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Mswift00

31 M New York, NY

My Details

Last Online
Online now!
Orientation
Straight
Ethnicity
White
Height
6′ 2″ (1.88m)
Body Type
Athletic
Diet
Strictly anything
Smokes
No
Drinks
Desperately
Drugs
Never
Religion
Agnosticism, and laughing about it
Sign
Capricorn, but it doesn’t matter
Education
Graduated from university
Job
Science / Engineering
Income
Relationship Status
Single
Relationship Type
Offspring
Pets
Likes dogs and likes cats
Speaks
English, Spanish (Poorly), C++ (Poorly)

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My self-summary
Endearingly douchey.
What I’m doing with my life
Keeping it together, mostly. Design engineer at a biotech startup. I 3D print things all day.

I've also been a DJ, pool boy, terrible waiter, clinical researcher, and private tutor for New York's wealthiest.
I’m really good at
My mom always said you shouldn't tell people what you're good at. But since you asked.

Writing, math and the teaching of math, cooking, running, making stuff work, watching English soccer (dad's from Liverpool), spelling and grammar (won the spelling bee in 5th grade...that got me so much ass at the time), eating, tying my shoelaces.
The first things people usually notice about me
I have a face.

I get Dan Humphrey from Gossip Girl a lot.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Books: anything by Jonathan Safran Foer, Ian McEwan, Hemingway...obvi 50 Shades of Grey.

Movies: Pulp Fiction, Reprise, The Hangover, A Clockwork Orange (most things Kubrick/Aronofsky-freaky), Ace Ventura, Coffee and Cigarettes, American Beauty...

Shows: Archer is hilarious. South Park, Simpsons, Curb, Dexter, Breaking Bad, Californication, Party Down.

Music: The White Stripes, Radiohead, Led Zep, Deadmau5, Daft Punk, Andrew Bird, Spoon, Jimi Hendrix, Girl Talk, The Clash, Rodrigo y Gabriela, LCD Soundsystem, Camu Tao, Mark Ronson, The Mars Volta (sometimes)...k that's sufficiently random.

Food: Spicy and as close to raw as safety allows.
The six things I could never do without
A bike.
Showers.
Sun.
Satire.
Logic.
Tony Horton (See self-summary).
I spend a lot of time thinking about
What do dogs think of people on bicycles?

What crazy bastard designed the first gasoline engine?

Do these shoes make me look fat?
On a typical Friday night I am
Cruising OKCupid for hotties.

What?
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I just overheard this on the train:

"Ok, the only thing I'm really looking for is, like, perfect chemistry."
"Right."
"Like, if I'm on a date with a girl and I put a joke out there that's, like, not that funny, like a four out of ten, and she responds with something that's, like, a six out of ten, and then I come back with something that's an eight out of ten; like she makes me funnier? That's what I'm looking for."

And I got a little teary-eyed.

Also - I shopped at H&M last week.
I’m looking for
  • Girls who like guys
  • Ages 24–32
  • Near me
  • For new friends, long-term dating, short-term dating
You should message me if
You prefer stick shift to automatic.
You think Malcolm Gladwell's unoriginal.
You like cilantro (apparently that's genetic).
You hate cupcakes. Or at least are confused about their trendiness.
You're hilarious.
You never tack "lol" onto the end of any type of written/typed communication.
Bonus points if you find it impossible to ever type "lol". Like I hated typing that just then.
You either hate folding laundry as much as I do, or you want to fold my laundry for me.
Something about my profile absolutely disgusted you. I'd kind of like to hear about it.