (Although it may just be all the sugar.)
The six things I could never do without
Well my family and friends first of all of course. If those aren't the first things on your list then shame on you cause they really should be.

Ambition. If it wasn't for ambition we wouldn't get things done.

Music. It's the soundtrack to life.

A really comfortable bed. You just can't beat the R&R that comes from a good well made mattress.

My iPod.

A challenge. Which is EXACTLY what thinking up a 6th thing was! Seriously, any other website would have been happy with just 5 things but nooooo okstoopid has to be awkward.
I spend a lot of time thinking about
What animal my Patronus Charm would look like.
On a typical Friday night I am
At work, at home or in the gym. Depends on the work rota.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
If you're female and are sick and tired of getting rude/dirty/inappropriate messages from guys, spare a thought for me! I'm regularly sent some very disturbing messages from 'ladies of a certain age'. Some are just really filthy. If you want a laugh and have a strong stomach, I'll share some.

I've never been with a girl who enjoyed getting oral, so I practice on Magnum ice creams.

I could be yours for the price of a bag of chocolate covered brazil nuts.

All men watch porn. No exceptions.
I’m looking for
  • Girls who like guys
  • Ages 21–30
  • Near me
  • Who are single
  • For new friends, long-term dating, short-term dating
You should message me if
1) You find this hilarious:

http://www.jest.com/video/174214/gilbert-gottfried-reads-fifty-shades-of-grey

2) You know of an upcoming sponsored event for charity and want to challenge me to do it with you, or want to introduce me to an extreme sport. How's that for a date idea?

3) You have read my profile and have a good idea what my patronus charm would/should be.

4) You like the cut of my jib.

If you are still unsure of whether or not you should message me, take the following test to find out:

Let me know the results.