I LIKE TO TOUCH BIG BOOBIES! I LIKE TO TOUCH BIG BUTTS!
...while sipping a nice Pinot Noir and reading Tolstoy. Now imagine
I'm saying the following with a bad rendition of a british accent.
My apologies for being so inarticulate and crude in my first
sentence. I just always wanted to do that on an online profile.
Unleash the inner retard within and splatter it onto the net for
all the women to see. It's certainly a gamble...quite possibly some
kind of exhibtionism. But I digress.
I once did the hokey pokey and turned myself around...yet
afterwards I retained an empty and existential feeling that it
wasn't in fact "what it was all about." So I decided to read
Nietszche.
I can't salsa dance or speak fluent Spanish but I'm pretty good at
faking both of these things making me the next best thing to a
Latin Lover.
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I am termagant, hebetic, and costive
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The Skinny
How Well We Know Him
Ethnicity White
Height 5' 10" (1.77m).
Looking For New friends, Long-term dating, Short-term dating, Activity partners, Long-distance penpals, Casual encounters (sex partners)
Smokes Sometimes
Drinks Often
Drugs Sometimes
Religion Agnosticism and laughing about it
Sign Leo and it's fun to think about
Education Working on college/university
Job Artistic / Musical / Writer
Income N/A
Kids N/A
Pets N/A
Languages English
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My Notes edit
My self-summary
What I'm doing with my life
Being so damn Irish yet so damn unlucky. When my actors and sound
guy bother show up I sometimes pretend that I'm a director. I
sometimes think I'm a screenwriter until my alchohol induced 120
pages of dystopian vision gets rejected by a production company
that then says if I would have written a buddy cop movie they would
buy it. I freelance write but then my editor keeps shelving my
articles cause he thinks I'll get his magazine sued.
I'm really good at
Filling out OK Cupid profiles.
The first thing(s) people usually notice about me
That I'm not the type of guy that will not flog you repeatedly with
a large blunt object. It's just not my style. This quality does
occasionally disapoint some women however.
My favorite books, movies, music, and food
A) What I say when I Hit on Smart Women : Joyce, Kafka, Burroughs,
Pynchon, Shakespeare, Conrad, Camus, Bret Easton Ellis, William
Gibson, Murakami, Dostoevsky etc. etc. (I then give some bullshit
line like, "this is the type of literature that scours the depths
of the human psyche and stirs the imagination...sometimes lifts us
up beyond our plight, or brings a spiritual truth to the
surface.")
What I Really Read: Whatever is the Oprah book of the month, The Da Vinci Code, That book "He's Just Not Into You." Any series of books based of a role-playing or video game. Feminist Literature on how to take back the Vagina. Larry the Cable Guy's Bio.
B) What I say when I hit on Film Snobs: Goddard, Hitchcock, Welles, Buneul, Bergman, Kubrick, Von Trier etc. etc. (I then give some bullshit line like "these are the director's that reveal magnitude of society's Jungian collective unconcious through such a hypnotic medium of film.")
What I really watch: Anything with Vin Diesal. Anything with Hulk Hogan....Jennifer Lopez romantic comedies. Any movie based on a video game or comic book. And Larry the Cable Guy's movie. I like potty humor, it makes me chuckle.
C) What I say when I hit on Hipster Women: Aphex Twin, Sonic Youth, Skinny Puppy, Iggy Pop, David Bowie, Bright Eyes, The Mars Volta, Bjork, Radiohead, Arcade Fire, The Cure, Throbbing Gristle, Psychic TV, Henry Rollins, Syd Barret, Beethoven, Public Enemy, Sage Francis, Tribe Called Quest, Squarepusher, Tori Amos, Cursive, Ministry, Depeche Mode, etc. etc. (I then give a line like "yeah I like bands that are even more obscure than those, but I feel that those bands represent the peak in the mainstream aspect of their genre.")
What I really Listen to: Papa Roach, Limp Bizkit, Justin Timberlake, Lil Jon, The Pussycat Dolls...repetative techno. Whatever any artist that was on American Idol puts out. Larry the Cable Guy's comedy album.
D) Cheese-Wiz
What I Really Read: Whatever is the Oprah book of the month, The Da Vinci Code, That book "He's Just Not Into You." Any series of books based of a role-playing or video game. Feminist Literature on how to take back the Vagina. Larry the Cable Guy's Bio.
B) What I say when I hit on Film Snobs: Goddard, Hitchcock, Welles, Buneul, Bergman, Kubrick, Von Trier etc. etc. (I then give some bullshit line like "these are the director's that reveal magnitude of society's Jungian collective unconcious through such a hypnotic medium of film.")
What I really watch: Anything with Vin Diesal. Anything with Hulk Hogan....Jennifer Lopez romantic comedies. Any movie based on a video game or comic book. And Larry the Cable Guy's movie. I like potty humor, it makes me chuckle.
C) What I say when I hit on Hipster Women: Aphex Twin, Sonic Youth, Skinny Puppy, Iggy Pop, David Bowie, Bright Eyes, The Mars Volta, Bjork, Radiohead, Arcade Fire, The Cure, Throbbing Gristle, Psychic TV, Henry Rollins, Syd Barret, Beethoven, Public Enemy, Sage Francis, Tribe Called Quest, Squarepusher, Tori Amos, Cursive, Ministry, Depeche Mode, etc. etc. (I then give a line like "yeah I like bands that are even more obscure than those, but I feel that those bands represent the peak in the mainstream aspect of their genre.")
What I really Listen to: Papa Roach, Limp Bizkit, Justin Timberlake, Lil Jon, The Pussycat Dolls...repetative techno. Whatever any artist that was on American Idol puts out. Larry the Cable Guy's comedy album.
D) Cheese-Wiz
The six things I could never do without
My Orlando Bloom Posters...yes...all six of them.
It's not that I'm gay, I just like to decorate like a teenage girl.
It's not that I'm gay, I just like to decorate like a teenage girl.
I spend a lot of time thinking about
What is the solution to a unified theory of quantum gravity that
alludes even todays most erudite Physicistss such as Stephen
Hawking? Then I get distracted and start thinking about Monster
Trucks, and how cool it is that they can smash and run over things.
On a typical Friday night I am
Posting Videos of Bum fights on Youtube and overlaying them to a
soundtrack of either Def Lepard's "Pour Some Sugar on Me" or Bon
Jovi's "Living on a Prayer."
The most private thing I'm willing to admit here
When I was 11 or 12 I liked that "Big Butts" song. I even owned the
CD.
You should message me if
If you are a living incarnation of a Hitchock female lead starlett.
This means you are beautiful in analog to an ice sculpture, cold
yet symmetrically seductive with penetrating eyes that let the
occasional dream sequence seep out for us both to hallucinate
in...and of course you must be capable of commiting murder.
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