If my life ends up like Michael Caine's character in Children of
Men, I will consider myself lucky. George Carlin is my personal
hero, and remains the only celebrity I've ever mourned. If I told
you my family's history, you wouldn't believe me. I will always be
living an abnormal life.
What I’m doing with my life
I retired young. That's just a nice way of saying that I am
disabled. Not the best thing to put on a dating profile, but it's
not like I can lie about it. I'm sure this crosses me off the list
for many of you, but if you're still reading past this, kudos for
being open minded.
I’m really good at
I am a jack of all trades, master of none. A really good jack,
The first things people usually notice about me
The beard. Varies in size from the Orlando Bloom Special to Grizzly
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Books- The Damnation Game, Neuromancer, Fight Club, The Hellbound
Heart, Mr. B. Gone, Lullaby, Neverwhere, Pattern
Recognition....I'll stop here for now.
Movies- Pi, Children of Men, Tank Girl, Johnny Mnemonic, Let Me In,
The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo....stop me.
Shows- Doctor Who, X-files, Luther, The Hour, Rubicon
Music- Nine Inch Nails, The Prodigy, KMFDM, Marilyn Manson
Food- Indian food. And burgers. I eat my vegetables.
The six things I could never do without
-Facial hair. I have a weak chin.
I spend a lot of time thinking about
I grew up when Sci-Fi asked big questions, TLC was actually The
Learning Channel, and History Channel showed history. There isn't
much I don't spend my time thinking about. Thinking is my favorite
On a typical Friday night I am
Not going to bars or parties. I've outgrown them.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I'm balding. It happens. I wear a hat more often than not. Also, let's be honest here. I'm not your Disney prince. You're not my porn goddess. We'll both just have to live with that reality. That being said, I'll try if you will. I have social anxiety.
I have a crush on Tilda Swinton. Don't ask me to explain.
You should message me if
-You're open to weirditude.
-You hate bars.
-You eat meat (sorry herbivores).
-You've seen some shit. o_o
Don't message me if:
-You've ever stated that you're 100% anything (italian, irish,
whatever). It's not cute and more often than not it's used as an
excuse to be a douche.
-You're trying to meet a body, not a person. I don't mind if you
aren't physically perfect. If you're looking for that, move on,
because I'm not going to be bothered trying to live up to an image
you saw in Cosmo.
I dunno. Those are more guidelines than rules.