That's not very romantic, is it? So go away. I'm not interested in dating. You see, I honor being female in ways most do not, so don't even try to try to make sense of me on your own. Bug off. And I talk a lot, too, being happily female and all. Just backspace your way out of here. I'm actually far away in martyrdom right now, so pretend I'm dead already. Scram. I've had such a pathetic life that by now I'm contagious--community's scapegoat. So don't take another step forward, I'm warning you! Vamoose! The die has been cast for me to play a maddening role within the side-pocket of one of many secret, sacred, underground passages riddled with both soul-savoring and soul-saving experiences (e.g., click here), so I'm simply too much for most people to handle, and I do so very much need to be handled with care. So scat. I'm a constant source of radiating pain--decidedly dangerous, but good. So skedaddle already, 'cause "When a good [hu]man is hurt, all who would be called good must suffer with him [or her]" (~Euripides). So shoo. Grrrrrr. You've got no business reading on, and yet you still are. Geez, you never did listen to Euripides very well. Then again, neither did I.
Sigh. Well, if you insist on staying, you might as well make yourself cozy, as this may take a while. Feel free to help yourself to this sample of my self-summary background music. But if you prefer instrumental music, I am also this violin. Or, if you're tone-deaf yet have the stomach to digest a bit of Christian meat, perhaps you instead would prefer clicking here. There...All set?
When I first joined okcupid, I was strictly seeking a romantic partner, but changing circumstances have since created something of a power vacuum around me that makes the formation of a healthy love relationship highly unlikely. Since I can't yet know how my problems will work out I’m only intending to keep up with pen pals and make new friends on this site, and sometimes I’m not able to check my messages for months at a time due to surgeries and stuff. So even though I’m largely unavailable and may keep you waiting, all special requests will be taken into consideration (eventually) and hopefully I’ve included enough below to keep you busy in the meantime:
I’m a down to earth conversationalist with a pinch of panache who delights in the small things life has to offer and takes time to develop relationships based on mutual respect. Friends have described me as trustworthy, playful, truthful, compassionate, and brave. I get great satisfaction out of helping others and am known to go the extra mile to ensure they can get their needs met, but I try to tend to my own needs first so that I can continue being an effective force in people’s lives. I’ve overcome a mountain of challenges with a courageous spirit and continue to work on developing a strong character marked by integrity, tenacity, and a level of honesty that sometimes deals with brutal truths and challenges existing norms. I‘m an emotionally attuned and analytical thinker, and although I can adapt to most any situation, I’m increasingly not inclined to do so. I'm also quite comfortable with healthy emotional expressions, including anger and sadness. I’m an eNFp lady of substance seeking ...
...a synergistic relationship with a like-minded man who likes sharing stories of life's ups and downs, believes in bonding through friendship before engaging in physical affections, enjoys dealing with the ever-shifting trials of teens, and intrinsically wants to support me in my efforts to help others heal and thrive. Rather than putting stock in appearances, I'm attracted to the man more concerned with a woman's character and spirit enough to feel at home with my intuitive spontaneity. Ideally, he is somewhat older than me, has been a father, and has gone through his own share of low times himself, but still retains a determined attitude and is open to seeing other points of view. Success is important to him, but it doesn’t take priority over family, friends, and time to himself. He should consider himself a father to all the world’s children in some ways, and through this impulse can complement my own sense of duty regarding motherhood. (Public Service Announcement: Please supplant any current notions of maternal support that resemble this with support that looks more like this [except for the parts with the lady in the bathtub--she's a little iffy]. Moms everywhere thank you!) If he’s knowledgeable and inquisitive, appreciative of art and creativity, and able to laugh at my slightly "adorkable" side (my daughter's terminology), all the better.
Collaboration trumps compromise in my book. I'm a firm believer that couples need to feel free to express themselves, to really listen to each other, and to know they've each been heard. Occasional arguments, so long as they're based on establishing values and beliefs and are imbued with mutual respect, can ultimately strengthen the relationship and keep both parties focusing on what is most important individually and collectively. Without clear, honest communication, much of the relationship would be a guessing game, and no matter how empathic, psychic, and understanding a woman may seem to be, a vital love relationship cannot expect to grow well from a guessing game foundation. Only through communicating explicitly can others really know what we think, feel, desire, and need. So as it turns out, G. I. Joe was right after all: Knowing IS half the battle! (This is but one example of my slightly adorkable side.)
I'm a huge fan of Eleanor Roosevelt and Dorothy Day and hope to find someone who likewise appreciates my desire to make the world a better place in small ways throughout the day. It doesn't always need to be a strenuous or time-consuming affair; simply plant serendipity wherever you find a pre-dug hole: Hand a girl a flower with a warm smile--she'll remember it always. Visit the sick and elderly and share your triumphs and woes so they will know they are still useful, if only in their ability to pray for you and comfort you, which very well may prove to be the greatest gift of all. Pick up roadside litter. Tidy a waiting room. Jingle keys at a crying baby, and ask directions from the stranger who seems the loneliest. Drop pennies randomly, making sure they fall heads-up for unsuspecting wayfarers, or visit a soda machine and place a quarter in its return slot. Wave to oncoming traffic. Bark at a daydreaming dog. Look them in the eye, but see into their hearts. Give. Take. Embrace life and wonder.